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“Sorry, it’s taking so long. I was distracting him,” Madison apologizes and when she flashes a look back at me, I realize the comment is meant for both of us. She follows Joss back out the door, and I’m left feeling like I’m fucking things up once again.
29
Madison
By the timeI get back to the room after the day at Joss’s house, I’m a frazzled and weary ball of frustration. Worried that I made a mistake by sleeping with him so soon or that I slept with him at all. That everything in my life revolves around him professionally, and I’m losing perspective on him and our relationship in my personal life too. The delicate balance I was hoping for is already unraveling, and I’m as furious with myself as I am with him.
I stare at the door, tempted to knock on it. I don’t even know what I’ll do if I see him right now. I barely made it through the car ride and up the elevator. Half of me wants to lecture my client on his behavior this afternoon, how important all of these things are to his career and mine, and the other half of me wants him to make me forget everything again. But I’m still working through how I feel about his confession. What itmeans for us now all these years later. If it’s enough to mend all the shattered edges of my heart.
He’s also made it clear that he doesn’t care about professional boundaries or what anyone thinks. He was barely able to keep his temper in check this afternoon when he thought Nick was overstepping. I spent most of the day terrified he was going to say something that would make our secret public. So I’m the only bulwark between us and disaster and that means I’ve got to keep it all together.
I have to get him out of my head, but being with anyone else holds no interest for me. Which means the only way I’m taking the edge off this, is by myself. I can at least think about someone else while I do it. Imagine it’s Nick on top of me holding me down and fucking me senseless. He could probably fuck me without holding back the way Quentin does. Look at me like I’m not some precious thing that he might break again. No baggage would get in the way of us fucking and enjoying it.
I grab my toy out of my bag, the one I brought for just such an emergency, and toss it on the bed. I’d already stripped halfway out of my clothes in anticipation of taking a shower, so I crawl into bed. I close my eyes and try to picture Nick’s face. His curly blond hair and his bright smile. I hear the sound of his laugh and imagine it’s him here next to me telling me how much he wants me. How he can’t stop thinking about me.
I slip my hand between my legs, gently running my fingers and then my palm over my clit. Spreading my legs wider while I try to imagine him telling me how much he wants to taste me. But his hair turns dark and tattoos appear all over his skin. His genuine smile turns into a wicked grin. Suddenly it’s not his hands slipping down over my stomach to touch me but tattooed knuckles. I let out a silent scream and open my eyes again, staring at the ceiling of the hotel room.
I can do this. I just need to concentrate. And use something that will do a better job of distracting me. I slip my vibrator outof its bag and flick it on. I run it over my body first, dipping it under the cups of my bra to tease my nipples and then down over my stomach. I tease it over my abdomen and my upper thighs, trying to build up Nick in my head again.
I slide the vibrator between my legs, over the cotton of my panties, and then I close my eyes again. The vibration starts to tease life back into my clit once more, and I can feel the desire starting to bloom. Nick’s blue eyes are on me, kissing his way down my body until he grabs the edge of my panties, pulling them back to place a playful kiss underneath. He starts telling me how gorgeous I am and how much he wants to fuck me, and I click the vibrator up a notch—moaning when I feel the first little aches of want spread through me. Nick’s eyes shift down between my thighs as he bites his lip, and he tells me what a good girl I am for him.
“I can hear you.”
The fantasy bubble bursts, and Quentin’s standing there instead of Nick. Glaring at me like I’m a traitor. This time the scream is less silent. There’s a loud knock at the door between our rooms, and I turn the vibrator off, shoving it back in its case.
“Open the door, Madison.” Quentin’s tone is demanding, and the audacity of his insistence paired with my desperate need for a fucking orgasm riles me to the absolute edge.
I jump out of bed, grabbing the robe I’d left draped over the desk chair, and wrap it around me, angrily tying it closed before I grab the door and wrench it open. Stormy dark blue eyes meet mine, and they narrow as they drift down my body.
“What do you want?”
“I canhearyou.”
“And? I don’t care. Turn the TV on. Go down to the bar.”
I can’t help but take in his shirtless state though. He’s wearing nothing but his jeans, and my eyes are drawn to every hard curve of his chest before I can tear them away. This isgoing to fucking ruin any attempt I make to get back to Nick. Nick is handsome, lush lips and cheekbones to die for. But he can’t compete with Quentin. I’m going to have to do double time now to try to erase him from the fantasy. I start to shut the door, but his palm hits the frame and braces it open. His mouth draws up in a self-assured smile.
“If you need me, you don’t have to settle for a toy.”
A shocked laugh pops out of me. The absolute gall.
“You’re so incredibly vain, Undergrove. Like I told you when you thought you couldhearme on the phone, it has nothing to do with you.”
“We bicker all day. You’re frustrated and grumpy the whole way back here. The first thing you do when you get back is take out your vibrator, and I’m supposed to think that has nothing to do with me?”
I flash him a bright saccharine smile.
“I spent all day hanging around Nick after not seeing him for months. He flirted with me the whole day, and I can’t stop imagining what his mouth would feel like on me. But I can’t have him because I need to be loyal to A.J. So I’m frustrated and grumpy, and the first thing I do when I get back here is imagine him fucking me senseless while I use my vibrator to get me off.”
I watch Quentin’s face darken with this information, his jaw goes tight, and his eyes study mine before they drift over me again.
“Then let me watch.”
“Excuse me?”
“I want to watch you come while you think about another man, Madison. Let me see it. It can cure me of this sick fucking obsession I have over you for good. Remind me why I can’t ever have you because you want fucking Ivy League cock instead of me. You won’t forgive me.Fine.Punish me then, and let’s get this fucking over with.”
He makes his way into my room and shuts the door behindhim with a loud click. Every step back I take, he takes one forward until my legs hit the bed, and I’m staring up at him. He’s furious. His eyes are dark and every muscle in his body is rigid.
