AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don’t want to lose her.”
“Neither do I. Which is why you should help me.”
She sighed. “You aren’t going to let go of this, are you?”
I didn’t answer. As I said, no was not an option.
“I need time. I can’t think with you around all the time.”
“How much?”
“A month, two months…”
“Not going to happen. A week.”
“That’s not enough…”
“A week is all you get,” I said tightly.
“Fine.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
DIVYA
Bastard. He took away my peace of mind.
I tossed and turned in my bed. It was late. A glance at the clock read half-past two. I let a groan wash through me and buried my head under the pillow.
Sleep. I want to sleep.
My sheets were all tangled around my legs, keeping me prisoner, just like my freaking mind.
I flopped back onto my back. To-do lists. That always calmed me down. I needed to email my friends back in England; saying what exactly? Hi, my boss fake proposed? Not really. What did I have to do tomorrow… today …? I needed to ask Armando for new nappies for Cora, empty the dryer, stock up on milk powder… Crap.
I had loaded the washing machine but not switched it on because I wanted to add the underwear I was wearing. Which I was still wearing, and the washing machine, was still not switched on.
I groaned and covered my head with my duvet. I had to go down to the basement now. I didn’t have a clean pair for tomorrow, and I didn’t want Rosa to empty the washing machine with my dirty knickers. I didn’t want to disrespect her like that.
Grumbling to no one in particular, I got out of bed. Everyone would be asleep. If they were awake, they were playing with the devil. Antonio had come home and gone straight to bed, even without dinner. I would know because I listened to his footsteps from the entrance hall to his bedroom, past mine. Always pausing before mine. It wasn’t my imagination anymore.
He was giving me space. For the last five days, he had kept out of my way. I wished he would vanish forever. Out of my sight and my mind. I felt like a liar, wishing for things I didn’t want.
Creaking my door open, I slowly made my way downstairs, feeling my way around till I got to the basement.
No doubt, a decision had to be made. I had wanted a marriage just like my parents.’ Perhaps even with a wild love story like theirs. How beautiful it had been. Their story. When my dad sacrificed his entire family for my mum. It was maybe because of that or despite that. They ended up building their own nuclear family with me. Everything revolved around them. They treasured each other, just like they did me.
But no matter how much I wanted to replicate, I wanted to keep their house more. I never wanted to let go of the memories in that house. One day when I was strong enough, I wanted to return there. Then I could relive those days with them. Dad trying to cook a traditional Indian dish while Mum ran around, cleaning up after him, complaining about the mess but secretly enjoying it, their board game nights, or morning coffee arguments.
But it was becoming increasingly difficult to hold onto that home. My current financial situation was despicable. Living here, I didn’t have the cost of my apartment, which I had sublet. But even with that and my income, I was barely paying for the final years of the mortgage of my parents’ home, let alone saving for my studies. Try as I might, I couldn’t replace both my parents’ incomes while scrabbling to save for my studies.
It also broke my heart to leave Cora. One day I would have to. This marriage, no matter how practical he made it sound, would not last for years, like my parents’ had. I just didn’t want that day to be now. It would hurt less when I was stronger. I was sure of it. Just not now.
Am I really thinking of doing this?
I got out of my underwear and tried to figure out how to switch on the machine. Every time, I forgot how the damn thing worked, and the Italian words on it didn’t help either.
I switched on a button and waited for it to start up. I should have changed out of Adam’s shirt. Then I could have stuffed it in as well.
