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Agency wouldn’t have green-lighted this op, so he would have needed Roman anyway.
“All right.” Connor sighed. “Bring Gabe and his girl down in the next couple of days. Have Everly make contact with her on her personal e-mail. Tell her a confidential informant gave her Lara’s name. We’ll find out very quickly if they’ve been in contact with the same man. I can’t imagine she’ll turn down a chance to talk to Everly. The minute Ev mentions that she’s Mad’s sister, Lara’s investigative instincts will kick in. She’ll be all over it.”
“And hopefully Everly will be able to girl-talk some information out of her. Then you can get back to real life,” Dax suggested. “Roman told me he’s sure Langley is going to clear you in the next couple of weeks. He’s speculating that they’re tugging on your leash, hoping to rein you in a little.”
They wanted him afraid. They had zero idea how tired he was of all of it. Of course there was always the fear deep down that he wouldn’t be good at anything else, that he’d made his deal with the devil and there was no way out of hell.
A vision of Lara humming while she folded laundry played across his brain. He’d been so calm that evening, peaceful and centered in a way he hadn’t been before.
It had been a lie. The whole time someone had been watching, lurking in cyberspace, waiting to take her out.
He was being lulled into some kind of domestic bliss, like a hungry tiger who thought the zoo was the solution to all his problems.
Fuck that. He wasn’t buying what she was selling. He didn’t need vegan muffins and constipated dogs and women who listened to vagina rock.
“Good. The sooner this is over with, the better. I have other things to do,” Connor spit out. “Even if the Agency reinstates me, I think I’ll take some more leave. I won’t be satisfied until I find Natalia Kuilikov and get some answers out of her.”
“You and me both,” Dax agreed. “I’m staying in a hotel about a block away. Text me when you’re on the move again.”
“Will do. You coming with Roman when I let him in?”
Dax frowned. “You’re really going to do that? She might be able to forgive you for snooping around if you ever tell her the truth, but I’m not so sure you and Roman have the same agenda.”
“Of course we do. We’re both looking for Deep Throat and Natalia Kuilikov.”
“I’m worried Roman will shut down Capitol Scandals. You know he plays hardball when it comes to Zack’s legacy. He always has. If he thinks taking everything away from that girl will protect Zack’s right pinkie from getting a hangnail, he’ll do it and he won’t think twice.”
Lara lived for that rag. Yes, it was a tabloid. But stories about the president’s penis size notwithstanding, she never reported anything that was false or actively hurting the public. What would she do without her site?
Why did it fucking matter? It couldn’t matter. He had to lay aside his odd affection for the girl and finish this mission. “Yeah, I’m going to do it. If I can spare her, I will. If I can’t, well, that’s politics, right?”
Dax’s eyes narrowed. “Now that sounds like the Connor I know. Funny, I was really starting to like the new one. Call me when you’re on the move. I’ll shadow her as long as necessary. I think I kind of like her, too. I finally read the damn site. Yeah, it seems to be nothing but a tabloid, but there’s substance there. She’s found a way to get people to listen. Smart girl.”
Dax walked away and Connor couldn’t help but think that he’d disappointed his best friend.
He stepped back into the building. This was why he needed to get back to his real world. He didn’t fucking fit here. He didn’t belong where fairy princesses made breakfast and did laundry and tried to save the world through impassioned words. He didn’t even fucking understand this world. Everyone around Lara was dirty. Her best friend was screwing a married man. Her ex-fiancé was likely hiding his father’s backdoor dealings. Freddy was up to something. God only knew what he could dig up on her father.
On the ride up to the tenth floor, it struck him that maybe he should confront her with everything. He should find all the dirt under Daddy’s seemingly shiny surface. Her mother probably had a couple of skeletons in her closet, too. He could lay it all out for Lara. Then she would understand his worldview, know that it was right. She would have no choice then but to admit she needed someone like him, who didn’t mind getting his hands bloody or giving away pieces of his black-as-night soul to keep her safe in this nasty world. She would finally grasp that he alone stood between her and a big heaping pile of danger. After that, she would get on her knees and beg him to protect her.
