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I didn’t even realize that I had stood up when speaking to my dad, but now I was feeling a little uneasy, so I sat back down. As I did, my mom spoke.
“We were going to tell you, Aubs,” she choked out.
“Tell me what, Mom?” I asked in a hushed voice as I fiddled with my fingers, not even looking at her.
My dad got up and knelt in front of me grabbing my hands into his. I lifted my head to look at him with tears in my eyes. Then he said the words I’d dreaded for the last few hours…It was the only possibility I could remotely conclude, although I didn’t know how it could be true.
“Aubrey…I’m not your biological father.”
I pulled my hands away to cover my face. I started to sob uncontrollably. I felt another panic attack coming, and I didn’t want to be near them anymore. I started to get up but Brie grabbed me and sat me back down.
“Just take a sec. Breathe. You can’t run away from this.” Her voice was shaking but I could tell she was trying to stay strong for me. “We need to let them explain.”
Brielle has always been more level-headed than me, but she’s not the one who just found out her whole life was a lie. I sat back down as my mom tried to reach for me, but I crossed my arms to keep myself at a distance. She looked defeated.
“I’m so sorry, Aubs… I’m so, so sorry.”
I looked her right in the eyes and asked another question that I had been dreading.
“If he isn’t my father, then who is?”
She looked at me with regret. “I don’t know. I never saw him again after our one night together.”
I saw Brie’s eyes go wide. “Excuse me? What do you mean you don’t know?” Brie asked, annoyed.
I looked at her with an almost pleading thanks because my brain couldn’t form thoughts. “How could you not know, and why did you lie about it all these years?”
Brie was getting louder with every question she asked. Although she is level-headed, when she gets mad, she gets really mad.
My mom looked at my dad like she wasn’t sure what else to say. Dad took over again. “Before you start yelling, let us explain.”
I nodded at him and looked over at my mom. She looked so embarrassed I almost felt bad. I guess that’s the Pisces in me, constantly feeling bad for others no matter what they did to me.
“Almost everything we’ve told you is the truth. Your mother had you a few months before we got married, which you knew.”
He smiled and looked at my mom as if he was recalling a thought. It was sweet. I felt a smile forming, but I tried hard to keep it at bay. Now was not the time for it, and I didn’t want them to think any of this was okay.
“We met when I walked into her salon needing a haircut. That’s all true, but she was already about four months pregnant then. We talked about how far along she was, and I asked if her husband was excited. She regretfully told me she didn’t know the father and never got the chance to tell him. She told me it was a one-night stand from a party. She didn’t know how to find him.” He looked at her and smiled. “I’m not sure why she felt so comfortable sharing such a private thing with me, but I’m grateful because that’s what started it all.”
Brie and I just looked at each other in shock. I couldn’t believe he was talking about my mom. She has always been a little bit of a prude. She never really talked about herself as a teen or young adult, and now I understand why.
Dad continued, “I offered to help her. We spent the next few months just as friends trying to find out if anyone that attended the party knew him.”
My mom cut in. “I didn’t remember much about him, only what he looked like, but since it was a summer party and off campus, it was a mix of people from different towns. Honestly, we were all a little too drunk to remember many details. I was new in Connecticut, living with Aunt Mary after Grandma and Grandpa died. By the time I realized I was pregnant, I couldn’t even remember who invited me to the party. It was someone I met in passing that day. We clicked, so she invited me. I just went to the party to have fun and try to make some friends. I was a bit of a party girl, like someone else I know.” She gave me a halfhearted smirk.
I tried to smile back, but I couldn’t.
“He and I hit it off as soon as I got there. He was suave and charming and we had an instant connection. One thing led to another, and we ended up in a bedroom. We used protection that night, but I guess God had other plans.”
She leaned over and grabbed my hand as if to comfort me. “I couldn’t be more thankful for that either, because it gave me you.”
I didn’t know how to continue this conversation without crying, but luckily my mom kept talking.
“Your dad and I were just friends when you were born. I opted not to put anything on the father portion of the birth certificate and gave you my last name. Although I had a big crush on your dad, I didn’t think he and I would date, let alone get married. I didn’t think he would want to be romantically involved with a woman with a baby at such a young age.”
My father looked at her, grabbed her hand, and smiled. “I was in love with her. She just didn’t know it yet. I was in love with her openness and determination to raise you on her own with little to no help if she had to. I especially admired her willingness to let me help her find him.”
Dad looked back at me.
