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When he leaps into my arms, I pick him up, give him a hug, then walk over to the sofa to plonk him down between his sister and cousin.
Grace signs, “Hi Demon,” and Teagan gives me a wave. I lean over to kiss their heads and their soft hair tickles my nose. When I glance down, Alaska’s phone screen shows an image of a young, brown-haired girl wearing a graduation cap and gown.
“I was telling Willow that my friend’s daughter just graduated from high school and is going to major in Deaf Studies in college.” Alaska scrolls through a few more photographs before turning back to Willow. “Do you think…” Her words fade away as I’m pulled into memory.
My vision blurs and my head spins with memories.
Pride filled me and a real smile stretched across my face as I watched Sara accept her diploma. Her cap and gown suited her perfectly. Her eyes were bright, and happiness enveloped her as she made her way across the stage to take her seat with the rest of her graduating class.
After the fucked-up childhood we had, graduating was a dream Sara never imagined would come true. It didn’t take me long to get her to believe that with a little effort, anything was possible. Looking back, every struggle was worth it to watch my little sister thrive. If I had my time over, I’d go through it all again.
The twelve-hour shifts at work, late night jobs stocking grocery store shelves, and saving every penny I earned until I’d built a small nest egg for Sara’s future. I didn’t need to graduate. I had no use for diplomas or degrees. I learned all I needed to know from the streets, and I wasn’t ashamed of that.
“I am proud to present to you, the graduating class…” The commencement speaker’s voice was lost in the cheers as the graduates tossed their caps into the air. The crowd shouted their excitement as the students celebrated the end of one journey and the start of another. Everyone was surrounded by groups of loved ones cheering them on and talking about their hopes and dreams for the future.
“What’s up, Zainy,” Sara said, wrapping her thin arms around my larger frame. “You look sad… or mad?”
Warmth bloomed in my chest at the nickname she gave me when she was barely seven years old. I would do any-fucking-thing to ensure her happiness. I shook my head. “I’m good, just thinking.” As I hugged her, I inhaled the familiar scent of her shampoo before I put my hands on her shoulders and stood back to take her in. “I’m proud of you,” I told her firmly. “So fuckin’ proud.”
A beaming smile lit up her entire face. “I told you I’d do it, didn’t I?” The smile dropped, and when Sara averted her gaze, I rubbed her arm.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.
She shrugged. “I’m gonna miss you is all…” she hesitated, “Are you scared? You know, to go so far away, to fight… to—” she trailed off, but I knew what she wanted to say.
To maybe die. We’d had the conversation many times. I’d have been lying if I said the thought of dying didn’t scare me, but more than that was the thought that if I died, there’d be no one left to look out for Sara. Sure, she had friends, good ones at that, but other than me, she had no family. Our parents were drug addicts and criminals, and after Mom died and Dad went to prison, there was nothing left for us. Our family home had long been condemned and bulldozed to make way for new housing complexes.
It was as though our entire childhood was wiped off the map. The slate wiped clean so that we could move on with our lives and forget about the abuse of our past.
Since we left home, it had been me and Sara all the way. From our first night alone in a shelter, to the small, broken-down trailer we lived in for a couple weeks, to our first rundown apartment. Through thick and thin we stuck together like glue.
“I’ll miss you too,” I said, ignoring her other question. “But I’m gonna write every chance I get, remember? And we’re safe now, nothing and no one will ever hurt you again. They’re gone, Sara, for good this time.”
Eyes welling with unshed tears, she nodded then wrapped those bony arms around my neck. “Be careful,” she said. “Or I’ll punch you.” She followed her warning up with a punch to my shoulder.
I feigned pain and gave my arm a rub as I winced. “Damn, girl, you’ve got some power in that punch.”
Sara giggled and shook her head. “Liar,” she said.
I threw my arm over her shoulder and started to lead her toward the parking lot when two girls bounded toward us.
“Sara!”The blonde, Lacey, said, “You coming to the lake?”
Sara looked up at me and Lacey followed her gaze, blue eyes met mine and the blonde’s cheeks flamed red as she batted her long lashes. “Oh hi, Zain,” she said. “You can come too… to the lake I mean. If you want.”
I shook my head and looked down at Sara. “You want to go?”
Sara hummed, thought it over for a minute, then shook her head. “Actually, I’m going to head home. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow though.”
“Sure!” Lacey said. The girls exchanged hugs and whispered giggles before they took off toward another group of friends.
“Lacey thinks you’re hot,” Sara said in a sing-song voice.
I shoved her with my elbow. “Enough of that,” I scolded. “They’re kids, like you.”
Huffing in mock disgust, Sara crossed her arms over her chest and stomped her foot—like a kid. “Not a kid, Zain,” she said indignantly.
“Ho-ly shit. Look what the cat dragged in.” Angel’s voice pulls me from my thoughts and brings me back to the present. He runs his hands over my face and shoulders. “Hold on, gotta make sure you’re real and not a figment of my imagination.”
