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“What?! Who the fuck is Bain?" I glare at my mom. "What about Dad?"
"Don't worry about who Bain is, and don't you dare bring up Jonathan! I loved your father with everything I had, but I can't just sit here and waste the rest of my life away. Your father wouldn't like that." She looks me over, and her face softens. "Think about that, Ryan."
I remain staring at the empty doorway long after my mother leaves. Maybe she's right; my father wouldn't like how I've been living my life, but I don't know how to deal with the chaos otherwise. It has been almost three years, but still, how can I accept another man in my father's place? I don't know if I can, but I shouldn't jump the gun. Who knows if this will last much longer anyway.
Happy Birthday… I miss you!
It's the first text I've received every birthday since my father's death. It's from Liv. We haven't talked since that day at the lake. That's on me, not her. She's tried many times, but I don't want to corrupt her with my filth. My life is shit; she doesn't deserve a friend like me. Maybe someday, when I get my shit together, if it's not too late, we can be friends again, but not today.
I toss my phone aside and get up to use the bathroom. Brushing my teeth and throwing my hair into a messy bun, I go to the kitchen for breakfast. Not expecting my mother to be home, she startles me when I turn the corner and see her leaning against the counter, drinking her coffee. Remembering to put on my sick face, I walk past her and go to the cupboard to dig out some saltine crackers.
"Still not feeling well?" she asks as she eyes me suspiciously.
"A little better, but I was hoping to take a day to recoup if that's okay."
"I'll call the school." She pulls a box out from behind her. "Happy Birthday, Ryan. Your father planned on giving this to you today, so I've made sure to take care of it for you."
I freeze as I look at the long, slim box in her hand. With shaky hands, I take it and slowly open the lid after discarding the ribbon around it. Inside lies my grandma Hendricks' locket that she always wore. When I open it, my heart soars. A picture of my father and I on my fifteenth birthday stares back at me, and tears roll down my cheeks.
"I haven't had much time to get you anything, but we can go to the mall over the weekend and get you a new wardrobe if you like," my mother states.
I look up just as she raises her cup of coffee, and that's when I see it. "What the fuck is that?" I ask, pointing to the rock on her left hand.
"Oh! This is your day, so I was going to wait to tell you, but Bain proposed to me last night." My mother grins and wiggles her fingers at me.
"You have got to be kidding me, right? Great way to ruin a fucking moment, Mother!" I storm from the kitchen and run to my room, slamming the door behind me.
I send a text to Brock…
ME: Are you up? I need a fix…
My phone buzzes back instantly.
B: Yeah, give me thirty minutes. My parents haven't left yet.
ME: Thanks.
B: Happy Birthday, Ry.
ME: Yeah, some birthday. My mother just ruined it, but I'll tell you all about it when I get there.
B: Ok… I'm sorry.
I don't respond to his last text as I go into my closet and find some clothes. A knock sounds at my door, but I ignore it. I knew she would come up here, so I made sure to lock it, and sure enough, the door handle rattled.
"Ryan, we need to talk about this!" my mother says through the door.
"Go away! I'm not talking about this ever!" I know I'm being irrational, but I'm not ready yet, and I don't understand how she can move on so fast. I mean, they only dated for a year!
"Ryan, this marriage is happening whether you like it or not!" I hear her walk away after stating this; then, the front door slams just before her car starts and pulls out of the driveway.
Making sure I have my house key and cell phone; I head to Brock's on foot. I plan on getting fucked up, so no driving for me today.
"Hey, babe. I'm sorry your birthday is starting off so shitty." Brock pulls me in for a hug as soon as he opens the door. "I take it you're not going to school today?"
"Fuck no, my mom called me in sick." I pull away and give him a small smile.
I'm not about to get into the whole Beau thing with Brock. My friend attends an alternative school because he got into too many fights at our high school and got kicked out. He's far from a good influence, but he never judges me.
