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I'm becoming confused as to what I should do. I mean, my stepfather doesn't seem bad at all when I'm being good. And when I'm bad, the punishments are always followed by a smile and praise from Bain, making everything right with the world again. I'm beginning to lose sight of who I am.
So, when Bain presents me with a new set of car keys and a cell phone, I'm totally confused. I look at them as if they are foreign to me, and then I look at Bain, "What are these for?"
He chuckles. "You have proven that you can be trusted, and you have been such a good girl I decided to get you a new car and phone. Of course, only mine and your mother's phone numbers are in the phone, and you must tell me whenever you add a friend's number to your contacts. Can you do that for me?"
I'm used to him talking to me like I'm a little girl, so I think nothing of it, and I even answer him the way he likes me to. "Yes, Daddy Bain."
"Oh, one more thing." He lifts my wrist and removes the tennis bracelet with the tracking device. "Just another reward for being Daddy Bain's good girl."
I give him a slight smile and look down at my bare wrist. A sigh of relief wants to escape, but I hold it in. "Thank you. I promise to be a good girl."
"That's what I like to hear." He taps my chin with his finger and then stands. "Well, let's go check out your new car, shall we?"
I follow him out the front door, where a shiny new BMW sits. It's black with aqua-blue accents throughout the inside. I run my hand over the soft leather. I've never felt anything like it…not even in Beau's car.
Beau…
I haven't thought about him in so long because it hurts too much. I can only imagine what things must be like for him wherever his training is at. It's a whole new world for him, and he's away from here. Away from his controlling father and…away from me.
"It's all so nice, Bain, but I can't accept this. It's way too much…"
"Nonsense! Nothing is too much for our pretty girl. Now go…take her for a spin." He stands between me and the open door.
"You mean by myself?" I ask, astounded.
"Yeah, why not? I trust you, Ryan," he moves and closes the door but leans into the window. Turning my chin so I'm looking at him, he says, "Don't disappoint me, pretty girl."
"I won't, Daddy Bain."
He smiles and then steps away, placing his hands in the pockets of his suit pants. I start the car while still staring at him, and we both grin when she purrs like a kitten. I slowly pull away from him, still weary of whether he will let me go by myself or call me back at the last minute and jump in with me.
I sigh when he remains where he stands. I almost wished he had come with me. I don't talk to anyone these days, so whenever there's a chance that Mom or Bain are around, I jump at the opportunity to carry on a conversation with a real person. Even if one of them is the villain in my happy ever after, I'll take it over the silence any day.
It feels good to leave the house, even though I'm still by myself. At least I can turn up the music and pretend that I'm heading to see a friend, going to a party, or whatever my delusional mind wants to make up for me to feel okay. That's what I strive for these days, anyway…feeling okay.
Gone are the days of happiness and living on that natural high because someone loves you. Gone are the times that your heart beats in anticipation of seeing that special someone. It's all gone, and I'm not sure what's worse, the feelings I had after my father died or now, after losing Beau.
I drive by all the places my classmates love to hang out at, and I see many laughing and messing around with each other. I wish I could join in on their fun, but I haven't joined in on anything since the summer before my freshman year. They would probably think I was on drugs again.
Speaking of drugs, I drive by Brock's house and see the light in his room is on. The memories I have of the two of us in that room flood to the surface, and suddenly, I'm missing my ex-best friend. His parents' car is in the driveway, so even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop. I always felt that they didn't like me, even though I wasn't the one that was the bad influence.
I pull my car over when the park comes into view and get out. I walk through the almost deserted park until I reach my favorite bench. Sitting down, I watch the few kids here shoot some hoops. I remember the last time I was here, Beau had found me, and everything pretty much started from there.
I close my eyes and think back to that day. I remember looking up when a shadow appeared but couldn't see anything due to the sun. It wasn't until he spoke that I figured out who it was…
"Nice ride, Ry." A voice startles me.
I open my eyes and see Brock standing before me, his signature smirk on his face. "Hey, Brock. What are you doing here?"
"I saw a fancy car drive past my house and watched it pull over. Saw the head of red hair get out, and I knew it was you." He sits down beside me. "Is everything okay?"
I shrug. "It's been better…"
"Let me guess, that jackass dropped you for another piece of ass."
I glare at him. "No, it's nothing like that. It's—complicated."
"I went by your house a couple of weeks ago, but it looked empty," Brock states.
