AllFreeNovel
Share Us
down. He’d zeroed in on the one thing guaranteed to make her say yes. He wanted the very things she valued most in herself, so she stood on shaky legs and crossed the distance between them. She watched as he exhaled, as if he’d been afraid she would refuse him.
His way. All the way. Did he realize he’d already compromised with her more than once? When things had gone bad, he’d been nothing but tender with her. If he needed to think he was always in control, she could give that to him.
She trusted him. It was time to trust herself.
Perching herself on his lap was awkward at first, but the minute his arms settled around her, that all drifted away. This was the magic of him. When he looked at her, she felt like the only woman on earth. When he focused all that energy on her, she felt alive in a way she’d never been before.
“That’s right, princess. You made the decision, and now you can stop thinking and let me take over.” He set his Scotch down and dropped his hand to her knee, cupping it lightly. Her whole body seemed to soften, warming up the minute he touched her.
“It’s hard for me. My mind is always racing.” It was why she struggled to sleep at night. Her brain dissected the day, replayed the conversations she’d had and the correspondence she’d read, then drafted to-do lists for the following day.
“Your mind is always working. Now it’s time to let it rest and let your body take over. You need this as much as I do. Tell me what you like.”
She sighed with relief. More talking would be good. She wasn’t sure she was ready to see what Connor’s “way” entailed. “I like lots of things. I like a surprising number of pop songs. There are several TV shows I’m obsessed with.”
The hand on her knee tightened just enough to get her attention. “I’m talking about sex, princess. I want to know what you like about sex.”
That was a great question and one that made her antsy. “I like kissing. I really like kissing you.”
“Then you should kiss me.”
“I thought you were in control.” He was confusing her. She’d never spent so much time building up to something everyone else in the world thought should be spontaneous.
“I am.” His hand slid up her leg, tantalizingly disappearing under her skirt. “That’s why you’re going to kiss me. It’s why in a little while you’re going to stand up and take your clothes off and offer yourself to me.”
“What?” That wasn’t how this seduction had played out in her head. He was supposed to take over, and then she wouldn’t have to worry about being sexy enough for him. He would just take what he wanted and she could follow his lead, and then he would hold her and sleep next to her. His version of control really sucked.
He nuzzled her neck. “Did the poor little princess expect me to tear her clothes off and fall on her? I’m not going to play that way. I want you with me every moment. I don’t want a second where you’re thinking about anything except what we’re doing together. I would bet every single one of your lovers let you get away with that crap. I won’t. You won’t lie there and not participate because you either don’t know what to do or it’s too messy for you. Let me tell you something. By the time I’m done, you’ll like it messy and nasty and hard. Now kiss me or get off my lap and we can watch the late news.”
His words seemed to have a direct line to some secret feminine place inside her. She knew she should protest, but all she wanted to do was melt in his arms. His hand parked on her thigh, just shy of where she wanted it to go, and it didn’t look like he was moving it until she gave him what he wanted.
She turned her head up to face him and realized he wasn’t as controlled as he wanted her to believe. He clenched his jaw tight and she reached up, brushing her fingers along the bristles of his five-o’clock shadow. He shaved every morning. She’d caught glimpses of him dragging a razor across the planes of his face, but somehow it seemed right that those whiskers were there. Another layer of texture. He reminded her of a sensual beast, one of the big cats. He could be lazy when he wanted to, but she should never forget that he could eat her up in an instant.
Her stare caught on his lips. So firm and plump and perfect. She’d become fixated on that mouth and whether she’d see a sexy smile or that arrogant, regal frown she’d come to know so well. She leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his, feeling the velvet softness of those lips. A little zing of electricity zipped through her every time she touched him.
While he had been the one to demand that she kiss him, he was perfectly still beneath her. At first it made her self-conscious. He stayed his hand, heating up her thigh. His mouth moved, but only in time to hers. He didn’t leap up and take over. Was she doing it right? She wasn’t sure how good a kisser she was since she’d never really taken the time to just lie around on her lover’s lap and explore him.
