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The office was much like his bedroom, decorated with minimalist art. There was a huge desk, and behind it was a tall glass window that gave a clearer view of the city.
Where I should begin, I had no idea. Everything seemed to be so neatly in place that I felt he would know if I touched anything. I just had to remember the exact way he kept them. Inside the drawer, I found a quite big gun. I had no idea he kept them in his room too. But he was belonged to the Mafia world, what Mafia lord wouldn't hide guns everywhere?
There were bundles of cash, old photographs of him and an older woman. His mother, perhaps. There was an old diary, whose first page seemed to have been ripped off. It was the only page where something was written on. And then beside the desk was another tall shelf of books. So far, nothing was implicating anything bad.
He left his laptop here, too. It would be crossing a line to check it over, but I did not mind this time. The most he could do was get mad and throw me out, and frankly, that was not such a bad idea.
I opened the laptop and was surprised to find it unlocked. He had probably left it because he didn’t do much work on it. He also owned a MacBook, and that’s what he used most of the time, I had noticed.
Snooping around was something that excited me more than it should. Especially when the person whose stuff I was poking around was one as dangerous as Angelo.
The first thing I went through was his gallery; it was a move I regretted as soon as I made it. I could not believe what I was seeing. The images were very disturbing, and screamed of violence. There were guns and photos of men being tortured—or at least that was what it looked like. But what grabbed my attention the most was seeing the photos he took with other women. My heart stopped as I flipped through them. Some were nude photos of the women, in all sorts of poses and lingerie... Nothing could have prepared me for that. Tears began to roll down my eyes as I flipped from one photo to the next. I could almost see Benny laughing at me in the corner of my mind. Was this what he meant when he said I had no idea what I was getting into?
There were videos, too. I felt sick to my bones. How could he do this? Was I just another notch in his belt? To think that I was being used! Did he keep the other girls against their will, too, or did they stay because they wanted to?
I hated how much I was crying and how freely the tears flowed down my cheeks.
I clicked on the video, and it was a sex video. Of course. She was blonde and had the body of a model. He made a video of her pleasuring herself with a dildo. As angry as I was, I could not bring myself to stop the video. I grew warm between the legs, watching her stroke herself like that, listening to her soft moans. Unaware of my own self, I began to touch myself, moaning as she moaned, too. Her moans grew louder, still soft. My left leg hung on the desk, as I pushed two fingers into myself. My head was exploding with emotions.
I closed my eyes, and for a minute, all I could hear was her moans, rising and falling as she pleasured herself. I’ve never been a fan of masturbation, but seeing this video when I wasn’t supposed to really turned me on. And I needed something to will away the thoughts of Angelo with other women. The girl was leaning towards her climax, and as her moans grew louder, so did mine. Tears were still running down my cheeks, filled with anger, and wild with hunger. In my mind, I could feel Angelo’s hard dick in my hands; it made my throat go dry.
I hated him, and I wanted him.
A fresh, stronger surge of anger overcame me when we both came, like I was snapped back to reality. It was still hard to comprehend how shameless it was of him to keep the photos and pictures of the different women he had had affairs with. So, when he finally decided to let me go, he would take photos of me and add to this smutty gallery? It disgusted me beyond measure to think of it.
I slammed the laptop close without bothering to shut it down. At this point, I did not care if he found out that I had been snooping around his things. Maybe if he got angry enough, he would finally let me go.
Just as I was about to leave, my eyes fell on the pile of documents beside his laptop. I rolled my eyes, sure that I would find more aggravating information inside of it. Frankly, I was not sure how much I could handle without losing my mind. But I guess I was in for a surprise.
The documents were different receipts and invoices of his donations to orphanage homes, churches, and different individuals. Why would he leave such important papers just lying around?
And there weren’t just any kind of donations, they werehugedonations. The kind of money I had never made on a paycheck, would never dream of making. And he was giving it all away for free to orphanages and friends? Just a minute ago, I had found nude photos of women in his laptop, and now there were receipts of his donations and his benevolence? How could he handle both sides of him so well, and still keep it all under a cool façade? My head was hurting just thinking about it. How could one man be the devil and an angel simultaneously? Everything about him was such a puzzle, and it drove me crazy just trying to figure it out.
“I thought I told you this place was off-limits.”
I looked up in shock to find Angelo standing by the doorway, dressed in a different suit than the one he left in. His shirt underneath was stained with a small red patch. He had crept up on me so quietly, and now I was begging my heart to resume its normal beat. His eyes were dim and fiery, like he wanted to burn me with his gaze, and in that very moment, he looked different -- angry, older. I guess this was the devil part of him.
“Damn you and your stupid rules.”
I had no idea why I said it, but I did, and I could not take it back. I brushed past him angrily into the bedroom, quite surprised that he did not try to stop me. Or perhaps, he was too stunned to try. He just stared at me like he could not believe I had said those words to him. Well, I had. And I did not regret them.
About five minutes later, I was hiding in my room, and I heard the pounding on the door.
“Maria, open up the damn door!Maria!”
I could feel the thunder in his voice, and a part of me was frightened of what he would do if I opened the door, so I just laid there, rolled up in bed, crying. Why was I so hurt? He hadn’t told me that he loved me or anything; we were not in a relationship. He was keeping me against my will, for fuck’s sake! It shouldn’t sting as much as it did to find out about his affairs.
“Maria, I said open the damn door! For God’s sake, open it up. You shouldn’t have gone through my stuff. I asked you to stay away. Now open up before I get even more angry with you.”
I ignored him and threw the duvet over my head, blocking my ears with my fingers. I could only keep this up for so long. Knowing him, he wouldn’t mind breaking down the door. Well, that was the only way he was going to get in, because I sure as hell was not going to open the door for him.
There was a sudden silence, and I heard his footsteps retreating until they finally faded away.
I sighed in relief, but I was hurt. He didn’t even care to stay for even five minutes. But then, who was I to expect him to beg for even a minute, when it was obvious that he could have any girl, he wanted in the world? How foolish of me to be here.
My eyes were hurting from too much crying, and I was sure they must look red and swollen by now. I couldn’t afford to let him see me like this.
There were no ice cubes inside the small fridge in the room, but cold water would help with the swelling anyway. So, I took a bottle with me to the bathroom and poured it over my face, numbed by the chilliness. Angrily, I tore the dress off my body and left the shower running, cascading over my tired body. The tears had stopped pouring down my face, but now I felt nauseous.
