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I’ve been in his sisters apartment dozens of times, surely there will be pictures there that I’ve missed.
How did I miss this?
“Luke, we can talk about it.” I reach for him, trying to provide some sort of comfort but deep down I know this is over.
I remind him of her. She was my mentor, she had a direct influence on me growing up so of course there are elements of my skill that mirror hers.
And he’s right, I laid there between the same goalposts as she did for a few agonising minutes as I struggled to come around after such a brutal hit.
“It’s not about that. I know I have issues when it comes to my mam’s death that I need to resolve, and one day I will. But what I hated today, was my reaction. I was so quick to want to pull you away from a career you love for completely selfish reasons.” He steps away from me closer to the door. “Youdeserve so much better than that, so much better than I can give you.”
Tears fall down my cheeks thick and fast. “Luke, please don’t go.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. It’s over.”
I want to fight, I want to shake him until he sees sense but his mind is made up. There’s nothing more for me to do than watch as he walks out of my flat for the last time, leaving me heartbroken and alone.
Bridget and Brooke find me an hour later, crumpled and crying uncontrollably into a pillow on the floor of my living room. I don’t have to tell them what happened, they already know. I assume Luke called and sent them to me.
They pick me up and help me into the bathroom where they force me to shower away all the grass and dirt still caked to my legs and arms from the match. If it was up to me, I’d have stayed in the same position for god knows how long.
I go through the motions of washing my body and my hair, drying and dressing myself, telling myself I’ll feel better when I’m done.
But even when I’m sitting on the sofa, dressed in the PJs I wore when I confronted him all those weeks ago, I don’t feel better at all.
“I’ll fucking castrate him if I ever see him again!” Brooke shouts loudly, with the hopes he hears her through the thin walls. “Slowly with a rusty butter knife.”
“Brooke,” Bridget warns her looking between us but I don’t respond.
Bridget crouches down next to me where I lay on my sofa.
“What can we do?” Her voice is as calming as ever but it has no affect on my mood.
“I just want to go to bed,” I tell her. I pick myself up and shuffle towards my bedroom door. The girls will let themselves out.
“There has to be something we can do,” Brooke looks at me helplessly.
“He has his reasons, Brooke. And there’s nothing any of us can do to change his mind.”
Chapter Twenty
Luke
“Well, this is a lovely surprise,” Hannah says as I let her into her flat a week later. She landed at Newcastle airport an hour ago with a golden tan and her bright curly hair impossibly blonder. “The plants seem to be thriving.”
“I took care of them exactly as you said.” I’m surprised Hannah hasn’t pulled me on my attitude yet but I know she won’t let me wallow in my sadness for too long. I know my sister better than I know myself. She’s biding her time.
“Tea?” I ask.
“I would love a cup! I don’t know what it is, but Aussie tea just isn’t the same,” she says, and I make my way to the kitchento put the kettle on buying myself a few more minutes. I catch my reflection in the microwave and cringe. Even though it’s a distorted image, I can see how dark my eyes are. I’ve not slept much this past week. It’s hard to sleep alone especially since the one thing I need most in this world is within touching distance. Instead, I’ve done all I can to distract myself which includes gaming all hours of the night and day.
It’ll be easier to get over her when I’m back in my own house. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
“So,” she asks when I return with two steaming cups. “Are you going to tell me why you’re so miserable? Or should I annoy it out of you instead?”
“I’m not miserable, Han.”
“Really, you fooled me!” She sighs heavily. “I know heartbreak when I see it, Luke.”
