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She turned in his arms to look up at him. “I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t a little outrageous.”
He chuckled at that, but then he sighed, and she felt him swallow. “My past is a bit…darker.”
“You can tell me anything, Bale,” she said, using the words that had encouraged her to talk.
“I spent most of my life either in foster care or the Navy,” he said. “The Navy was better.”
Her chest got tight just from the tone of his voice. She wanted details, but she didn’t want to push too hard. “What happened to your parents?”
He didn’t say anything for the longest time. “They died in a car accident when I was two.” His voice was strained.
Oh damn, he had been so young. She sat up so she could face him more fully. She stared at him, her heart heavy in her chest. She just sensed by the tightness in his voice, by the rigidity of his body that this wasn’t only going to be about neglect or abuse. This was going to be about stripping away a person’s pride and dignity. “What happened to you?”
He shifted and looked out to the ocean. “Everything and nothing,” he whispered. He got up and headed for the ocean, ran into the surf, and dove underwater. She rose moments later and followed him out. The water was warm against her skin, liquid and refreshing as a barrier from the heat. She swam to him in the shallow water. He was just sitting in the crystal-clear turquoise as it flowed over him in small lapping waves.
“If I’m outrageous, you’re very mysterious. But if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay.”
“No, not really. How can I be close to someone, something I’ve wanted for so long, when I’m not willing to put myself out there? This isn’t just with you, Maddy. It’s with my team and most of our discord has been my fault. I love them. I do, but I’ve been afraid to share my past with them because?—”
“You’re ashamed like me?”
“No, because I’m so different from them,” he answered roughly. “From you, too.” He bent his head and rubbed his eyes, and she had to wonder if it was the salt or his emotions. Either way, she felt so protective of him.
“None of that matters. None of it.” She hugged him, her insides shaky.
He hugged her back as she slid easily onto his lap. “Most of it is a blur from about two through ten. I was shuttled from foster home to foster home. Sometimes, I wouldn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. I’d get yanked out of school by my social worker who was accompanied by two cops. I never understood the cops. Did they expect me to fight back? Protest? I was a kid, but it always made me feel as if I was some kind of criminal.” He paused, his voice soft with recollection as he added quietly, “Then I got placed with Sandy and his wife.”
Maddy watched him, feeling as if he had gone somewhere she couldn’t follow. Unsettled, she shivered against a sudden chill and used the sound of her voice to draw him back. “What happened with them?”
Shark gave a little shrug, snagging a lock of her wet hair. “I don’t know. One day, there was my social worker and a cop. Next thing I knew, I was removed from their care.” He fingered her hair. “The worst thing about that placement was that I loved those people. I was there for five years, and I didn’t want to go, but I had no choice.”
The heaviness in Maddy’s heart thickened as dread settled in, and she felt bereft for him, for that kid who had lost his parents all over again. Her stomach churning, she watched him, knowing he was going to tell her, knowing he was going to be forced to relive it all over again. She made herself relax, to stop the words that would halt his recounting, to suggest to him that they should think of better times, go for a swim, enjoy the ocean and the sunshine. She fought against her habit of wanting to make things better. This was his journey, and he chose to tell her about his past. This was his gift of trust.
His hand dropped down to her forearm, and he sent circles absently around and around her skin. She could sense the avoidance in him. When he finally continued, his voice was barely audible. “They told me they never put up a fight. Just handed me my garbage bag full of my belongings, and I went to a group home.”
“Garbage bag?”
“Yeah,” he scoffed. “That’s what they gave us for our belongings, a bag used for garbage. It made me feel like I was nothing. I didn’t even warrant a suitcase or a real bag.”
Shark shifted, drawing her closer, and she was thankful for that as her heart broke for that neglected, lonely kid he’d been, showing even more how much he was letting her in. She focused on his face—the hard, drawn angles speaking of his pain.
He remained immobile for a moment, then his fingers started caressing her again. Feeling the heat leave the day, her stomach wove into knots. His face had settled into a stony expression. But what wrenched her heart was that beneath that rigidly controlled surface, she saw the absolute humiliation and despair of that fifteen-year-old boy. Garbage bag? How awful to be reduced to something as terrible as refuse. What a horrible message to children who had no one to care for them. Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked them back.
“I was so damned angry, hurt, humiliated. I didn’t care what happened to me, and it felt like the overworked and underpaid staff of the group home didn’t either. I acted out, got into a bad crowd, criminal activity…stealing cars, robbing people. When I was seventeen, they gave me an ultimatum, the military or being tried as an adult and being sent to prison.”
Her throat so full she didn’t dare release her jaw, she put her arms around him, pulling his head against her shoulder, easing in a careful, constricted breath so he wouldn’t know she was crying.
For an instant, he simply sat there in her arms, then he let his breath go and put his arms around her. Maddy closed her eyes and cradled his head against her, tears slipping relentlessly down her face.
Sensing how raw and stripped he felt, knowing without a doubt that he’d never told another living soul about what had happened, she held him now understanding the source of his reserve, his wariness, his aloofness with people. She let him go, then took his face between her hands, wanting him to look at her. “And you never looked back,” she whispered. “Look what you’ve done with your life. How you have made it matter, even against such odds.” His chest expanded and she pulled back slightly. “I might be outrageous, but you’re indestructible.”
He met her gaze, and she caught a tiny glimmer of humor in his eyes. “Indestructible, huh?” Shifting his gaze, he caught one of her hands, then carefully laced his fingers through hers. His voice was husky and a little unsteady when he went on. “No, I never looked back, and I’ve gained so much insight…from you.” His voice wavered, and he stopped and rubbed his eyes, then Maddy felt him try to swallow. It took a while before he was able to continue. “I owe the guys the same kind of trust they placed in me.”
He hugged her so hard that she couldn’t breathe, and she hugged him back, knowing that they were catalysts for each other. He needed her, and she needed him. She smoothed her hand up his neck, wanting more than talk now. “Let’s go find a hotel,” she said quietly.
They ended up going up the coast about thirty minutes from the residence to Hidden Bay, a stunning location offering breathtaking views with the accommodations including a private plunge pool and muslin-draped beds open to the outside.
Once inside the ocean view suite, Shark lowered his head, gently covering her mouth with his as he tightened his arms around her. He caressed her back, his movements slow, languid, soothing, as he pressed her closer, and Maddy let her mouth go pliant beneath his. The scent of coconut suntan lotion clung to his skin, and his kiss tasted faintly of lemonade, his sensual textures elevating her awareness of him. She sighed and smoothed her hand across his muscled back, savoring how good it felt to have his arms around her.
