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Chapter 28
Jules keeps her trade stall visit short, consulting the vendor map to avoid seeing Cameron at Infinity’s stand as she locates Samantha’s bottle opener and finds James’s stall to load up on pamphlets. She asks him for a raincheck on the coffee, since she’s not in the right head space to talk about job prospects when she’s busy figuring out what exactly she’s going to say to Cameron.
She still hasn’t messaged Cat and Tori about what’s happened, despite them checking in with her. Hopefully, after what she’s about to do, she’ll have something more definite to say. Either ‘we’re dating’ or ‘he never wants to see me again’. There won’t be a middle ground for them after her confession.
She still has to do it.
Her ant friends take up residence across her back and shoulders as she stands in front of Cameron’s room, taking breath after breath, waiting to feel ready, for the ants to disappear or her pulse to not be quite so fast. There’s no feeling ready for this though. Proposing to Todd barely prepared her. The stakes seem so much higher now, though they’ve only had four days of being together.
She still wants more, and she hopes she gets it, but equally as important is making sure Cameron sees his value and worth. Understands she wasn’t treating him like Braden did. For her sake, yes, but more so for his.
She knocks on his door and holds her breath.
It only takes a few seconds and then he’s there, framed in the doorway wearing grey slacks and a navy polo. His hair is a mess and there’s stubble on his jaw again. He looks gorgeous. He looks weary.
‘Jules.’ The door closes a fraction and his eyes narrow.
‘Hi.’ Her pulse ticks up again.
This is where she should start talking, or blurt out ‘I’m falling for you’, but the urge to fill in awkward silences has fled from her. Maybe the ants crawling over her skin have carried it away, along with all the phrases she’d planned while walking back to the hotel.
Cameron’s gaze hovers at her ear. ‘What’re you doing here?’
She swallows. Her fingers start tapping the side of her thighs. ‘I want to talk. I don’t think you meant it when you said it was just sex to you.’
‘Don’t worry, it was good sex.’ His caramel eyes focus on hers. They’re so hard, none of the melting warmth they normally possess. ‘But it didn’t mean anything.’
Her blood heats, chasing away the cold she’s carried since her conversation with Matteo. She feels better equipped to deal with the conversation, can see behind the smoke and mirrors. Cameron’s pushing her to get a reaction he wants, some kind of justification for his running away.
She doesn’t buy it, and she won’t let him take away what it meant to her. ‘What about last night? We shared something special. It was deeper than sex.’
He averts his gaze and swallows roughly. Has she struck a nerve?
She tries pushing against it again. ‘Matteo told me about Braden. The full story.’
There’s a pause, long enough for hope to start growing in her chest that Cameron’s going to listen to her, but when his head angles back to her, anger is on his face.
‘That wasn’t his story to tell.’ His jaw clenches and his eyes glint like steel.
He goes to shut the door but Jules slams her hand against it and locks her elbow.
‘I know it wasn’t. I would have preferred it coming from you, but you’ve been hurt and you’re hiding and Matteo was only trying to help me see where you were coming from. He doesn’t think you meant it either.’
‘Because he’s a romantic.’
‘No, because he’s your friend and he had a backstory that I didn’t.’ Jules wedges the door further open. ‘But now I do and I see you clearer than before, and I get—I hope I get—why you’re running from me.’
His eyebrows lift. ‘You still think I’m running?’
Her heart jumps into her throat at the incredulous tone. But she has to believe he is.
‘You told me yourself that’s what you do. I think our arrangement reminded you of your relationship with Braden. Sex focused. And because that didn’t end well, and because you worked together, you’re running away from us so it doesn’t have the chance to go bad too.’
Her hands are sweaty and her back itches. Remembering to breathe is less a priority than getting the words out. ‘So sue me, or call me naive or a hopeless romantic, but knowing that, it makes me … I don’t think you meant what you said the other night.’ Her shoulders bunch up. ‘At least I … really hope you didn’t.’
Cameron’s gaze drops to the rise and fall of her chest. His fingers tighten around the door but he doesn’t try to shut it. It’s a small encouragement, but Jules will take what she can.
‘You’ve had your fling,’ he says, voice hollow. ‘Why should it matter?’
