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He stared at me for a long moment. “Are you going back to work in February or March this year?”
“February, but the more I think about it, the more I want to wait for Valen to open the practice because I’m already exhausted at the idea of running it on my own.”
He tripped on an uneven tile on the sidewalk but quickly composed himself. “She’s not here?” he squeaked.
“No, she went back to visit her sister for the summer.”
He glared at me, standing in the middle of the sidewalk under the blistering sun. “Is that why you are so prickly? Because she’s not around?”
“Is that whyyouare so testy?” I laughed.
“Shut up,” he said with a small smile, his lips hardly lifting from the corner of his mouth. It was barely perceptible, like everything he did, all his gestures. He blended in but stood out at the same time. An odd combination of things, for sure, but it worked.
I smiled at him, looking up to study his face closer. He was poker-faced, not giving anything away but clearly holding on to his secrets. “I know you are hiding something, and I’ll pry it from your lips eventually.”
A third grunt in response, followed by a spark of something—annoyance, probably—in his glare.
The hotel restaurant was practically empty. Only a fewtables by the entrance were occupied. Charlie and I sat towards the end, by the entrance to the kitchen.
“Are you bored yet?” I asked him, knowing damn well that he had been bored since the moment they locked the door to the firm for the summer. He wasn’t a workaholic, per se, but he didn’t do much outside of work and his reading.
“Not yet,” he said, looking around the restaurant. “I’m enjoying the quiet.”
“Aha,” I drawled in reply, not believing a word he said. “What have you been doing?”
“Reading. I went to the city yesterday to pick up a few books.”The usual.He didn’t say it, but I was sure he was thinking it.
“What’s up with Jacinto?” His gaze was fixed on the menu, even though we knew exactly what we would order. We were creatures of habit, Charlie and I. “I haven’t seen him since New Year’s.”
“He went camping.” I shrugged. It wasn’t my thing, but every year since they had finished high school, my youngest brother and his group of friends would go camping to a different spot. A way to travel around the country and explore “the majesty” of it all, as he would say. “He’ll be back by the twentieth.”
“Hmm.”
“Do you ever think Mom and Dad don’t like that I’m a doctor?” The question was out there now. It was the first time I’d spoken about this out loud ever since comingback, but also since leaving for med school. They were supportive, yes, but my father especially treated me differently. Charlie frowned, his thick eyebrows scrunching together in question.
“Where is this coming from, Lu?” His head was angled as he tried to figure out what I meant.
“I just…” I shrugged. “Sometimes it feels like I’m a teenager all over again, you know?” Like when they reminded me to wash my hands after coming back from work or when my father would give me a small lecture about keeping all the windows closed if the A/C was going to be on. Like I didn’t have a medical degree and hadn’t lived on my own for years before moving back to live in their house with them.
“I think it comes from a place of concern,” he replied. His gaze was fixed on me, but I couldn’t look at him. I was embarrassed, a little, because I wasn’t able to do what I intended to do, so I returned home with my tail tucked between my legs and was now doing something I didn’t fully enjoy. “You basically showed up back in town and haven’t discussed it with anyone.” He eyed me cautiously. “Which is fine with me, you know that, but?—”
“I told you,” I interrupted. “I told them too.” My heart was hammering in my chest, trying to take flight because I was still not ready to talk about it, despite Francisco’s presence, and the date coming and going, and time passing. “It wasn’t for me.”
“Luli.” His eyes softened. He hadn’t called me that sincewe were kids, going for the much more formal Lucía more than anything.
“I like it here.” A lie. “I like being back here with everyone, especially now that Santiago is here.” But the truth was that I’d never felt as alone as I did then. Despite being surrounded by my family and friends, despite more of the people I’d grown up with moving back to town soon. Because deep down I wasn’t happy with my career—my calling—and that made the days drag on.Interminables.
“If anything, they are insanely proud of you being a doctor,” he added. “It has absolutely nothing to do with you not being a lawyer.”
Charlie’s words gave me some relief. Knowing, at least, that I wasn’t a huge disappointment to them. I was just a disappointment to myself.
“Let’s order,” he said, lightly changing the topic. “I’m starving.”
“Okay.”
18
FRANCISCO
