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“The fuck they are.”
“Not me. But they will. Bowie, Boomer, and Boner.”
I blink, seriously questioning my decision to re-friend this guy. And he seems to be picking up my intensifying vibe, because he takes another look at my phone and points to the screen. “So cute though. Look at that face.”
“That’s better.”
* * *
Lara
Ben: How you doing this morning?
It’s nine thirty a.m. and I’ve been up for about an hour. Warm, golden sunlight is streaming in through the windows, and I’m tucked into the corner of the couch in my loungiest weekend wear with Zamboni snuggled against my hip. My laptop is open, my coffee is hot, and I can still feel this man on every single part of me.
I bite my lip.
Me: So good.
Ben: Now I’m thinking about the way you said that last night. ??
Me too. And all the reasons he gave me to say it.
Is it getting hot in here?
Ben: How’s my boy?
Me: Perfect. We played for a while, had a little walk, and now he’s curled up beside me.
Ben: Tell me you’re still in my bed. No, show me. Pic pls.
I laugh, imagining his desperate face. Then snap a selfie at an angle that includes both of us and my makeshift workstation.
Ben: Yeah, that’s almost as good as the naked version I was imagining. Your laptop was there. Obviously.
This guy.
Ben: Sleep okay?
Better than I have in years.
I don’t typically sleep, sleep with the guys I go out with, no matter how far the date actually goes. I tried it a couple times, but it always felt forced. Uncomfortable. Like I was counting down the minutes until it was polite to either leave or gently hint that they leave. Nothing like those few times I fell asleep with Ben all those years ago. And I didn’t like that my mind always seemed to make the comparison.
Not so now.
Me: I did. You?
Dots bounce on the screen, then disappear. Return.
Ben: No regrets?
Wouldn’t that be nice.
I regret a lot of things. I regret every minute I tried to deny this was coming. I regret fighting what suddenly feels like it was inevitable. Most of all though, I regret not working harder to hold on to my friendship with this man, no matter how hard it was watching him move on.
Me: Not about last night.
My phone rings within seconds.
