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Connor:
Good morning, a mhuirnín. I hope you had a good, restful sleep.
Hadley:
Good morning, handsome! I actually did. I slept really well, and my morning has been highly productive. Even on only one cup of coffee. How was your night?
Connor:
It wasn’t bad. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, though.
I am smiling at how sweet this man is when another text comes through.
Connor:
I know this is pretty forward, but I’d love to take you to dinner this evening. Say seven p.m.?
My stomach flips in my chest. I have never been on a date with anyone but Andy. Can I do this?
I quickly tap the shortcut to FaceTime Ryan, my fingers trembling. She answers after two rings, her familiar face filling the screen. A moment later, Kat’s worried expression pops up.
“What’s wrong?” she asks quickly.
“You guys, Silver Fox just asked me out! TONIGHT!” I shout into the phone. “I can’t do this.” I sigh, burying my face in my hands.
Ryan chuckles. “Babe, you absolutely can. Have some fun. He is gorgeous, and you deserve to have some fun until Andy stops being a dumbass.”
I can see Kat nodding in agreement next to her. “My love, I think it would be a disservice to yourself if you didn’t. I mean, damn! Did you even look at his pictures?”
After taking a deep breath and saying our goodbyes, I’ve made my decision. I tap out another message.
Hadley:
OK, I’d love to. Where would you like to meet?
I make the mistake of texting Andy after my appointment, letting him know that I am going out with someone tonight. After all, we are supposed to be honest with each other for this to work the way he intended, right?
His response, though? Oh, it guts me all over again.
Hadley:
Hi, honey. I wanted to let you know I met someone, and I’m going out with them tonight.
Andy:
LOL, sure.
While I have no intention of sleeping with Connor right now, I am glad I’ve decided to start birth control again after that text. I really love Andy—I have for a freaking decade—but I’m beginning to question if he is the man I thought he was. His response to my date feels so eye-opening in ways I’m not prepared to unpack.
I stare at myself in the mirror for twenty minutes, unhappy with how I look. I have lost so much weight from the stress of this shitstorm that my clothes don’t fit right anymore.
Fuck it. I can rock this, I tell myself with more confidence than I feel.
I zip up the red pleather knee-high boots and paint on some red lipstick to match. My slacks may not be as snug as I like them to fit, but I’m not going to let that stop me. The hem of the white cropped sweater I’ve decided to wear lands just below my breasts with a plunging neckline, making me feel sexy. My breasts have always been full, so even with the weight I lost, this top still looks amazing.
I make it halfway to the restaurant he chose, Visaggio’s, before I start to panic and begin to second-guess my decision to go through with this. I know that Ryan was honest in my profile with my situation, and he is still interested anyway. Either he is a saint or just crazy.
Attempting to shake away my negative thoughts, I keep going. I am determined to see this through. Apparently, that’s my mantra for the day.
