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Chapter 10 - Quinn
“Girl! Tell me everything!” Paige hasn’t even been on the phone for one minute, and I already feel lighter just talking to her.
“What’s there to tell?”
“Quinn, I swear I will drive my ass all the way down to you in order to get the scoop, so tell me what's been happening. All you told me was that the mail-order guy you've been talking to is the FATHER of your DAUGHTER. That's all! No explanation, no context. Do I mean so little to you that you would keep me in the dark?! I need more information!” I laugh at how wound up she is getting; my smile is so big it might permanently stay like that. She has always been able to make me smile when life is hard or when I'm sad; that is something I appreciate about our friendship. So I tell her what she wants to hear—I tell her everything. The vision, the pack, what Eli’s dad said…the kiss.
“Damn, girl. That’s a lot. You really don't do anything small, do you? You always have to have some epic story. You know it's OK to have a somewhat boring life.”
“If it was up to me, I would have met a boring shifter and lived my life in peace; the goddess has other plans, it seems. Besides, you said it's not healthy to have a boring life; we need adventure to feel alive. Anyway, Eli’s mom is pretty amazing, and Eli is exceptional with Maddie. Ugh, which is super frustrating, because I just don’t want to like him. I know how stupid that sounds, but it hurt so much, Paige, and I can’t just forget it ever happened.”
“Who says you have to forget?”
“...No one, I guess. He has apologized a couple times, actually, and he has been working really hard to show me that he means what he says. That he won’t be leaving us. I’m just afraid that forgiving him will undermine how I felt and what I experienced. Also, forgiving him means that I have to forget the pain."
“Forgiveness isn’t for the other person, Quinn; it's for you. Don't forgive him because he necessarily deserves it, but because you deserve peace. Now, that being said, forgiving him is one thing; handing him your heart is an entirely different thing.” I release the tension in my shoulders as I take a sip of my coffee.
“You’re right. I know you’re right. But Paige, I’m scared. My hurt is the only shield I have, and if it falls, I’m afraid he will get in. It’s already been so hard. I want him all the time, the damn bond pulling at me to complete it. It doesn't help that he does all these loving gestures; it's like a glimpse into what I could have with him, but I’m afraid to take the jump. On top of that, I know Jake is out there somewhere planning to get to me, and I can’t do a thing but trust Eli.”
“Oh, sweetie, I understand. I do. This has been a whirlwind of an experience. But right now, all that's important is that you and Maddie are safe. As for Eli, only you know if you want to complete the bond. Staying this close to him, however, is definitely going to make it harder to resist him.”
“What if I don’t want to resist anymore…what if I want to feel the way I did that first time, to feel love and passion?” I whisper.
“Then do it, sweetie. Sometimes, we don’t always know why Seluna gifted us the mate she did and why circumstances like yours happen, but maybe this is where you need to be right now. Plus, Maddie is happy, you said, and you feel less stressed with the burden of raising her. And don't think I am on Eli's side, because you are my ride-or-die girl, but I think there is something to what he said about his experience. I'm not saying what he did was right, but it sounds like he never wanted to leave you in the first place.”
She’s right; there is more to think about. It's true, though—the burden of raising Maddie on my own has lessened. Heck, I haven’t slept so well in years. Being in Eli's home is comfortable; being with Eli is natural. I don't know if that's the bond or spending more time together. Being here is showing me what my life could be like with him.
“Thanks, Paige. I appreciate you listening.”
“Of course! What are best friends for!?”
“Now tell me, what's been happening in the city?”
“Ugh nothing. I went on a date with this nurse from the hospital. He was sweet and cute. One of the old ladies I was doing physio with told me I should date her cute nurse.” She laughs.“she and her friends orchestrated a whole meet-cute encounter just so he could ask me out.”
“Oh my gosh, that is so adorable! Did you like him?”
“Sure, he was nice enough. Has a passion for his job and is kinda funny, but…”
“He’s not a shifter.”
“Yeah. I know some people have mated with humans, but I’m just not sure that’s what I want. I mean, shifters are hunky with all those muscles, you know. I am more and more tempted to try out the mail-order app. Even though your experience wasn’t exactly ideal, maybe I could find me a shifter who will fall head over heels for me. Then I can be a love-sick puppy like you!”
“I am not a love-sick puppy,” I mutter. “OK, Paige, I gotta go; Eli says he wants to take me out on a date or something this afternoon, and I need to get ready.”
“Ooh la la! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Which is nothing. You literally do everything.”
“Exactly! OK, give sweet pea a kiss from Auntie Paige!”
“I will.”
“Love ya! Bye!”
After hanging up with Paige, I get ready for my date. Eli said we would be doing something on pack land, so it’s nothing fancy. I’m really nervous, but also really excited! This is the first time Eli and I will be alone without Maddie somewhere close by. I can’t deny that being alone with him is exciting. I hope I don’t do something I might regret or that will hurt me down the line. But Eli keeps showing me he wants to fight for this, going to bat for me in front of the Elders and other pack members. Maybe I should give this a real shot; I won’t know unless I try, I guess.
Darlene and Brad show up with Eli just before our date, and my walls shoot back up. I hadn't expected to see Brad here, especially after what he said a few days ago. I figured he wouldn’t want anything to do with Maddie or me. But he doesn’t look hostile today; in fact, he looks rather sheepish. Maddie makes a run for Darlene as they come into the house.
