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Over the past two months, while I ran the bakery and got used to my new persona, I noticed something odd—I felt no attraction to anyone. Even the guys who regularly flirted with me. Albeit their attempts to get my attention, my body seemed closed off to the idea of getting involved with anyone new.
It was a peculiar realization. Time had passed, and I had accepted my sister's offer, but Adrik's presence still lingered in my thoughts. He was like a stubborn stain that refused to fade away. Despite going through the motions of daily life, my heart stayed fixated on him, unwilling to open up to someone new.
Day by day, I found myself caught in this strange limbo between accepting my reality and resisting the idea of moving on. He was bound to find me someday. I didn’t know what hurt the most, the idea of him finding me and breaking my progress of forgetting him, or the idea that he was committed to Elena now and I was not on his mind.
I beat myself up at the fact that my mind betrayed me once again, wandering back to thoughts of Adrik despite my best efforts. Frustration bubbled up, and I couldn't shake the mental images that kept resurfacing.
Needing a break, I approached Christy and asked her to take over for a minute. She gave me a quick nod, and with that, I slipped through the backdoor. I sought a moment of peace on the steps overlooking the greenery. It was a quiet spot for me to get my shit together in.
I reflected on Elena’s plan that involved a new phone and number, packed bags ready for my escape, and even a fake identity with fabricated papers. In this small town, I went by the name Alissa Ivanov. The only missing piece was Peanut. My sister had angrily arranged for Nathan to bring him to me after I told her I was not leaving without him. I rubbed at the finger that once bore my wedding band, a painful reminder of the life I left behind.
I slipped away from him without the formality of divorce papers. It wasn't out of negligence, but rather an understanding that he would never grant me that freedom willingly. For him, the bond was unbreakable, a chain forged with blood and vows that he would never release me from willingly. So, I chose the path of secrecy, knowing that it would be easier to fabricate a new identity and vanish into the shadows than to face his relentless pursuit or to expect him to grant me the liberty to go.
What hurt the most was the memory of my sister snatching the ring from my hand before I left. She cruelly told me that it was never meant for me. It was a bitter truth, one I couldn't escape even in this supposedly fresh start.
I couldn't even escape the nagging thoughts about the money my sister provided for my escape either. It irked me how she knew where I hid my funds. It was a reminder of the intrusive familiarity she had with Adrik's and my shared spaces. She must have been in our room with him countless times, and that realization only deepened the resentment I had in me.
I quickly realized my stash, no matter how considerable it was, had its limits. It was a lot, though not sufficient for a lifetime. Wanting to turn things around, I decided to pursue a long-time dream—opening a bakery. Securing a space and setting up shop became a practical focus, a place where the smell of fresh pastries could fill my void. With dedication, I crafted pastries and desserts, making my bakery an attraction that drew in people from nearby small towns as well as the one I now resided in.
Simultaneously, I invested in an apartment. Despite the considerable dent in my savings, it provided a stable place to call home. As I worked on my dream, I found comfort in the routine that drowned out my grief. Battling intrusive thoughts, I pinched myself, a futile attempt to ground my mind. "Stop thinking about them," I whispered. Returning to the bakery, I immersed myself in work, pushing through until closing time.
As we cleaned up the bakery after closing, Christy dropped a bombshell. "Girl, don't kill me... but I may have told Samuel we'd meet him at the bar after work." I lifted my head too quickly, slamming it into a cabinet, and let out an involuntary scream.I rubbed my aching head. Christy stifled her laughter, revealing her plot, "He bribed me with free drinks if I could get you there."
"Uh-uh. No way. Not happening," I protested, my muscles yearning for a hot bath and a quiet night with a book. Christy grabbed a rag and lightly smacked me, retorting, "You haven't so much as looked at someone since you came to this town, Alissa. If I didn't know better, I'd think you ran away from a convent." The term "ran away" triggered something in me, but I masked it.
Christy took my hand, giving me puppy eyes. She pleaded, "Please? For me?" I sighed, "Don't look at me like that. I don't even like to drink!" She continued with her pleading gaze, and with a defeated groan, I reluctantly agreed. Christy, unable to contain her excitement, threw the rag over her head and broke into a happy dance. She twirled and spun around, her limbs moving erratically. I couldn't help but bury my face in my hands, cringing at the second-hand embarrassment.
