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It was nearly time for dinner once I was fully awake. Only Elias had been fed, Joel emerging from the bathroom smelling like pine to rescue me of one son so that I could feed the other. A sly smile slipped onto my lips as I caught the flushed edge to Joel’s skin, knowing that he must have either spoken with Isaias or been thinking about him.
The lingering scents in the house made my nose twitch, scents dragged in unconsciously by my mates. It hadn’t bothered me before so I wasn’t sure what had changed. I did know that every time I caught a foreign scent, I wanted to haul them off into a shower to wash it off and then replace it with my own.
I didn’t do that, knowing that that kind of possessive bullshit was just a little too over the top. Sure, Omegas were territorial of their pack but it didn’t mean I needed to be.
The empty bedroom down the hallway called out to me, reminding me of the nursery project we had started andabandoned months ago. Between bouts of bed rest and my irritable moods, I couldn’t think of anything other than the babies I had to protect. I also wouldn’t let my mates finish it without me so the room lay in pieces, half-decorated. Parts for a crib were pulled out of the box but not assembled. Cans of paint tucked in the corner but untouched.
Maybe when Isaias returned, I’d finish it.
Moving to gather in the kitchen, Leo curled against my chest as he drank his fill and I could relax again. Knowing that Isaias would be here tomorrow morning had put us all in better spirits.
I resituated myself on the stool just beside the kitchen island before grabbing Ren’s stack of study cards. He had been mercilessly preparing for his exam and while he didn’t need the extra practice, I loved watching him spout his newfound knowledge.
“What’s idealization?” I asked. Ren paused stirring the noodles on the stove and tilted his head to the side. Like me, his hair had grown out a little, his curls flopping with the movement, the deep brown of his eyes vibrant.
“It’s overestimation of an admired aspect or attribute of another,” Ren pushed out all in one breath. He twisted around to me with a silly grin on his lips. “Give me something more difficult.”
I chuckled, wondering if he understood that to the rest of us,allof these were difficult. Still, I obliged, looking for cards with longer definitions. Ren answered each one perfectly, as he always did. He flitted around the kitchen as he checked on the cheesy broccoli in the oven and then returned to the stove to start the red sauce for our noodles. Joel stepped up beside me and placed a brief kiss on my cheek.
“I think Leo might be all done, Kieran.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice as I looked down to see Leo half asleep but still sucking my nipple. The little bugger could fall asleepanywhere. Elias was a bit more alert, constantly looking around, reaching for things. Even at four months, I knew that he was going to be our troublemaker. Gladly, I switched with Joel, Elias content to play with one of my fingers as that was all he could wrap his hand around.
When a knock on the door interrupted the moment, I stole Leo back. I held my breath, every fear in my head rushing toward the front. I’m not even sure when I moved but I was halfway down the hallway before Joel ever opened the front door and only when I heard our neighbor’s voice did I relax again. Fuck, I hated these feelings.
There were several seconds of conversation as I clutched my sons against my bare chest, all three of us huddled silently in the darkness. Ren peeked around the corner to see where I had disappeared to, his face falling at what had to be the most pitiful image. It wasn’t until Joel returned that I realized how much I was worrying them.
“Kieran, babe, it was just Xylo. The Beta who lives across the street. The ranger that Isaias went to school with.”
“What did he want?” I bit out. Fuck, if it had anything to do with Michael…
Joel approached slowly, trying not to scare me. “Babe, Isaias just sent him to check on us. Make sure we were doing alright.” I raised an eyebrow, tightening my hold as I silently asked the question none of us wanted to answer. “Nothing’s happened. Isaias just wanted to make sure we’re okay. He’ll be home in the morning and he’ll explain everything.”
It made sense that Isaias wasn’t going to scare Ren and me through text, but it also meant that something was going on. Did I want to know what had Joel slightly spooked? One sniff at the air told me that his scent was closer to a torrential storm than the fresh rain I loved so much.
