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“He was fine and then he wasn’t. He went in to have a port put in for the treatments, which went fine. We got him home and he was resting, then he woke me up in the middle of night, sweating and with a fever. I rushed him into the emergency room, but we lost him a few hours later. Turns out, the port they placed in him had thrown a clot and he also got an infection. Your father was so prepared to go up against the cancer. Now he’ll never get the chance.”
She leans forward and a sob breaks through. I place my body on top on hers and try to give her as much strength as I have left. I feel a heavy weight placed on top of me, and I know it’s Aiden. It makes me happy that he’s here with me, and that even though he’s not happy with me, he’ll still provide me comfort.
Eventually, Mom attempts to sit up, and we pile off her. She finally turns to me and says, “What’s going on with you? I see that you’re getting a lot of hate.”
Before I can answer, Derek walks back into the room. “I fell in love with your daughter when I was helping her take care of the house in Corolla. Well, if I’m being honest with myself, I fell in love with her long ago when we were teenagers. But I didn’t act on it until recently.”
My mom looks from him and back to me.
“Things are getting a little better,” I tell her. “Beachbody is going to take care of everything with the help of the guys’ manager. I still have my job, and it looks like the label may still work with them. There may be some concessions that need to happen with the song with Serena, but I didn’t steal Derek from her. I wouldn’t do something like that.”
“It didn’t seem like you.”
“Oh God, I hope Dad didn’t die thinking I was some cheating whore.” My hand flies to my mouth and a sob breaks through.
Derek immediately comes over and wraps his arms around me, rocking me back and forth to comfort me. “I’m sure he didn’t think that. He knew you.”
“He did, honey,” Mom assures me. “Your father was sure there was more to the story than we knew, and we did know that Serena and Derek weren’t really together anyway.”
“God, this whole week has just been horrible.” They all stare at me as I’m laughing like a maniac. “I mean, the whole world hates me. And now my father has died, and he had to hear in the media that I was some sort of homewrecker. This is just so fucking awesome.”
Aiden scoffs and shakes his head.
“Don’t start,” I warn him.
“You’re not happy with this?” Mom asks him.
“That’s an understatement,” I tell her once I get my laughter under control.
“Aiden, stop being such a child,” Mom scolds him, which only causes another round of laughter to burst out of me.
I’m not sure what’s happening to me. I think it’s just the stress of the week. It’s caused what feels like an inappropriate reaction to come out of me.
“See, even your mom is okay with this,” Derek teases. Aiden doesn’t reply.
“I didn’t say that.” Mom tells him.
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Zaks. I really didn’t mean to hurt anyone with this. But I love Audrey, and I’m trying to do right by her. I’m also providing security for her so that no one can hurt her. I will take very good care of your daughter, ma’am.”
“I believe that you will,” she tells him. “I just don’t want my daughter getting hurt by your lifestyle.”
“Does everyone think I’m an ass?” Derek asks.
“Well, I know my son, and I’m guessing you’re just like him,” Mom jokes.
It feels weird and kind of good all at the same time to be joking like this. I hate that there’s no chance that my dad will come walking through the door, but that’s something I’ll have to get used to. Or at least come to terms with. I’m not sure there is any getting used to it.
Emma finds her way into the living room and hands Aiden and I some tea. We all thank her as Brent comes in quietly and takes a seat in the chair across from us.
Emma sits on the other side of me, holding my hand. That’s where we stay for a while. Eventually, Aunt Ellen joins us too. We talk about my dad and tell stories about how wonderful he was. There are funny ones, stories of him being a dad and threatening to kick our asses, and moments that are touching. We’re in tears from laughter and sadness by the end. It’s kind of a great night, considering.
Aiden and I will go with Mom to make the funeral arrangements tomorrow. There’s so much to consider and so much to take care of. I can’t even fathom it all. Right now, though, I focus on being there for my mom and getting her through the grief, all while trying to process my own grief. To his credit, Derek stays by my side. Brent stays close to Aiden and me. It’s great that we have such a great support system. I just wish we were all here for a happier time.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
I went to Target and bought a plain black dress for the funeral. It isn’t something I want hanging in my closet. I want to wear it and then forget I ever owned it. Otherwise, I’ll always look at it and remember that tit was what I was wearing when I buried my dad. I may have been able to find something at my apartment, but I haven’t been back there yet. I’ve been staying with my mom, helping her, and sleeping in my childhood room. I had to make sure she wasn’t alone. Derek has been bunking with me and Emma. Which is strange, but it’s great to have them both so close. Brent has been staying with Aiden in his room.
I put on my funeral dress and sigh, looking at myself in the mirror. My eyes look a little tired and red. Makeup won’t help that, and I’m not even sure I’ll put any on. What would it matter anyway? I’ll only cry it off.
