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It's New Year's Eve. Most are spending it with their friends or the ones they love. Me? I'm spending it snuggled up on the couch in the home theater room while eating popcorn and watching The Notebook for the fiftieth time in my life. I should be snuggled up with Beau, but as promised by Bain, Beau was packed up and, on the plane, back to base the morning after Christmas.
During the little time we had together, Beau was able to tell me a little of what he's been doing. After his basic training, he had more training in Infantry, which he had just finished before coming home. When he gets back to base, he will be sent to his new unit, and then, he's not sure.
Beau had informed me before leaving that he would go and open a post office box before he goes to the airport, and I'm to go and pick up the key. This way, Bain can't take the letters that Beau sends me. Until Beau knew where he was going, I would have to wait to hear from him first. However, Mom came through for me and was able to talk Bain into letting us talk on the phone, at least.
I don't get what is happening, and unless someone explains it, I don't know if I ever will. All I know is that there are a lot of skeletons in Bain's closet, and I would love to know what they are. He's been different toward me since Beau left. I'm not sure how to explain it, but he's been nicer to me.
I wonder if Mom talked to him about that, too, because she seemed surprised to hearhow he was punishing me. I haven't had much time to talk to my mother about everything. She's been pretty sick this week, and today was her first day feeling better, so Bain wanted to take her out. That's how I came to be alone tonight.
My head bobs up and down as sleep tries to take me while I'm trying to finish my movie, but it's a losing battle. Just as I doze off, my phone rings, and I jump. I'm wide awake as I scramble for it, knowing who it is by the ringtone. Have you ever watched a movie where someone is trying to get to something, and once they have it, they fumble? Yeah, that's me right now.
The phone drops to the floor, and I make a last effort to answer it before it goes to voicemail. "I'M HERE!" I call out when I swipe the screen, and his face pops up.
Beau's deep voice, when he chuckles, gives me tingles. "Let me guess, you fell asleep watching The Notebook."
"No! Well…” I can't lie to him, and I love that he knows me so well, but I hate when he's right, so I bypass it altogether, "Happy New Year, baby!"
"We ain't there yet, Ry. There is still a minute left. You almost missed it, sleepyhead." His voice has gotten deeper and a hell of a lot sexier, but when he talks to me this way and gives me those fuck me eyes like he's doing now, it almost undoes me.
"It's not even midnight there." I grin.
"Wherever you are and whatever you're doing is where I am and what I'm doing. Don't you know that by now? It may only be nine here, but my head and heart are with you. Now, get ready. Ten, nine, eight, seven…"
I join him in counting. "Six, five, four, three, two, one! Happy New Year," I breathe softly and then press my mouth to my screen as he does the same. "I miss you…"
"Me, too, baby. Listen," he sighs. "I know why you stayed, and I've tried to be okay with it, but I can't get past this. I don't want you there without me, and I don't want to be here without you. Since I have no choice but to remain here, you will just have to come here." His eyes burn into mine as the silence grows between us.
I know why I stayed, and all has been quiet, so whatever Bain did…however he took care of the Brock issue, must be working. Biting my bottom lip, I make the most spur-of-the-moment decision ever. It's crazy, really, but deep down, it feels so right.
"Okay…"
"What?" Beau's brows lift like he isn't believing what he's hearing.
"I said, ‘Okay’. I'm going to come to you." I smile broadly.
"Really? You're serious? You're not going to change your mind again, are you?"
I can see the worry flash across his face at this possibility, but I'm serious this time. It's time to show them all that I'm no longer a child. I will pack my bags, and as soon as Bain leaves for work, I will go. I need a flight that is soon and during Bain's working hours. I'm not worried about Mom. Without Bain beside her, that is when she seems the most like herself, so if she catches me leaving, I doubt she will stop me.
I may never have been to California, but Beau is there, and wherever he is now, that's where my home is, and it's where I feel I belong. "I'm serious, Beau. I'm coming home to you."
For two days I've been waiting to catch a flight. My mom came down with the flu, and with her being sick, I didn't dare try leaving. I had no excuse to give to Bain as to why he would need to stay and take care of her if I am supposed to be here, so I stayed. These extra days also gave Beau time to figure out housing for us once I get there.
I'm just coming out of the kitchen with a bowl of soup for Mom when the hairs on the back of my neck begin to stand up. This isn't the first time it's happened, either. I've had this feeling of being watched, but I can never find anybody around, so I have just shrugged it off. This time, I swear I heard a noise come from one of the rooms down the hallway by the kitchen, so I set the bowl of soup down on the small table in the hall and go investigate what the noise was.
Searching the four rooms down the hall, I come up empty-handed. Thinking it's just my imagination, I return and take Mom her soup. I sit with her for a while afterward until she falls asleep, and then…I snoop.
I'm never allowed in this room, so I'm curious why my stepfather was adamant about not coming here. Every once in a while, I glance at the bed and find my mother still sleeping. Her doctor says that with her cell count the way it is due to the cancer; Mom is in danger. If she becomes worse, she will need to be hospitalized.
I don't want to think about it. I've been watching my mother these past few days and have cried many times. I don't have it in me to cry anymore, not right now anyway. If I think about it too much, I will change my mind and stay, and I can't do that. I just want to make sure she is out of the woods before I leave.
I wander into the small sitting room where Bain likes to read. I'd call it more like a mini library with as many books that line the wall. Casually strolling past all the rows of books, a spine on the fourth shelf catches my eye, mainly because it's so out of place with all the older titles around it.
Unfortunately, I can't reach it, so I search until I find a small step stool and then step up. I'm just barely tall enough with the stool, still needing to go up on my tiptoes. It's a struggle, but I'm able to pull it out. I lose my balance in the process and topple over. Nothing is graceful in how I land, and nobody is here to catch me, so I fall hard on my side.
"Damn, that's going to leave a mark…" I grunt and then look around to see where the book has fallen.
Finding it halfway under the loveseat, I crawl over and snatch it up. An envelope falls free, and I pick that up, too. There is a familiar quote on the front of it, You are, and always have been, my dream. I gasp. I've heard this quote at least fifty times while watching the movie.
