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"So, I take it the two of you managed to do some talking, too?"
I grin. "Yeah, we did. And thankyoufor our chat yesterday. It helped."
"I'm always here, my love. Whenever you need me."
"That means a lot. I'll definitely be taking you up on it."
I bring out my laptop and respond to a few emails while Polly does her thing in the kitchen. My boss is cool with me working from wherever, as long as it's in an Australian time zone. He also outlined that I'll be expected to do a lot more in-person work, which unfortunately means a lot more flying.
But fuck it. If that's the price I have to pay, I'll do it gladly. I've always flown for work and managed somehow, I'm sure I'll be able to do the same here.
Besides, it's not like I'm flying on a death machine like Wilby flies. You couldn't pay me to get inside one of those. Flying on commercial planes feels a lot safer, and I'll keep repeating that mantra until I maybe start believing it one day.
The day is quiet and uneventful. I get through my work, my thoughts drifting to Wilby, out doing his cattle roundup. I wonder how his day is going.
36
Wilby
This feels like old times.
The excitement, the frenetic tempo, even the birds flocking around us know something's going on.
There's nothing like herding a few thousand head of cattle across the land. And now that Col's back—and here to stay—I can finally relax, breathe, and enjoy what's left of my last mustering season with the fellas.
"You on channel, Linfox?"
I retrieve my radio out of my backpack. "Yeah, Stav. What's up?"
"You blokes all sorted down there?"
I glance over at the two stockmen I'm riding on horseback with today. We pulled over to take a piss and for one of them to have a ciggie. They both nod.
"Yep. Ready to go."
"Cool. We're just refuelling the buggies. We'll push off again in five."
"10-4."
I walk over to Bella, a sturdy bush horse, and give her a gentle scratch on the top of her withers and under her neck. Every stockman chooses their own horse, and I've been with Bella for the last four years. She's got great instincts, knowing what to do before I do sometimes.
We're taking a three-tier approach with today's run—choppers to bring the cows out from wherever they are, bikes and AV buggies to round them up into manageable mobs and herd them in the direction of the pen we want to get them into, and us three horse riders to ensure the herd's heading in the right direction and deal with any breakaways.
The sound of dirt bikes and buggies roars in the air as the others join us. "All right. Let's fucking do this!" Stav yells as he leads a pack of four vehicles away, and we start up again. "Stay safe, fellas."
The chopper lifts off to get ahead of us, and I give Bella a pull to take off, slowly at first before breaking out into a steady gallop. The warm air hits my face, and I smile.
For the first time in my life, I feelwhole.
Like I can have everything.
I can live in the middle of fucking nowhere, stay close to my family, do a job I love,andbe with the man I love.
Col says this is what he wants, and I have to believe him. I do believe him… Almost. I amsooofucking close to being there and believing him. He's saying all the right things. That I can take my time. That he's not going anywhere. That he wants his actions to speak louder than his words.
These last niggling, annoying-as-hell reservations I have are all on me. They're my issues based on what's happened in the past, but I can't let them destroy my future. I have to focus on the ninety-nine point nine nine nine percent of me that believes him, and do everything I can to ignore that final piece of remaining doubt that's holding on for dear life and hope and pray that one day it decides to fuck off and leave me in peace.
Col will not hurt me. Col will not hurt me.
