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Ireallydidn’t like how it had felt when he’d told me I couldn’t wear my dress anymore. I kept replaying the way he’d looked at me when he’d said it. Like he’d been embarrassed for me that I couldn’t fit my body into proper clothing.
It wasn’t like he paid me a whole hell of a lot. Until I passed the six-month mark, I was a contract employee—not officially hired—which meant my salary was a fraction of what it would be.
That was still two weeks away. I’d been saving every penny I could, but with my expenses mounting daily, it hadn’t been easy.
I walked into the home I hadn’t wanted and kicked myself for the thousandth time for allowing Liam to talk me into buying it.
At the time, we’d been riding a high from building houses for impoverished communities in Costa Rica, and a project of our own had sounded like the right move. Liam hadmadeit sound like the right move.
The plan had been to buy the house with mostly cash—mine—take out a short-term loan—in my name—remodel it ourselves, and flip it for a big profit.
I got pregnant the night we got the keys.
And nothing had been going in the right direction since.
The empty walls echoed when I closed the front door. I wasn’t supposed to be here. This should have been a short way station before embarking on our next adventure.
I felt like Donald Rockford—in debt up to my eyeballs, staring down the barrel of a gun, bracing for it to go off.
Suddenly, standing in my foyer, a heavy bag of used clothing clutched tight in my hand, swollen ankles, and a baby coming at the very worst time, it was all too much.
I had never felt so alone in my life—and I’d grown up with a lifetime of loneliness.This, though…this was different. It was bone-deep, panic-inducing, soul-rending loneliness. My fight fled me, flowing from my heart and exiting from the tips of my shaking fingers.
There was no giving up, but I wished I could have.
Tears welled and spilled over, and I let them since there was no one here to see.
Shuffling to the couch, I fell on it with no grace, wincing when the springs dug into my backside. My tears came harder then. I couldn’t even flop on my fucking couch without being reminded just how miserable my current situation was.
Liam had to come back. That was all there was to it. He needed to be here to give me terrible massages and let me cry on his shoulder. He’d be slow about it, but at least he’d make some progress on the house and I could fire the contractor I really couldn’t afford.
I called him, not giving any thought to what time it was in Australia. It didn’t matter. I needed him.
“Hey, babe,” he answered. “How are you?”
“Liam,” I quivered.
“Kit? Are you crying?” He sounded somewhat alarmed, but more than that, he sounded foggy with sleep. Given it was the middle of the day in Sydney, he should have been wide awake. He always did love taking naps.
“I need you to come back. I can’t—”
“Aw, Kit,” he drawled softly. “What’s wrong, babe? Did you have a rough day at work?”
“It’s always rough, Liam.” I scrubbed hard at my face, angry at myself for falling apart. It wasn’t an option for me. I had to keep swimming. “I don’t know about the contractor you hired. If anything, the house looks worse, and the loan is due in a few months. We have to get this place sold. I just—”
“Kit, babe. You can’t get worked up like this. It’s not good for the baby. You know that.”
I sucked in a shuddering breath, trying to calm down. “When are you coming back? I need you here.”
“You’ve never needed me, babe. You’re just having a rough go tonight. The Kit I met in Mexico walked around with a hammer on her belt, bossing all the big men around the construction sites. You’re a badass. You don’t need anyone.”
The Kit he’d met had been twenty-two and having fun playing construction worker in a beautiful country, feeling like I was saving the world.
I wasn’t that Kit anymore.
I was afraid, with more responsibilities than I’deverwanted.
And he wasn’t answering my question.
