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“Is it?”
“Yes.”
“Are you gay?”
“No,” I shook my head slowly, “though sometimes I wonder if my job would be easier if I was,” I admitted. Pain impaled my chest when I thought of Talya.
“That right there,” she narrowed her gaze on me, “that’s why you’re not like the others. There’s a kindness behind your mask.”
“I can assure you any kindness I had in me left years ago.” I knew I had to prove my point before Alejandro came in or someone else got the wrong idea. I reached over and picked up the one thing I knew would explain it all to her. This would hit hard. “You feel comfortable with me because I look more like the people from back where you came from, but I can promise I was meant to play on this team.” I handed her the photo, and she gasped in horror.
“Was he your brother?”
“My cousin,” I corrected and watched her head trip out at her new discovery.
“They said he died in prison,” she whispered.
“Everything’s an illusion, Lexi. We needed Blackstone to focus on something else while we worked a different plan.”
“Oh, my God,” she held her stomach, and tears filled her eyes, “this will tear Savi in two.” She put a hand to her mouth. “You’re related to The American, and I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a shred of good in you. Now I see that can’t be fucking possible.” I held her wild gaze. “How can anyone want to be a part of your world?” She shook her head in disbelief.
Her words stopped me from saying anything. I moved across the room and opened the door to the bathroom where I saw Filippo had dropped off the bag of clothes. I’d already cleared it of anything she could use as a weapon and tossed her a towel. She held it tight to her chest as she forced herself to walk toward me.
I decided to explain. “There’re a lot of reasons people do what they do, and I have a very good reason for my actions.”
“Which is?”
For once in my life, I felt the urge to share my truth, but as quickly as the weakness came on, it dissolved.
“You’ve got twenty minutes. I’ll have food out here for you when you’re finished.” I closed the door and listened until I heard the water turn on.
I opened the door and motioned for Ale to order some food. He didn’t question it he just dialed and made a call.
I sat at my desk and woke my computer, but any attempt at work just didn’t happen. Instead, I watched my phone, watched my cameras, waited for any sign of something out of the ordinary, but nothing came. My head spun like a top as the minutes ticked by, we were so close to making the biggest deal a Cartel member had ever made, but something felt off. I got up and looked out the window then turned and eyed the cross on the wall. Funny how such a simple shape could mean so many different things to so many people. I needed to go back—
“Boss?” Ale held up a fast-food bag.
“Leave it on the table.”
“You good?”
“What would make you ask that?”
“You just have that look you get when you’re deep in thought.” I looked away, hating that he’d seen something I didn’t want others to see in me.
“Thanks for the food, Ale.” I started to pull the food out of the bag and place it on the table. Alejandro had just left when the bathroom door opened behind me and pulled me from my thoughts. Lexi looked like the typical American woman. Dark jeans, a soft red blouse, and slip-on shoes with a tiny strap that looped up behind her heel. Nothing fancy but not overly casual either. Her hair was toweled dried, and by the way it hung I could see it would dry nicely, so I skipped the offer of a blow dryer.
“Your taste in makeup sucks.” She made a wry face and lifted her chin at me. I gave a huff at the fact that Filippo had even thought to get some. “I’m not wearing it.”
“Fair enough.” I checked the time and realized we had to get going. “It’s time to leave, anyway.” Her gaze shot to the door, and I could see the panic pump through her again.
“Will I be coming back?”
“I believe so.” I opened the door and waited for her to walk through.
“Eric,” she looked up at me with such a raw expression I felt a shot to the stomach about what was about to happen to her, “are you guys going to hurt me tonight?”
Unlocked feelings burst their way from my core, and I felt like I was about to drown in my own hell.
