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Charlotte flicked her gaze up to him momentarily. “I told Josie I’d stay through Saturday. Besides, Reno’s not my kind of scene.”
Austin chuckled. “What do you have against Reno? You mean, all the people?”
Charlotte shrugged. “It’s a massive event.”
“It is,” Austin said, leading them to the picnic table in front of her trailer. “Does that mean you won’t come to watch me at Nationals?”
Charlotte sat on the table staring at her hands. “I…I don’t know. You sure you want me there?”
Austin sat next to her, close enough that their thighs touched. He leaned his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together in fear he’d reach out for her right then. His heart galloped, and the sounds of the night faded as the blood rushing in his ears filled his senses.
“Charly,” he said, swallowing against the swelling in his throat. He turned to her. “Don’t you know? Meeting Hall want you with me.” He searched her eyes as they widened and tried to pull away, but he held them in his gaze and wouldn’t let them go until she understood what he said.
“But…I…I mean, before you didn’t…you didn’t want me there,” she said, her eyes blinking rapidly.
He shook his head, looking back at his hands. “No. I always did, but I didn’t think it’d be fair to you. I was afraid you’d resent me if I asked you to give up your dreams to follow me to mine.”
Silence filled the space between them, and eventually, his heart slowed and the sounds of crickets returned to his awareness. A weight lifted off of him with the truth spoken and out there. Waiting for an answer felt like torture, but it was a torture he could withstand, knowing he had done his part. He had taken responsibility for pushing her away. Now he had to wait for her to make the next move.
When she finally spoke, emotion made her voice quiver. “You waited eight years to tell me this?”
He swung his head to meet her gaze, not expecting the accusation in her tone.
“You didn’t think I deserved the chance to make my own decision on the matter?” she fumed, her eyes boring into his.
He gulped. “You would have come…you would have followed me…but in the end, you would have resented me because I put my dreams first.”
“You sure sound confident about what I would have done, but the truth is we’ll never know if I would have resented you…or if it would have been something we could have figured out together.” She jumped off the table and stood before him, hands on her hips. “And since we’re talking about it, what was wrong with what we had planned on doing?”
“What?” Austin asked, licking his lips and not liking where the conversation was turning.
“You act like we hadn’t talked about the future, but we had! Sure, we didn’t know if we could handle a long-distance relationship, but you didn’t even give it a chance. What if we could have? What if all these years we could have been together? What if we had made it work and…and I…and I wouldn’t have had to be alone?”
Her quivering lip did him in. He stood, planting himself right in front of her, their bodies touching in a wave of heat that seemed to pull him even closer to her. “You’re right.” He cupped her face in his hands. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It was my fault. I didn’t even give us a chance.”
A tear slipped down her cheek, and he wiped it away with his thumb.
“Oh, Charly, I’m so sorry. I ruined everything. Please…please let me make it up to you.” He kissed her forehead, then her cheeks, kissing away the salty tears that streamed down her soft skin. “Please,” he begged. “I need you.”
He continued to kiss her cheeks, getting closer and closer to her lips, which parted. He could feel her pulse racing under his fingertips, and he pulled back to search her eyes, but they were tightly closed. Her scrunched brow smoothed as she opened her eyes so full of sorrow and pain.
“I’ve needed you for eight years,” she said, her words barely a whisper.
He closed the gap between them, his lips finding hers as the new mingled with the old. A familiar taste and sensation enveloped him with a need that surpassed what he had ever felt as a teen. A need that was long-lasting, with a depth that pulled him into her as if the barrier of their skin was painful.
The kiss lasted forever and still not long enough, and when they pulled apart, he tucked her head to rest against his pounding chest. “It will be different this time. I promise.”
Charlotte watched Austin drive away until even the glow of his taillights no longer lit the predawn as they wound down the twisting road that led to Hope Lake. A part of her went with him, a part she realized had never left him, yet the knowing made the longing worse to bear. She wrestled with letting go of her heart, of trusting it into his care once again.
His words held truth, she felt the honesty reverberating within them before his lips touched hers…and after. He wanted things to be different this time, but would they? Could they?
She had so many questions, so many fears, but she corralled them last night so she could just soak in the comfort of his arms, reliving the past as she had wanted to do for so long now. Her heart was not hers. It hadn’t been ever since she had met his eyes coming off the bus on the first day of high school. Why she thought she had the power to protect it, she didn’t know.
She stayed outside long enough to watch the dawn lighten into a deep purple and slowly wash the sky with a soft pink. Austin would see this sunrise from the road. Was he thinking of her as she thought of him? A gentle warmth filled her with the knowing that he did.
Maybe this time it could work…maybe…
She let out a long sigh and turned toward the stables where Apollo pawed the ground and snorted. He would miss his new friends, and he didn’t understand why he had to stay. If only she hadn’t promised…
