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“Uh… yeah!” Mick’s enthusiasm is infectious, and we’re soon all nodding and getting excited.
“Before I take you to your suite, I’d love for you to meet Emilia and the kids.”
He gives Mikayla a cautious look, but she’s grinning and bobbing her head. “Great!”
We walk across the polished white tiles while a porter takes our bags and heads off in the opposite direction. A shiny grand piano is filling the space with peaceful tunes, and I nod my appreciation at the pianist, who smiles back at me, then turn right and head down a plush corridor that leads outside.
“The kids are in the indoor pool right now. They’ve got so much energy to burn, we try to tire them out as much as possible.” He winks at his daughter. “Remind you of anyone?”
“She’s still like that,” Ethan teases her, and Mr. Hyde tips his head back with a laugh. “I bet she is.” He chuckles. “And I don’t even want to know how you tire her out, so just keep that tidbit to yourself.” He winks at Ethan while Mikayla turns tomato red and Rachel has to cover her mouth to hide her laughter.
My eyes travel down her body as she walks ahead of me, and I can feel that fire burning bright as I imagine how I’d tire her out.
Shut up! Now is not the time!
I force my wayward brain to behave in the nick of time, because as soon as we walk into the indoor gym and pool area, we’re bombarded by three dripping children. They are all so excited to meet their big stepsister, talking over each other to try and get her attention.
Rachel crouches down to introduce herself as Emilia gives Mikayla a laughing hug, then smiles up at Ethan, obviously impressed by how handsome her stepdaughter’s boyfriend is.
I swear, it’s like a Hallmark moment. A snapshot of what a happy family should look like. I shake hands and smile politely. I laugh when I should, but my insides are ringing by the time we finally get out of there.
I love my sisters and my mom, but we will never have what just happened in there. It was all noise and laughter and smiles. The love was so fucking bright, it was blinding. And it felt completely foreign to me.
For all my plans for the future, my hopes of becoming a cop and protecting the universe from evil, my ideals of growing old with some woman who looks at me like I’m the only guy on the planet… I’d never considered kids.
I don’t want to analyze the why, because it’s probably some deep psychological shit about not wanting to become like my father. Kids are so vulnerable, and I’d never want them having to face what I did.
But could I be a dad like Michael Hyde or Jack Galloway?
Could I be happily married and have this Hallmark life?
I honestly don’t know.
Following Mr. Hyde through to our suite, I try to push the uncertainty from my mind. I don’t want to live in the future. I want to live in the here and now and experience this Christmas break without bogging it down with serious shit.
But I can’t shake this yearning inside me.
Even though I’ve never had it, I think I want that noisy, happy chaos. I want that blinding love. I just don’t know how to get it.
“And here we are…” The door beeps and Mr. Hyde pushes it open, revealing so much more than a suite.
“Holy shit,” Mikayla whispers, her mouth dropping open as we step into a luscious apartment that looks like it’s been made for Hollywood royalty.
There’s a large living area in the middle, looking out over a stunning view of palm trees and the golf course beyond.
“You’ve got a great view of the sunset from here.” Mr. Hyde spreads his arms wide in front of the massive window, then picks up a small tablet. “Here are your controls for everything—the fire, the lighting, music, entertainment system. I’m sure you can figure it all out.” He hands the tablet to his daughter, then tips his head at me. “Liam, I’ve popped you in this room.” He opens a heavy door to reveal a massive bed with about a hundred pillows on it. “And Ray, you’re just in here, sweetie. I’ve given the master bedroom to Mikayla and Ethan.” He points over his shoulder, indicating a set of double doors that must lead into another slice of luxury.
I can already hear Mikayla cheering. “This thing is huge!”
“You better be talking about the bed, Mickey Blue!” Mr. Hyde walks away to go check on his daughter while Rachel and I share a grin.
“Need a hand with your bag?” I look around, trying to figure out where our luggage ended up.
“I think it’s already in here.” Rachel walks into her room, and I stop in her doorway, spotting her bag nestled against the wall.
She walks into the en suite bathroom and starts making noises about things smelling nice. “This must be so expensive!”
“I know, right?” I call from the doorway.