“Joel.” His name came out harsher than I had expected but I wasn’t taking one step into the kitchen until he explained.
He hung his head, warring with his thoughts. “There’s more to that incident last year. I don’t know all the details, just that there’s more. But as I told Ren, we’re safe here. We’re surrounded by people that love and cherish us. I know every single ranger at the school a few miles up.” He held out his hand, hoping that I’d take it. I didn’t move, though. I wasn’t sure I could after knowing that Michael wasn’t just a bastard, that there was a reason behind all those years I had suffered.
I liked it more when I thought Michael was just a crazy Alpha who wanted absolute control over an Omega. With him gone, the problem had been solved. If thatwasn’tthe case, that meant that Michael was only part of the problem and I didn’t want to think about that.
When Elias laid his head on my shoulder, cooing for my attention, I gave in. Physically, I knew we would be fine. Mentally was another story. I handed Leo to Joel and the Beta gave me a small smile before leading me back into the kitchen. I took a seat at the table, a wave of heat spreading through my limbs.Fuck.The doctor had mentioned that my irregular heats and biological makeup could throw me into a heat before I was ready. But while I was nursing and navigating my nightmares? No thanks.
A groan bellowed from my throat, my mates freezing to turn around and look at me. Their nostrils flared at the change in my scent before they scrambled to the medicine cabinet. The spike disappeared as fast as it had come but my mates were already moving, general relief sweeping over me when Ren dragged a finger across my upper lip. Seconds later, Joel was slipping two pills into my mouth and handing me a glass of water to wash it down.
Joel leaned against my side, still holding Leo as he ran his free hand through my long hair. “Just some blockers. You’ll come back to us at your own pace, Kieran.”
My body sagged against the chair as the heat suppressant and scent blocker took effect. Ren and Joel’s scents dimmed and my body’s need to spiral into a heat disappeared. The medicine wasn’t a permanent solution but one that would stave off the effects long enough for me to heal, not just from the surgery but from everything else. Dr. Ashford made me promise to schedule a consult with him if after six months if I still needed them. There was less than two months before I had to reevaluate and I wasn’t sure I’d be ready for that loss of control by then.
Joel was still stroking my hair when I fully came back, Ren’s hands clasped together as he huddled in front of me. “You’ll be alright, Kieran. I promise.” He pointed to a plate that had materialized in the last few minutes. “Eat something and then maybe we can watch movies until Isaias comes back.” The little Alpha’s head tilted to the side and for the first time I realized that he was giving me a command. He had never used his Alpha bark that I had seen and he never pushed his essence into his words. Right now, though, my Omega felt like he had to make Ren happy by any means necessary. And if that meant eating, it’s what I’d do.
Ren eagerly stole Elias from me, his gaze lingering on my chest a little longer than appropriate. It hadn’t been a surprise when my nipples became our little Alpha’s second favorite thing to wrap his lips around, although I had declared them off-limits. I had never known them to be so fucking sensitive but that didn’t stop Ren from trying. Even now, heat bled through his expression and only my scowl had him backing away and playfully dancing to the stove as he held Elias.
Joel hadn’t moved but that didn’t absolve me from eating, the Beta pushing against my shoulder to at least shove a few forkfulsin my mouth. The problem was that Ren had made one of my favorite meals and the only thing I wanted to do was curl back up in the darkness of my nest with my mates and my little boys around me. “Eat babe. You haven’t eaten all day.”
It hadn’t been that long, had it? The last thing I remembered scarfing down was dinner last night and even then, it had been early afternoon before I fucked off to the couch. I reached for the fork and scooped up a healthy serving of noodles and sauce, my stomach starting to churn. It wasn’t even for the food but the onset of an annoying throbbing in my head, bringing back a memory I had stuffed so far down into my consciousness I wished it had stayed there.
I couldn’t have been older than ten or eleven—a time when happiness reined free in my home—but even then I knew that I didn’t like the newest addition to my family.
***
