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Four days speed and slow as they simultaneously drag and race by all at once. It’s been that long since I let myself completely go with Flynn. I feel like I still have his blood all over my face, his knife handle inside my cunt. I flush with heat, digging down deeper beneath my sheets.
It’s the first Tuesday of Spring Break and I didn’t go home. I didn’t turn up for my flight, I’ve ignored all of my dad’s calls, the voicemails. And I switched off my phone after getting a text from Lynx.
Lynx
I’m sorry.
Lynx’s bed beside me, empty, cold, made. I miss his scent, his skin, his eyes. I groan, pushing thoughts of him out of my head too. Tearing the sheets in closer to my face where I’m curled up beneath them. I wonder if I could suffocate just like this. Would I be able to smother myself?
I’m not sure how long I doze for but the thump on my door, the opening of it, the crash of it against the wall startles meawake so sharply I clench my thighs to hold in my pee as I struggle to fight my way out of my blankets.
“Jesus,” Bonnie chides. “It’s like a crypt in here,” grabbing them and tearing them off of me.
Emma trails in behind her, closing the door at her back, a teasing smile on her face. I groan, trying to snatch back my sheets, but Bonnie bundles them up in her hands, throws them atop Lynx’s empty bed. Hands on her hips, she looks me up and down.
“Fuck me, we have got our work cut out for us today, Em,” she clucks her tongue, and my mouth is gaping, looking at Emma as Bonnie turns her back on me, pulling open my dresser and rifling through it.
“What are you doing?” I finally ask, Emma flopping down atop the other bed, her cheeks lifting high with mirth as she lets Bonnie reply.
“Getting you out of this room,” she glances over her shoulder, her thick blonde curls bobbing with the movement of her head, her blue eyes bright, lined with thick mascara coated lashes. “We’re going out,” she says matter of factly, turning her attention back to the dresser.
“Bon-”
“It’s no use arguing with her,” Emma shrugs coolly, crossing the room and opening up the blinds at my back, my dry eyes blinking hard with the sudden brightness. “We’re in this shit together.” she smiles at me, leaning over me, her hand lifting to my cheek. “You look tired, sweetie.”
“I’m fine,” I lie, my voice cracking.
Emma likes getting fucked up too, but not like I do. She does it for fun, I do it to forget.
“Your cell is off,” she cups my cheek, sweeping her thumb beneath my eye with cool fingers.
“Yeah,” I swallow, her dark eyes seeing too much, “it died.”
I shuffle so she has to step back, push to my feet, diverting my attention to the bubbly blonde maniac tearing through my drawers of clothes.
“Bon-Bon,” I laugh as she slaps a pair of ripped jeans over her shoulder.
“Don’t you have any little dresses?” she huffs, stuffing all of my now balled up clothing back into one drawer.
“No, I don’t, I’m not wearing alittledress.”
“You are,” the pair of them sing in unison, making me laugh.
“Why am I wearing a dress, what are you doing with me?” I press the heel of my hand to my tired eye, rub my sleep clumped lashes.
“We’re going to a frat party!” Bonnie squeals and Emma laughs as I groan, dropping my head back on my shoulders, slumping back down onto the end of my mattress.
“I don’t wannnaaaaa,” I whine, knowing I’m going regardless.
The boys don’t do frats, they won’t be there, which washes me with relief, but at the same time, I think of how they won’t be there… and my insides knot.
“We won’t leave your side all night,” Emma frowns, like she can read my mind.
“I will,” Bonnie calls from over her shoulder as she pulls open my door, not giving a fuck who’s out in the hall when I’m in nothing more than knickers and a t-shirt. “I wanna get laid!” she shouts from across the hall, someone wolf-whistling her comment from further down the corridor.
“Oh my god,” me and Emma echo, hers with a laugh, mine with a groan.
“All the girls are going, it’ll be fun, I’ll be your buddy,” Emma touches her shoulder to mine, winking at me.
