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The aroma of rich red wine sauce and cheese met my nose as I wandered into the kitchen with a wide smile. My mother turned around with an identical smile, radiating sunshine as she opened her arms and I jumped into them, snuggling into her chest. “How’s your homework, little one?” A giggle fell from my lips as I wriggled in her arms, fingers poking my sides.
“Daddy, stop!” I yelled as I pulled free and ran to the table for dinner. My parents were my best friends and my only friends since I had presented as an Omega so early. My scent hadn’t come in so I was safe for a few more years but I found it easier to hang around the house, away from the rowdy high schoolers that were constantly scouring for their newest fix.
My mother’s scent sweetened as my father stepped up beside her, running his nose along her cheek before they came to the table as well. My father patted my shoulder and crouched at my side, “Hey, so remember when we talked about that boy who needed a family?” I nodded, eager to please my Alphafather. “Well, we wanted to give him a home for a little bit until the authorities figured out where he would be most comfortable.”
I had met the kid once and I wasn’t sure about him. We had shared maybe three words a few weeks ago but knowing that he was going to be in the house with me made me feel… weird. A tendril of discomfort settled in my belly as I kicked my legs beneath the table, trying not to shift in my chair. “Okay,” I said softly.”
My father squeezed my shoulder. “And you remember that’s the guest who is going to come for dinner tonight? He’ll take the room next to ours so that you still have your space.” Again, I nodded but this time it was a little stiffer and I found it hard to keep my smile.
“What’s his name again?” I whispered.
“Michael. He’ll be here in a few minutes.”
I sat perfectly still, chancing a glance at my mother for comfort. I didn’t find it, though. She was still smiling but I realized it was because she was essentially gaining another son. I knew they loved me but for the first time it felt like I was being discarded. And when the dreaded doorbell rang through the hall, I forced myself to get up from the table to see the boy who would be living with us. The stranger in my home.
He seemed innocent, lanky and a few inches taller than me. Where I was pudgy around the edges, like most Omegas, he had a few muscles lining his arms. A sloppy smile sat on his face as he caught my gaze. Something akin to ash met my nose and I knew two things right then.
One, that Michael was an Alpha.
And two? That I wanted that kid nowhere near me.
***
There were many memories I had blocked out as a kid but knowing I had figured it out from the beginning? It just hurt thatmuch worse. A growl ripped from my throat as my fork clattered back to my plate, my head whipping around the room as reality and nightmare meshed together. “I’m going to rip him the fuck apart.”
Joel tensed at my side, “What are you talking about? Michael isn’t anywhere near here. He can’t hurt you.”
The sliver of panic in his voice told me that that might not be true. “I think he already has, more than we know.” How many other things had I blocked out to save myself the torture and pain of remembering what that man put me through? I had never shared my past with my mates and how close Michael had been to taking me. Several times. He’d never fully gotten what he wanted but now I had a feeling that what he desired was very different than the incident from last year. As if his obsession with me wasn’t the whole story.
It took me another moment to calm down and I hated that once again my mates were worried for my mental health. Saying I was ok would only bring about another conversation so I turned back to my plate and began shoveling food into my face. The flavors all melted together and as much as I wanted to enjoy it, I wanted to distract myself more.
“Goddess, Kieran—talk to us. Please.” The pleading note in Ren’s voice was going to break me but how could I give them my nightmares? That wasn’t fair to them. It was bad enough that Isaias was dealing with Michael for me. I choked on a bite of cheesy broccoli, refusing to let the tears gathering in my eyes surface on my cheeks. Damn hormones. Ren was there in a flash, dragging my chair out away from the table and straddling my lap. Joel moved back a step as he cradled our children, my worries calming for the moment. “Kieran, look at me.”
The little Alpha’s hands came up to my chest, one of them stroking down my sternum and resting on the slight curve of my stomach that hadn’t retreated to its normal status. I raisedmy head to meet his eyes, Ren choking on the emotions he was holding back.
“What do you need, Kieran?”
I hated this part, when my mates saw right through my tough exterior, when they forced me to answer my needs rather than bury them with everything else.
Ren waited patiently, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to my sauce covered lips. I swallowed nervously before finally answering.
“I need control.”
In a world where I couldn’t control anything, where everything felt like it was falling apart, I wanted to be able to have that power within these four walls.
Ren grinned at my uncertainty as he kissed me again. “Then take it.”
five
KIERAN
Maybe they should have encouraged me to talk through my problems but fucking my way through them was second best. Especially when Ren’s big beautiful eyes turned a devious shade of black. One quick glance in Joel’s direction told me he was all for this development—but only because I had eaten. I didn’t hesitate to haul Ren up and over my shoulder and stalk toward the nest. He squealed as I palmed his ass, pouring every last emotion into the lust surrounding the both of us rather than focusing on memories I didn’t want to think about.
This was merely a distraction but if I could keep the nightmares at bay for one more night, I was going to.
Ren scrambled into the middle of the nest the moment I put him down and I prowled toward him, yanking his ankle forward so that he slid beneath me. “I’m not going to be gentle, Ren.”
“You never are,” he moaned as I slid a hand beneath his shirt, running my fingers over his soft skin. “Take what you need, Kieran.”
