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I wanted to stay in the darkness forever. Floating where nothing existed. Not my past, my present or a possibility of the future. I was so done with everything.
Which meant, of course, I was waking up.
I swam into consciousness, the alarm near my head beeping with increasing frequency as I struggled to make sense of the void I seemed to be trapped in. It was like running through molasses. Everything felt hot and sticky and uncomfortable.
“Another heat spike,” a low voice murmured, the tone gravelly with concern.
A sob caught behind my lips, pressing against my chest. My fingers twitched at my sides.
“Hazel? Hazel, it’s going to be okay,” a new voice chimed in, the soft voice trembling with worry.
Managing to crack one eye open, I hissed at the bright lights above and tried to bury myself in blankets. But all I had was a thin sheet and arms that didn’t seem to want to move.
“The lights!” The second voice’s cry was sharp. A second later, the light stabbing through my closed eyelids was gone. The sound of a curtain being yanked across a metal rod rang through the air.
“Okay, that should be better now. Take a sip of water.”
I didn’t want to, but my mouth moved reflexively when a straw was pressed between my lips. Cold liquid filled my mouth, numbing the dry heat that seemed to be cooking me from the inside out. It felt so good on my tongue that I had to force myself to swallow the now-warm liquid.
Then I tried opening my eyes again. Blinking away some of the grit, I looked around to see Isla and Dr. Labine on either side of me. Both looked troubled, and there was a sheen of tears in Isla’s eyes that made my insides feel raw.
“What?” I finally managed to rasp out.
Isla took my hand. “Hazel, we got your blood work back.”
Dr. Labine cleared his throat. “It would seem that your heat cycle was incomplete.”
I stared blankly. There was a way for a heat cycle to be incomplete? So, what? My uterus hadn’t studied hard enough for the test and walked out before answering all the questions?
“Your estrus levels are still dangerously high. This isn’t typical of omegas. Did your mother have difficult heats?” Dr. Labine pressed.
A frown wrinkled my brow. “My mother never had heats. My parents were betas. I thought I was, too, until… Well, until I turned eighteen and started smelling.”
The technical term for an omega was perfuming. A pretty word to cover up the fact that we started stinking up a room with a powerful scent that alphas, and even some betas, went batshit crazy for.
Dr. Labine’s jaw went slack for a moment. “Oh, my.”
That ratcheted up my pulse. When doctor’s looked alarmed, that generally wasn’t good. “What? Why?”
Isla shot him a reproachful look, and he quickly masked his shock.
“Beta-born omegas often have more… difficult heat cycles,” Dr. Labine said carefully. “Truthfully, I’ve never even seen a beta-born omega in all my years. They’re somewhat of an urban legend.”
“I can assure you,” I gritted out, “I’m real.”
He gave me a solemn glance. “Hazel, I can give you all the medical facts, but the truth is, you’ll need an alpha to help you through your heat.”
My heart slammed against my chest hard enough to break bone. “What about suppressants?”
He nodded quickly, swallowing hard. “Suppressants aren’t an option during an active heat. Part of the reason it’s called a heat is because of the fevers that can spike it. Those fevers would essentially cook the synthetic hormones suppressants are made of. We can give you some approved medications to slow the progression of your heat, but eventually you’ll succumb.”
I stared at my lap, my eyes roving down to my legs twitching under the thin sheet. “I don’t want an alpha. I just want to…” Did I even know what I wanted anymore?
Once upon a time I’d had dreams. A plan for my future. It involved college, a career, and finding a husband one day, on my time. Not an alpha, and definitely not a pack.
But all of that went out the window when Uncle Henry forced me into a cult, and I presented as an omega. Uncle Henry had given all my parents’ money to the High Alpha, so I knew I had nothing. And even if I had the funds to go to college, now that I was an omega, I’d need a pack to sponsor me because god forbid omegas be allowed unaccompanied on a college campus.
Panic swelled in my chest, cutting off my air. This was all too much.
