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“Okay, so it’s ready to be shaped and put in the oven,” Jai says as he places the dough on a sheet and pulls the oven open.As soon as it closes, he immediately begins to work on the next loaf. He hasn’t looked at me since the kiss. Hasn’t even peeked over at me. It’s like he can’t stand for me to even be here.
I upset him, and I hate that.
“Look, Jai. I know we said we wouldn’t talk about it, but like, do you want me to suck your dick or something?”
Jai’s eyes slam into mine. “No. I don’t want that. Jesus.”
“Shit, I mean, I don’t want you to feel bad about the kiss, and I can make you feel better. It won’t take long and it’s no problem.”
He looks slightly offended at my comment. “I’ll be fine. I don’t want your pity dick-sucking. I’m not that desperate.”
He sounds upset again, and I lean against the counter, trying like hell not to cry. My eyes sting and there’s a lump in my throat. I’ve messed this all up. All I wanted to do was bake bread, but now Jai is upset with me.
“Jai, I’m really fucking sorry.”
“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does. You’re mad at me.”
“I’m not. I’m just resigned…to a lot of things now, and I have a lot of bread to bake tonight.”
I don’t like the tone of his voice. He sounds a little broken, and I hate to think that my actions or words did that to him. “Yeah, okay.”
He peeks over at me and then focuses back on the task at hand. We’re silent for a long time, me just watching him until the timer dings and Jai pulls out a beautiful-looking loaf of bread. The smell is absolutely mouthwatering.
Shit. Jai is absolutely amazing. If I was into guys, I could totally see myself having a crush on him.
But I don’t. I’m not even remotely interested. Not in him or his dick. Both do absolutely nothing for me.
Only Alec. His dick, his tongue, his mouth. Everything about him. I wish I could stop thinking about that man, about the things he did to me. But I can’t. I can’t fucking stop.
“I can wrap it up for you and you can take it home,” Jai says, still not meeting my eyes.
I nod and watch as he puts it in some kind of cloth and hands it to me. It’s still hot, and I feel it almost burn my palms.
“Maybe you should take up knitting,” he says as I cradle the warm lump near my chest.
I get the hint. I’m a terrible baker, so much so that he wants me to leave.
“Yeah, maybe I should. I’ll…I’ll go, but can we hang out again?”
He nods. “Of course. I just have a lot to do tonight.”
I pull my keys out of my pants pocket and walk to the door. He doesn’t even follow me, just continues kneading the bread on the counter.
I mutter a low goodbye and then make my way to my car, feeling so fucking confused. I have no idea why Jai did that. Maybe it really was the yeast, or maybe he’s had a thing for me. I don’t even want to go down that road.
He’s my friend. He’s just my friend.
When I arrive home, I see Lucas sitting on the couch in only his boxers and Ollie cuddled up next to him. I wish I had someone to cuddle with.
“What’s that?” Ollie asks, his eyes zeroing in on the loaf of bread in my arms.
“Bread. Jai made it.”
Ollie perks up and hops over to me. “Oh, can I try some? Jai makes the best bread.”
“He does,” I say as Ollie takes the bread like a newborn baby and settles it on the kitchen counter.
