AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Yet, if they were to make this work, they would have to get used to being apart. There would be long months they would not see each other; it would feel like forever. Could they stand that?
You’ve stood it for eight years.
The still quiet voice reached her, and she hung her head, releasing the tears she had pent up over the last several years as she had refused to continue to cry over her broken heart. They soaked the collar of her shirt, but she didn’t care. She wrapped her arms around Apollo and let them all out, not allowing her to go through the what-ifs or the if-onlys, just letting the emotions release.
“Hey,” Josie’s gentle voice broke her reverie. “You okay, girl?”
Charlotte sniffed and wiped her eyes, her heart racing as she tried to pull herself back together. “Yeah, I, uh, yeah, I’m good.”
“Liar,” Josie said softly, leaning against the fence next to her. “Wanna talk about it?”
Charlotte shrugged, grabbing the brush and stroking Apollo in sweeping, soothing strokes. “Oh, it’s a long story…a decade long.” She pushed out a half-hearted laugh.
“Well, we’ve got about an hour before the kids race toward the Meeting Hall for breakfast.” Josie settled back, folding her arms and watching her. “Go on.”
Charlotte stared at her for several moments, then as if a dam had broken, she rushed out everything that lived in the history of her and Austin. The words tumbled one over another as she shared her fears and her prayers. Josie listened quietly, nodding every once in a while to encourage her to continue.
When Charlotte finished, she set down the grooming brush and turned to Josie, feeling like she had just bared her soul. “I’m sorry…that was a lot.”
Josie smiled. “I asked for it,” she said with a laugh. “It sounds like God has set quite the path before you.”
“It feels that way, but since my path led right back to Austin…don’t you think that’s where it lies?” Charlotte bit her lip.
“It’s not about what I think, but what God is leading you to do.” Josie watched her closely. “Maybe it’s time to trust your heart to God’s will, rather than trying to protect it.” Josie pushed off the wall. “Scary stuff, huh?”
“Yeah,” Charlotte said with a gulp.
“It’s what I had to do when I told Cody I couldn’t have kids, and look where God led us?” Josie smiled, a smile full of knowing and understanding. “I had no idea where God was leading me when Cody came into my life, but I realized it had more to do with freeing him from his fears than it did with me holding onto mine.” Josie reached through the gate and clasped Charlotte’s arm. “Ask Him for guidance. He won’t lead you astray, even if it feels like the scariest path you could ever venture down.”
“Thanks,” Charlotte said, her stomach flip-flopping with the idea as if a part of her knew already what God expected from her.
Josie’s words made her realize just how much she was holding back. Sure, she had prayed for God’s safety, even His guidance, but not with full commitment. She held back, not trusting Him to lead her to where she needed to be for His will, but for her own.
She bowed her head then, resting it against Apollo, and prayed as tears fell heedlessly down her cheeks. Lord, I am sorry I did not fully trust You. I am ready now, ready to give You my all, my everything. I will trust Your guidance with my whole being. Wherever that may lead me.
When she lifted her head, the world was brighter. Not only had the sun filled the stables, but everything seemed sharper and more vibrant. A weight that had held her down for her entire life lifted, and as she walked back toward her trailer, she realized each step felt lighter and lighter.
When the trailer door closed behind Charlotte, Emilia popped her head out of her bunk and stared at her under a messy mop of hair. “Are we going after him?”
“No, we’re trusting,” Charlotte said as she hummed while getting her friend’s coffee going and making herself a cup of hot chocolate.
“Trusting…” Emilia muttered. “Trusting him to…what?”
“Not Austin, silly. We’re trusting God.”
Emilia swung her legs over and pulled the blanket around her as she hopped out of bed and planted herself at the table. “Okay, and where is God leading us?”
“I’m not sure yet,” Charlotte said, grinning at her friend as she set the creamer in front of her. “But I’ll let you know when I do.”
“That’s comforting…” Emilia sighed. “You know, God or not, I need to get back to Texas before the semester begins, and you need to let the residency programs know what you’re doing before the month is out.”
“I’m sure He’ll direct me before then. For now, let’s enjoy these last few days with the kids.”
Emilia gave her a dubious look but settled into her seat with a shrug. “Well, I always did like flying by the seat of my pants.”
“That’s one of the many reasons I love you, Em,” Charlotte said, laying a comforting hand on her friend’s.
~~~
