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Doubt and fear clawed at my chest, a friggin' emotional tornado tearing me apart. Fuck. I thought I knew the people in my life. But now every memory, every damn whispered promise, felt like a cheap trick. My world crumbled yet again, leaving me stranded in a reality that made no sense.
Sobs took over, the pain of betrayal and the terror of the unknown slamming into me. On that damn cold floor, I was a lost cause. Lost in a maze of lies, not knowing who the hell to believe, questioning the whole damn foundation of the life I thought was mine.
Dragging myself into the bathroom, the heated tiles were a contrast to the chill within myself, like they were mocking the warmth that had once been there. Toothbrush, toothpaste – the routine played out mechanically, a puppet with strings pulled tight. The water ran, but it couldn't wash away the mess inside me.
Numb, I wiped the tears away. The mirror laughed in my face, reflecting a wreck of a woman. Eyes vacant, cheeks stained witha gut wrenching betrayal. Determination clawed its way up, a stubborn spark in the wreckage. Shoulders squared, I silently vowed to figure the truth out, no matter how much it hurt.
Pretend for now, I told myself. Pretend I'm clueless about my husband's possible association with the mob, about him possibly knocking up my sister.
Coming out of the bathroom, I found him awake and up, engaged in a playful interaction with Peanut. A faint smile adorned his face as he remarked, "I see you've made a friend." I nodded, my response icy, “His name is Peanut.”
He approached me, his lips brushing against my ear as he whispered, "Good thing he didn't wake up when I was showing you how much I loved you last night." I scoffed, gently pushing him away. Trying to muster warmth was so hard. It was a constant struggle to maintain composure and keep the storm within hidden from his scrutiny.
The sudden rap on the hotel room door jolted me from my thoughts. The scent of breakfast wafted through the air before he even opened the door.
He had ordered a selection of my favorites, from pancakes to croissants. The scent did not appeal to me. My stomach was too knotted to be able to eat anything. I knew him, though; he was even more stubborn than me. He wouldn’t stop until I ate.
Begrudgingly, I sat on the edge of the nearby couch. He dragged a small table so that it was near the couch and placed the food on it. Eyeing where I was seated, it was clear he didn’t like the distance I was trying to put between us. The second he sat down, he dragged me so that I was seated in his lap.
My teeth clenched, but I bit my tongue. He fed me and Peanut at the same time, only eating when we were too busy chewing to have another bite. I was not sure if fruits were good for kittens, but Peanut seemed to be enjoying them. I neglected how my heart melted at the sight of this big strong tattooed man feeding my tiny kitty. Despite the cuteness, each bite seemed to carry a bitter taste, and I wanted it to be over with.
He broke off a piece of croissant, holding it near my mouth. I pulled away, not capable of continuing to play this domestic game with him anymore. Then, his hand landed on my stomach. Patting it like he was claiming territory, a possessive claim. "Our baby may be growing in there. Eat," he muttered, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to say after what I experienced.
My body went rigid. I jumped away from him like he was some kind of disease carrier. A baby? Was he so damn eager for one? Is that why he could have cheated on me? Well, he might be getting it from my sister.
He moved towards me, his tone gentler this time. "What's wrong,Milaya?" he asked. I brushed off the question, not wanting him to catch on to what I suspected.
"Nothing. I'm just tired. Can we go back home?" I threw out the request. It definitely did not feel like home at the moment. But I needed to start working on my escape plan if what Elena said was real. There was no way in hell I am staying with a cheat and a criminal. This time, I would make it harder to find me. I would keep moving. He wasn’t going to convince me to take him back with orgasms and sweet talk.
He agreed and gave me a peck on the lips. Turning away from him, I quickly put on yesterday's clothes, keeping an eye on the stubborn mud stain. He noticed it and began to ask about it. ButI did not want to remember that night, so I raise my hand in a silent plea to avoid the topic.
He looked away from me, his jaw locked. I could tell his patience was running thin, but he was willing to try for me. He nodded and got dressed quickly, before kneeling down to carry Peanut.
We left the hotel and slid into the car. His hand lingered on my thigh during the entire drive, the touch burning me from the inside out. I found comfort in petting Peanut; he was helping me take my mind off things somehow.
As we entered the house after an hour's drive, I climbed up the stairs slowly. Once I made it upstairs, I leaned against the doorway. My eyes fixated on our bedroom; it felt like I was about to lose my breakfast. He noticed my state; he always noticed everything. He suggested with a desperate tone, "We can switch to one of the guest rooms if you want. I already had someone change the bed sheets." Dismissing the idea with a shake of my head, I head straight for the bathroom. I left Peanut with Adrik, knowing that he would ask the staff to bring him all that was needed. A shower was in order, considering the night ahead— there was a party I must attend.
CHAPTER 5
LUNA
?The water pounded down, a steady beat against the tiles. I had been in a daze, scrubbing at my skin as if I could wash away the doubts that had torn me apart. Lost in my own head, I barely noticed when Adrik entered the bathroom. He ripped the shower curtain open and took the loofah from my hand with a force that snapped me back to reality.
"What the hell were you doing?" His yelled, eyes drilling into my flesh that I had scrubbed raw. The tension hung thick in the air, the only sound being the relentless drumming of the water. Leaning down, he placed kisses on the red spots that were sore. I found it hard to soften at the sight.
He grabbed the shampoo, working it into my scalp with his fingers, massaging away the stress. I closed my eyes, letting it distract me a bit. The water washed away the suds, but the nerves remained in me.
“Please do not hurt yourself. Please, my heart can’t handle it, Luna,” he rasped in my ear, and I just nodded absentmindedly. He moved on to the conditioner, his touch purposeful as he coated my hair. I finally mustered the energy to speak, "Adrik, maybe you should go to work today, like usual."
I needed him to resume his schedule normally, or else he wouldn’t have gone to that supposed party Elena told me about. I couldn't last another day with this suspicion growing inside me, not knowing what to believe.
He had to attend all the events he had planned for that day so that I could find out the truth. His response was immediate, a scowl darkening his features. "I'm not leaving you alone in this state," he grunted.
"No, really," I insisted. "I need some space right now. It'll make me feel better if you go to work."
He looked away, a vein pulsating in his neck, a telltale sign of the anger boiling beneath the surface. His eyes flickered between me and the tiles on the floor, torn between staying and leaving. Eventually, he let out a heavy sigh, his reluctance evident.
"Fine, I'll go," he conceded, but his gaze remained guarded, analyzing my very soul. He washed away the conditioner and any soap suds that were still on my body. His touch was incredibly gentle but with no hint of any sexual intention. He saw that I wasn’t in the mood, and I was thankful for that.
