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DECKER LOOKED DOWN at their hands, resting next to each other on the bar, each encased in one shackle. Her tiny elfin hand and his big stone-looking gargoyle hand.
“This is like some awful episode of a television show on Nickelodeon,” he said in a dull voice.
“Yeah?” she said.
“I feel like I’ve seen only seven different versions of this,” he said. “It always goes the same way. First, you handcuff together two people who can’t stand each other. Then, you put them into some hilarious situation where they have to coordinate their movement. Cue the laugh track. Then, you make it so they have to hide the fact that they’re handcuffed together for some reason, which produces more laughs. Then, by the end of it, they’ve become fast friends and forgotten their differences.”
“We don’t have any differences,” she muttered. “We’re, like, best friends.”
“Well, friends, anyway,” he said.
“Yeah, like, best work friends,” she said. “I mean, I wouldn’t call you to see if you wanted to get matching mani-pedis.”
“And I would not call you to see if you wanted the other ticket to the Ravens game.”
“Right,” she said. “So, anyway, it’s not going to be like that.”
He sighed heavily. “I have to pee.”
Her jaw dropped. “You do not.”
He shut his eyes and hung his head.
“You can hold it,” she said.
He thought about this. Nodded. “Yeah, for a while.”
“Hollis is coming back,” she said. “Soon.”
“Okay,” he said.
“And he’s going to fix this.”
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay,” she said.
Silence.
He shifted on his feet. “Maybe I should get another drink.”
“That’ll just worsen the situation.” She sipped at her gin and tonic.
“What situation?”
“It’ll make you have to pee more,” she said.
He cleared his throat. “Right, we’re still talking about that.”
“You’re the one who brought it up,” she said.
“I don’t really see what the big deal is,” he said. “It’s not like you haven’t seen my dick.”
“Tangles and briars,” she said. “Fine.”
“Fine?”
“Let’s just go to the bathroom.” She shrugged. “Let’s just go.”
