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Connor nodded. Lara could work on the mystery with Everly and hopefully she would see that it wasn’t so bad to be attached to them, to him. Before he could make it to the hallway leading to the bedroom, Zack stopped him.
“Could you please ask her if I could see this evidence she has against me?” Zack’s face had gone grim. “Dax mentioned it was about Joy’s death. I would like to know what’s coming at me.”
“I’ll ask her.” Connor shook his head. “But she’s listening to conspiracy buffs and got excited about the idea of cracking some great mystery. I don’t know what she has, probably nothing. I’m crazy about the woman, but she believes in the mystical healing properties of tofu, so . . .”
“Still, I would like to see it.”
“All right.” He walked back to the bedroom where he’d first made love to Lara. Where he’d betrayed her. He had to make her see they could survive this bump in their road together. She needed to understand that he would sacrifice for her. Somehow over the last few days he’d gone from wanting her to be a part of his life to her becoming the center of his whole life. The one thing he knew? He couldn’t go back to what he’d been doing before he’d met Lara. Sure, he’d fought to get his job back and now he couldn’t imagine doing it because it would mean long periods of time away from her.
“Yeah.” Lara was on the phone, her back to him. “You don’t have to worry about it, Dad. I promise it’s over. You can keep your seat and I don’t have to give up anything.”
“Let me talk to him,” Connor said.
She turned and he could see she’d been crying again.
“Please? I can explain. He’ll just think you’re protecting him, but I can make him believe.”
She thrust the phone his way and then stalked off to the bathroom.
“Senator?”
“Is that you, Connor?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why did you do this to us? To her? I think she was in love with you.”
“Good, because I intend to marry her.”
A sigh, followed by a chuckle, sounded over the line. “Did she grow on you, son? She has a way of doing that. Even the people who don’t like her at first tend to come around. Tell me something, did you really lie to her and let your friends steal her secrets? Are you the reason Calder threatened to ruin me?”
He wasn’t used to having a sense of shame. It kind of made him nauseated, but he actually admired the senator and found it difficult to lie to him. “Yes, but I thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I wanted to shut her down, but when I realized her motives, I changed that goal. I have to admit, now I just want her out of the dangerous stuff. I want her safe.”
“Do you love my daughter, Connor?”
That was getting easier and easier to admit. “Yes.”
“I want you to understand that the choices I made, I made for her.”
Connor had seen the file Roman had sent about Lara’s abduction. He’d read both the information and what was between the lines. “The mob held her hostage in exchange for your vote. Then they made sure you couldn’t call the cops. I knew that the minute I read the scenario.”
“How?”
“Because you’re her father. She got her light from you.”
He could hear the senator clear his throat. “You have my blessing, son. I’m going to give you some advice about my daughter. She needs a man who trusts her instincts, who believes in her. She needs a man who will support her, and I don’t mean financially.”
“I fought my friends because I believe in her.”
“And will your friends accept her?” Obviously the senator knew who his friends were.
“They will love her as much as I do.”
“Then make yourself vulnerable to her. She can’t resist that. She needs to be needed. If you want to keep her, make her feel loved and adored and tell her that you need her.”
That wouldn’t be hard. It was all true.
The door to the bathroom opened and she stepped out.
He held the phone out toward her. “He’s good now.”
Lara took it, putting it to her ear. “Dad?”
He stood and watched her as she listened to her father. She turned away and spoke in low tones, but he could tell they were discussing him. She cursed under her breath a couple of times, agreed, argued, agreed, told her father he was insane and finally agreed to disagree. She hung up and turned back to him.
“Thanks for talking to him. At least he’s no longer holding a press conference so he can resign his seat. Whatever you said convinced him that I’m not sacrificing anything to save him. I don’t get why he wouldn’t want me to. He sacrificed to help me.”
“Would you want our child to give up her passion to save us? Would you be willing to allow our daughter to give up her life’s work?”
“First, we don’t have a daughter and never will, and obviously, no. That’s not her place. It’s our place to protect her. Not the other way around. I mean, my place. Damn it, Connor. Why did you tell them we’re getting married?”
“I told you. They’re my family. I told your father we’re getting married, too. I told them because I am utterly incomplete without you.” His future father-in-law’s words stuck with him. He admired the senator. It was stupid but he kind of liked it when the man called him son.
She closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath. When they opened again, she had a sheen of tears coating those blue orbs. “I don’t understand you.”
He stepped close to her. “I don’t understand you, either, but I know I can’t live without you. I wasn’t lying, princess. Not about this. If you walk away from me, I’ll be alone for the rest of my life because you’re it for me. You’re everything I want in a woman.”
“And you’re nothing I want in a man. I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m not. I want a man who’s gentle and kind and interested in world peace and who never lies to me. You’re the opposite of all those things. I want a man who will never betray me.”
“You want some perfect saint?” He clutched Lincoln kind of close. The dog was a little piece of Lara and she seemed to be pulling away. “You want a man who never makes a mistake?”
“I want a man who always believes in me. Who puts me first.”
“Good. I’m going to quit my job because I want to be with you. Because you’re the most important thing in my life. I intend to be the kind of husband and father I never had growing up.”
“I won’t marry you.”
“That’s your stubbornness talking.”
“That’s my good sense talking because I know who you are now. I don’t think I can trust you again.” Tears swam in her blue eyes. “I don’t want you.”
She had to fight to say those words but they still cut to the quick. He wasn’t good. He wasn’t right. A chill settled over him. For a brief period of time he’d thought he could have her. He’d thought because he’d sacrificed, that he would get a second chance.
But after everything he’d done, all the blood he’d shed, he reached too high to hope someone good like her would love him back.
He set Lincoln down. She wouldn’t want him getting too close to her precious pup. He’d already made the damn thing a carnivore again. That was the whole problem. He had bloody hands and they would n
ever come clean.
Connor tried to push all that aside and do what damage control he could. “Zack asked to see the evidence you’ve collected against him. He chose not to use his leverage against you. Could you at least let him know what’s coming at him?”
He was pleased with how even his voice sounded. He wanted to scream, wanted to run to the window and yell out his anger and pain, but he’d somehow managed to stay civilized. He wasn’t, of course. It was all an illusion, but at least she wouldn’t be able to hold any sort of crazy rage against him.
She looked up at him. “Connor, I . . .” Her jaw locked for a moment before more stiff words came from her mouth. “Just take it. I’m sure your friend found it. You can give him all the information and then go home.”
Of course she wanted him to go away. She couldn’t stand to