That was the gift he was offering her. He was allowing her to explore, exactly as he’d promised. She hadn’t quite believed him. And she hadn’t realized just how much she wanted it.
Lara raised her hands and cupped his face, enjoying the lines of his jaw and cheeks. She didn’t need to balance. He wouldn’t let her fall. He would ground her so she could touch him as she liked. Emboldened by that revelation, she did what came naturally. She dragged her tongue across his lower lip. He rewarded her with a low growl that seemed to come from his chest.
She gave him one last kiss before staring into his eyes. “You’re right. I’ve always just done what my partner wanted because I didn’t want much more out of it than the cuddling and closeness that comes afterward. I didn’t like kissing much before you. It was messy and awkward, but when I kiss you I don’t feel any of that. But I don’t know what to do when it comes to sex. I’ve had exactly two lovers and not a single one in the last two years.”
His hand eased up, his fingers lightly playing at the edges of her panties. “Now we’re getting somewhere. And you’re not awkward when you kiss. You just have to stop thinking and let your instincts take over. If it helps, I haven’t slept with anyone in almost eighteen months.”
That was surprising. “Why? I mean, I just didn’t think a man like you would go that long between lovers.”
“Such a sweet thing. I didn’t have lovers, princess. I had one-night stands and casual hookups. Those get boring after a while. That’s why this is going to be different for both of us. I’m not going to let you treat sex like something you have to do to keep a boyfriend. I want you to crave it, to want me so much you can’t think about going a day without my cock inside you. Now spread your legs for me.”
Before she could think about it, her knees parted as though they obeyed Connor and nothing so insignificant as her brain. His voice had deepened, taking on an almost musical tone that had her feeling drugged. He was using this time as part of foreplay. Her experiences before had been rushed and awkward. She and Tom had found a certain rhythm after a while, but it had never been this lush, lavish dance between them. And she would never have thought to spread her legs before the actual act was about to occur.
“I don’t like these, Lara.” His fingers slid over her undies, a light caress that still had her straining to get enough air into her lungs.
“I don’t like them very much right now, either.”
His lips brushed across her cheek. “Take them off for me. Take everything off for me. Show me what you have to offer.”
She stiffened in his arms, all her insecurities crashing back in. Naturally he couldn’t take her to the bedroom, turn out all the lights, and then make love under three layers of covers. No. He wanted her to get naked in the middle of her living room. It wasn’t like she was a prude. She walked around in her underwear all the time when she was alone. But she didn’t care that her boobs sagged a little and her hips were way too round.
“Did you not hear me? Or have you decided to be a coward?” he asked in low tones. “I can’t believe that of you because if there’s one thing I’ve figured out, it’s that Lara Armstrong isn’t afraid of anything. She’s bold and bra
ve, and it’s past time that she took all that daring she has to stand up for everyone else and use it for herself. Show me what you’re offering me.”
She suddenly realized that he wasn’t just talking about body parts. He wasn’t merely asking to see her breasts or her legs. He wanted her to be brave enough to say “This is who I am and I would like to share that with you.”
Every sexual experience she’d had up to this point had been hollow. It was easy to see that now. They had been a means to an end she hadn’t even acknowledged to herself. She’d wanted love and offered her body because she thought that was the only way to get it. It was as unfeminist a trait as she could think of. She thought of herself as a strong woman. She used her voice for politics and to argue for the underdog.
Why should it be different when it came to sex? Why should she accept less than her due?
She stood, her hands on her blouse. She turned to Connor. It wouldn’t be right to not look him in the eyes. He should see that she was offering herself. And she was worthy.
“Slow down. I want to enjoy this.” He watched her through hooded eyes.
She spent so much time in fast forward, trying to speed her way through her checklist. His reminder to slow down resonated. She never did that because she always expected something better and brighter around the next corner. Even when she achieved a goal, she didn’t celebrate. She found some reason to negate the victory.
