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"Get away from me." I push him away and go over to make myself another cuppa.
Getting called in to work isn't ideal, but Muir's down with a gastro bug putting Linus in a serious bind.
Col said he has things under control at home, and Emma's pulled apart our sixty-million-year-old tractor and is fixing it, and she's assured me she's got her murderous impulses under control, which essentially guarantees Col's safety for the next twelve hours, so I've flown in for the morning to lend the guys a hand at the clinic.
I scowl at Fitz. "How do you know I'm having sex?"
"Your face."
My jaw drops. Not because of the answer, but because of the person supplying it.
I spin away from Fitz. "Ryde—if I knew your middle name I'd be adding it in here—Bassingwaithe, did you just first-sass me?"
"I think he did," Fitz says in awe.
"Mate." I crush Ryde in an almighty bear hug. "Welcome to the family."
"Thanks," he wheezes, a little shell-shocked at my over-the-top reaction. Also, I may be squeezing him a tad too hard. But I make no apologies, this is a big deal. After months and months of being reserved and holding back, a little bit of the real Rydehas finally broken through. I love seeing people be true to who they are.
An image of Col screaming at the top of his lungs as I made him come yesterday flickers in my thoughts. Good thing the kids were at school and Em was under a tractor.
"Get back to what we were talking about," Fitz says, jabbing me in the gut.
"What? How to live a happy life with a pin dick? Sorry, mate, don't think there's a cure. You're stuck with it."
Ryde laughs, while Fitz rolls his eyes.
"As much as I'd love to stay and hear the end of this, I've got back-to-back appointments all morning," Ryde says, making his way to the hallway with an added spring in his step. When he's almost out of the room, he swings around, a cocky grin playing on his lips. "Oh, and Wilby?"
"Yeah, mate."
"Since we're family now and everything, I have something to tell you—I've seen your dick and mineisbigger."
My jaw falls open, but I'm not pissed like I normally would be because, you see, there's one thing about Wilby Linfox that Ryde is yet to learn. And that is that Ineverlose. Even with my back against the wall, I will always find a way out.
I hook my thumbs into my belt buckle. "That so?"
"Yeah. I saw it last month."
"We all saw it," Fitz says with a laugh. "Hard not to when you parade around here naked with that custard launcher of yours swinging about all over the place."
"I'm not ashamed of anything. The human body is a wonderful and natural thing." I lift my head defiantly. "But back to Ryde and his claims of a bigger-than-mine cock, I'd like to explore how we all feel about this. Let's start with…" I tap my chin. "Linus?"
"What are you talking about? Linus isn't—" Ryde starts, then squeezes his eyes shut, colour rising on his cheeks. "He's standing right behind me, isn't he?"
I bellow out a laugh. "He sure fucking is."
Ryde ducks his head and races out of the room faster than Col gobbled up the extra steaks Gran had made for him after eating his dinner last night.
Linus looks at Fitz and me. "Do I even want to know?"
"You don't," Fitz says. "Especially when this one over here is deflecting from talking about his sex life."
Linus starts making himself a cup of tea, but then stops. "That doesn't sound right."
"Exactly." Fitz steps in closer to me. "Which makes me think our boy here isn't just having sex, it's deeper than that."
"Really?" Linus pins me with a questioning look. "Is Fitz right? Are you in love with Col?"