She muttered as she continued her silliness, “You will change your mind about not liking alcohol when you taste the bar’s famous martinis.” I responded with a skeptical, "Doubt that."
Undeterred, she grinned mischievously and teased, "That may not be the only thing you change your mind about. Maybe you'll let Samuel treat you to something other than martinis tonight... Like that di-" Before she could finish, I playfully pounced on her. I knocked her down and pretended to choke her. Christy grinned wider at my outburst. “Oh, you like it rough! I'll be sure to tell Samuel,” she teased, and I just yelled back, “Shut up!”
My face was probably redder than a tomato. We both cracked up, rolling on the floor. After pulling herself up, Christy said, “We should get going. He expects us there in about fifteen minutes.” I nodded, trying to shake off the embarrassment.
We walked out to Christy's car, a beat-up thing that's definitely seen better days. Closing the door, which felt like it could fall off any moment, I closed my eyes and mumbled a prayer that we would make it to our destination in one piece. Christy managed to coax the stubborn engine to life, and we were off.
Heading to the bar, I couldn't help but think this night out might do me some good. Work and worries had pretty much been my life since I got here. It felt like a good time to loosen up a bit. I deserved a break, and maybe tonight would be just that. Glancing at Christy as she drove, her long brown locks framing her tanned skin.
I couldn't stop myself from appreciating her beauty. I hired her a few weeks after I opened the bakery, mainly because the customer influx was too much for me to handle alone. I initially kept my distance, hesitant to let people into my heart after everything that had happened. However, Christy managed to warm her way in. She evolved from an employee to more of a best friend.
Turning my eyes back to the road, a sense of gratitude washed over me. Despite everything that had happened, I was still here—alive, well, and, dare I say, successful. They didn’t taint me. What happened didn’t kill me. While it still hurt, the wound fresh, I survived. We reached the bar, and Samuel, sitting there nursing a whiskey, lit up as he saw us. Rushing over, he kissed me on the cheek and then turned to Christy. She had a sinister look on her face, demanding, "You owe me." Samuel smiled and nodded toward the bar, where she ran over to quickly start a tab.
"You have no idea how happy I am that you came," he said, dangerously close to my ear. My mind flashed to the potential consequences if Adrik were to witness this. I gritted my teeth with anger. Relaxing myself, I vowed to give Samuel a chance. Irefused to let Adrik's shadow loom over every aspect of my life. Leaning in slightly, we started a conversation.
The bartender asked what we wanted to drink, and Samuel turned to me. I hesitated for a moment before blurting out, "Oh, um, I'm not the biggest fan of alcohol... but Christy said the martinis here are really good. So, a martini?" The bartender nodded, and Samuel ordered another whiskey.
Why the hell did I say that? The bartender must have been taken aback, wondering why I was in a bar even though I didn’t like alcohol. Thankfully, no one commented on my outburst. Social awkwardness is a curse.
The bartender brought over our drinks, and I took a sip of the martini.
I let out an involuntary moan at its delightful taste. I noticed Samuel blushing a little which I chose to ignore. Instead, I turned to Christy, pointing at the drink and giving her a thumbs up. She responded with a smug "I told you so" as she downed yet another shot. The conversation flowed effortlessly with the help of the martinis.
I found myself hooked on the surprisingly enjoyable taste. Soon, I felt much looser than before. A few strands of hair fell out of my ponytail. Samuel reached over to gently tuck them behind my ear. The alcohol lowered my resolve, and made me accept touches I wouldn’t necessarily do sober.
Glancing behind him, I caught sight of a tipsy Christy mouthing something about "Get that dick" I burst into laughter, nearly spitting out my drink. Everything suddenly seemed much funnier. Samuel grabbed a tissue and wiped away the spilled drink, joining in the laughter. I hoped he did not catch what Christy mouthed.
Britney Spears' "Oops! I Did It Again" blared through the bar. Christy stood up in the middle, twirling and flipping her hair dramatically. "Oh god no! Christy, for the love of everything holy, sit back down," I cried.
Christy shook her head wildly, then wiggled her fingers and approached me, forcibly pulling me from my chair. She put her hands on my hips and guided them to move alongside hers, and I couldn't help but cringe.
