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"Stop! Just stop it already, will you! Nobody fucking cares if two grown-ass adults are in a relationship together even though their parents are married! We are not siblings! You are the only one who seems to have an issue with it… Why?"
I stand frozen in the shadows at the top of the stairs like a creeper, listening. I'm glad that Beau stands up to his father, but I'm afraid it will be all for nothing. Bain seems set in his ways, and for some reason, he will not cave on this, which only angers me. As I'm about to make my presence known, Bain starts back in.
In a low and menacing voice, Bain responds, "You have no idea what I have sacrificed, Beau. Do you think my life is all roses? That I'm living the good life, making all this money, and having beautiful women at my beck and call? There are reasons why I live as I do and have had submissives in the past. I never wanted to be in another relationship, but then I met Lacey."
"Okay, so how does that explain why you're so against me being with Ryan?" Beau asks angrily.
Bain's sigh to his son's question almost sounds like defeat, but still, we get nothing concrete when he replies, "Can't you just trust that I know what I'm doing? That I'm doing what needs to be done, not only for me and the company, but for everyone involved."
I bite my bottom lip with Bain's vague response. What does this all mean? How does keeping apart two people who have lost loved ones and who love each other as Beau and I do, help us?
"There you go again." Beau throws his hands up. "I'm done!"
"What the fuck does that mean?" Bain asks as Beau starts to walk away.
Beau spins on his father and steps up close. "It means that I'm done taking orders from you, and I'm done letting you control my life! I'm almost twenty years old, for fuck's sake, and you're trying to tell me who I can and cannot love! I'm done with everything…but do you know what I will never be done with? Loving Ryan…"
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Beau," Bain says. "You do what you have to do, and I will do what I have to in order to protect everyone I love."
My eyes are glued to Beau; my heart is breaking for him and his strained relationship with his only parent. I know what it feels like. I thought mine was better, but for some reason, it's going back to the way it was. Maybe that will be my mission while Beau is gone at training. Find out what exactly is going on with my mother and help her in any way I can. I know I should just leave, but then what kind of person would that make me if I abandoned her now when she's sick?
"Oh, and by the way," Bain speaks up just as he's about to walk away. "Ryan's little junkie friend didn't make it. I've taken care of it, and you..." He pauses briefly. "You will be on the first plane back to base come morning."
I don't go downstairs. Instead, I change my mind immediately and go back to my own room. I start grabbing clothes from my closet and drawers, throwing them all in a pile for now. Fuck staying here. I'm sorry, maybe I am taking the pussy way out, and perhaps I am a horrible person for leaving my mom, but she has Bain. Me? I'll just be pushed to the side and left in the dark like I have been since she got married.
The area where I last saw Brock lying on the floor still has some blood smears from Beau punching him repeatedly. I stop in mid-thought. Oh, my God! Beau killed someone…for me! He can go to prison if this ever gets out. I slide down the wall next to my dresser, and as soon as my ass hits the floor, I put my face in my hands, and I cry.
"Hey…what's wrong?" Beau's gentle voice reaches me from the doorway.
I lift my head just as he approaches and squats before me. I let him cup my tear-streaked face and try to wipe it dry, but the tears keep coming. I cry harder when I look into his beautiful green eyes. I can't talk, and when he realizes this, he pulls me into his lap and holds me, letting me get everything out.
After a few minutes, when I think I have the floodgates closed for the time being, I sniffle and whisper, "You killed for me, Beau..."
"I'd do it again, too," he states matter-of-factly.
"You need to go." I pause, needing to take a deep breath so I don't cry more. "You need to go, and you need to protect yourself…make something of your life, Beau."
He looks at me and then at the mess of clothes scattered around; confused, he asks, "What's going on, and what are you doing?"
Sniffling, I look around at the mess I made. "I was planning on leaving with you. I heard Bain say that you will be on that plane in the morning, and I was going to leave with you."
"That's great, Ryan! I would love nothing more than to have you come with…wait a minute." He pulls back. "You saidI was."
I nod. "Yeah…I was. But then, it hit me that someone needs to be here in case someone catches wind that Brock died here."
"I'm not following…"
I smile at him and cup his face. "You need to go be great. You have a duty now, and that's all you should worry about. I don't want my messed-up life to interfere with your future, so if it gets out about Brock, I'm going to take the fall. After all, it was all because of my fucked-up decisions anyway."
"No, Ryan. I can't let you do that," he states furiously.
"Yes, you can. More than likely, if your father took care of it, then nothing will come of it, but...just in case. I'll still be here when you get back. Heck, maybe I'll even let you marry me once you're done with training, and you can take leave again." I try joking, but Beau's not finding it funny.
Instead of just sitting here, watching the hurt and the anger grow in his eyes, I do what my heart tells me to do, and I kiss him. It's not just a simple kiss. No, it’s one of raw hunger. Some may say it's a twisted hunger, all because he's my stepbrother, and so be it. Be that as it may, I still want Beau with every burning fiber of my being. I'm desperate for him to brand me with his very soul…to crawl inside me and find a spot deep down where nobody can reach him. I want him to make it his home. Only then will I be able to live and breathe normally when he can't be here with me.
He returns my kiss with one of brutal hunger. This is the most savage kiss I have ever received from Beau, and it should tell me something. He's claiming what is his and in doing so, telling me that we aren't over…we will never be over. We stay here, taking and giving in the most passionate kiss we have ever shared with each other. I never want it to end, but I know it will. For now, I will enjoy every moment of being in Beau's arms while he's here with me…until he's not.
Twenty-Nine