He would do it, but their roles would be clear. She would pay him with that sweet body, and he could hold himself apart because she was just like the others, offering him a deal. After all, nothing was free.
Something nasty roiled through him as he stalked down the hall toward her sunny apartment.
When he headed for her door, Connor realized that if he dumped all his honesty on Lara, she would never offer him the same affection she did the rest of her friends. He cursed under his breath. Damn, he couldn’t keep her anyway. Sure, he could tear her apart and force her to his side temporarily, but he would go back to the Agency because it was his home. Hell or not, it was where he belonged.
So instead of seducing her tonight, he would keep his distance. It was the only gift he could give her.
He would drug her tonight, slip something into that organic wine she liked and let the wolves in. Once Connor had the information he needed, he would disappear from her life. Eventually, she would find her pansy-assed prince. They would have 2.5 kids and he would cheat on her and she would be forty and single and miserable.
And Connor would be alone. That was just how the shit had to fall. He would stay away from her, no matter how much he wanted to sink himself inside and take all that warmth as payment for being cold for so long.
The predator inside him couldn’t fucking stand that she was going to get away. But he would release her because he didn’t want Lara Armstrong to be one more ghost who haunted him.
He opened the door, and the heavenly smell of meat assaulted him. His stomach growled. That was some spectacular-smelling tofu.
Lara stepped out, wearing her clothes from earlier, along with a pink and yellow ruffled apron. She was biting that full lower lip and frowning. “It’s almost ready.” She swallowed then took a deep breath. “Do you like it bloody? Or well done?”
“What are you talking about?” Connor growled because there was no way she could be talking about what he thought she was. Lara Armstrong didn’t bend. She was constant, and that had been a wall between them, one he wouldn’t climb.
She was a little pale. “The, um, meat. How long do you want me to cook it?”
That was when he noticed the spot. It was small, but his gaze caught it because he wouldn’t have ever expected to see a drop of blood staining her pristine apron. She’d cooked for him. For him and not just because she was cooking. She’d given up something important in order to please him.
His fairy princess had gotten bloody for him.
He crossed the space between them and had her in his arms before she could take another breath. She was so small, he just lifted her up so he could get to her mouth.
All of his resolutions from barely three minutes ago went out the window as his mouth descended to hers. He saw a moment of surprise in her big blue eyes, and then her arms wound around his shoulders and she leaned in.
He was all over her. He took two steps forward so her back flattened against the wall and he could press in, surrounding her with himself. The need to rub his body all over her was almost primal and completely irresistible. He needed to mark her, to bury his own scent in her skin so other males understood they would be forfeiting their life if they tried to touch what was his. He dominated, his tongue surging inside and stroking into her mouth in a blatant imitation of what his cock wanted.
That quickly, the most imp
ortant question swirling in his brain wasn’t whether he would keep her for the time being, but whether he would ever be able to let her go.
* * *
Lara was still a little breathless hours later when she finally sat down across from Connor, a glass of wine in her trembling hands. She’d poured him a couple of fingers of his ridiculously expensive Scotch and handed it to him in a crystal tumbler before deciding she needed a little liquid courage, too.
She was so confused. First he’d kissed her like he would never stop. He’d pressed her against the wall. She’d been completely dependent on him. Her feet hadn’t touched the ground and her whole focus seemed to narrow to the feel of his mouth on hers. Over and over he’d kissed her, his tongue tangling with hers, his body harder than the wall. She’d felt his erection between them as she’d wrapped her legs around him, wanting to ride that cock. She’d never thought of it that way before. She’d thought of a penis in clinical terms but that big, hard erection that had rubbed all over her couldn’t be described as anything less than a cock. She’d lost track of time while he’d kissed her.
