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“Why would anything we do be stupid?” The corner of my lip turns up. “We’re adults.”
His chuckle’s low and cocky. “That’s true. But we have no idea what may happen tomorrow, and most important of all is that you feel safe. Wanted. Treasured.”
“I do feel all of those things.”
He’s practically purring when he says, “Good. But not good enough. Not yet.” When he lowers his head, slowly, his mouth barely brushes against mine. “I thought I might try something.”
He kisses me again, but this time, I feel something brushing against my body all over. Everything. Every cell. Every single separate part of my body shivers in delight.
“What was that?” I ask.
It happens again, this time with a little more pressure. “It’s a caress,” he whispers against my ear. “Water’s an amazing thing, isn’t it? Depending on its movement, depending on its volume, the pressure can change. And there’s water just about everywhere.”
Alexei may have the power to dam up a river, the power to tear someone apart one cell at a time, and the power to redirect even rainstorms to bring water to drought areas. But he can also use water expertly in ways I never imagined, and boy does he.
“I love you,” I whisper, late into the night. “I didn’t think I would ever be able to say that to a man.”
Alexei brushes his hand across mine. “Why not?”
“Because it means that I trust you.” I snuggle closer to him, my head resting on his chest. “After my dad died and my stepdad was a miserable wretch, I didn’t think I could ever trust a man. To love someone, you must first believe he’ll keep you safe.” I prop myself up on one arm. “I believe that you will.”
“My love for you worries me a little.” Alexei looks up at me. “All my life, I’ve known that I had to put Russia first. Everything else must follow my duty to Russia. Tomorrow, we’re going to face the scariest foe I’ve ever imagined, and I need to be as strong as I can to defend my people.”
“I’m worried about it, too.”
He traces one finger across the top of my lips, and he shakes his head. “I’m not worried about Leonid or those idiots Mikhail and Boris.”
I frown. “Then what?”
“I’m worried,” he says, “because for the first time in my life, I care more about you than I do about anything else, including Russia. If I have to choose, I don’t think I’ll make my father very proud.” His voice drops to the merest whisper. “If I have to choose tomorrow, I’ll choose you.”
30
Once, when I was in secondary school, I was supposed to get an academic award. I never had the best grades, but my English teacher chose me as the top student. After the awards ceremony, there was a banquet.
I didn’t want to admit it, but I was pretty excited.
Mirdza went every year, almost, but I had never been invited before. Only when it was time to go did I realize that I had nothing to wear. The flier they sent home said I was supposed to wear ‘business dress,’ whatever that means. My mom came out of her room wearing her one dress—it was black. Short. And low cut.
It made me uncomfortable.
I didn’t want to take my mom when she looked like that, but I looked even worse. All I had were pants and shirts, and none of them looked very good either. They were all worn and threadbare.
“I don’t want to go,” I told my mom.
She insisted I had to. “It’s the only time you’ve ever earned this, and it’ll probably be the last.” She pointed at the door. “Now, march.”
When we reached the school, I felt even more out of place, because every other girl was wearing a dress. None of the boys’ pants had worn spots or a hole in the knee, either. None of them were wearing the same beat-up sneakers they always wore to school. I survived that dinner, but I didn’t enjoy it.
In spite of the gorgeous red dress Alexei ordered for me, in spite of the lovely red pumps, and in spite of the stunning red stone hanging around my neck, I have the same feeling as I had that night when we exit the car Leonid sent for us. My heart hammers in my chest as I walk up the steps to the ridiculous mansion he’s occupying in the last few days before he starts ruling Russia.
I feel out of place, poor, and useless. My fingers keep reaching for my necklace, as if it’s going to somehow save me from the anxiety I’m feeling.
“Try not to draw attention to it,” Alexei whispers. “The last thing we want is for Leonid to notice what you’re wearing.”
He’s right. He’s always right.
Alexei takes my hand then. “It’s going to be fine.”
