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Because Istillhave that fucking irritating voice in the back of my head badgering me, trying to make me doubt myself and doubt Col. I'm doing my best not to listen to it, to shove it aside and focus on the depth of my feelings.
But then, if my feelings are so strong, why is that tiny voice so persistent?
Nope, nope, nope, I am not going down that path. That little voice is sneaky. It'll do anything to ruin this good thing we've got. I cannot let it win. I have to be stronger. I have to have faith.
Is all love such a mindfuck, or is it just me?
I made Col a promise. Swore my life on it. That's not something I take lightly. I'm a man of my word. I told him I'd find a way to make this whole situation with us all right.
And I will.
Somehow.
Yet to dive into the specifics ofhowto bring it to fruition, but that's going to have to wait for another day because now that the issue of what happens to our farm is settled, I'm moving on to theotherthing I've got to do while in Sydney.
"Thanks again for agreeing to come with me," I say.
"No problem." He chews on the edge of a bit of bacon. "Not exactly sure how I can help with meeting Gus and Tate, but I'll…just be there."
"And that's exactly what I need."
He smiles. "How are you feeling about it? I mean, you could possibly be meeting your biological father today."
"I honestly don't know. So much is happening in my life at the moment that I haven't given it as much thought as I would have otherwise. I know it's potentially a very big deal, and I’m ready to find out what the results of the DNA test are, but after yesterday. After last night…"
Our eyes connect. I smile, and he smiles back.
"Last night was magical."
"The fucking best," I agree. "I'm trying to keep up, but it's hard."
"Totally understandable." He picks up another slice of bacon because, yes, he's eating it like fries. "What do you want the results to be?"
"Hard to say. There's a fifty-fifty chance Gus is my dad."
"He hasn't given you any hints?"
"Nope. I'm assuming he wants to have that convo in person, which makes sense, but I have no idea what they are."
"What time are we meeting them?"
"At twelve for lunch."
Col checks his phone. "That gives us almost three hours. Want me todickstractyou until then?"
I lean back, grinning. "I would fucking love that."
Three and a half hours later, Gus, Tate, Col, and I are enjoying lunch at Icebergs, a fancy restaurant overlooking Bondi Beach.
I've only met them once before, and even though Gus and I have been in touch, I'm happily surprised at how relaxed I feel. We've got a beautiful table with an insane view. Col's happy about that and the wide selection of Aussie steaks on the menu, and the conversation is flowing easily.
If you were looking at us, you'd think we're just four blokes sharing a nice meal—but I keep sneaking glances at Gus, looking for signs, I guess, to indicate whether or not this man is my father.
"How did you guys meet?" Col asks, as we're tucking into our mains.
"Would you believe I was called out to babysit Gus during his wild period?" Tate replies.
"He had a wild period?"
