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Maybe Papa will care. Maybe he will hurt for me and finally look at me with love. Those were my thoughts every morning.
But with each morning I woke up and saw the dread on his face. Every single time he treated me as nothing more than a war dog and a killing machine, I learned something. Papa would not cry for me if I died, he would simply toss my body into a river and if I was lucky enough, he would toss me in with me a nice black casket to keep the sharks away from my lifeless body.
I woke up one morning and I no longer craved his love or for him to treat me like a father would a daughter.
I woke up one morning and I became morte.
The sky was still pitch black that morning, but it had been void of stars. I closed my eyes; I could still hear the rough wind whooshing in my window and the footsteps down the hall.
I’d picked up a dagger, a small dagger my papa gifted me after he killed my pet bunny on my tenth birthday. It was still smeared with dried blood, and I hadn’t touched it before then.
But I grabbed it from the box where I’d hidden it away and tiptoed into the hallway. I saw a figure enter my papa’s room, so I followed it.
Some of the memories of that day had faded but I remembered my papa’s shout. I ran into the room without thinking and before I knew it, I’d slashed the man’s throat.
My dagger had hit him straight in the carotid artery and he was dead in a matter of minutes. I was trembling inside, scared that I’d just killed a man, but when I looked up and saw the proud smile on my papa’s face, I tightened my grip on the dagger.
I knew right there and then that someday, my papa would die by that dagger.
A knock on my door brought me back to the present. I whipped my head around just as someone opened the door and entered. It was Maria and she was holding a white gown.
“What the hell is that?”
She laid it on the bed beside me. “The boss asked me to help you wear it.”
I laughed because I couldn’t believe it. Everything felt surreal. Not too long ago, I was planning my papa’s death, today, I’m in Andrei’s house and about to be his bride. I shuddered just thinking of it.
“Take that piece of trash back to him and tell him I won’t be attending our wedding.”
Maria didn’t move.
“Did you hear what I said?”
She looked up at me, and it was almost as if she was glaring at me. “You have to do as the boss says or…”
“I won’t do as he says, tell him I said that.”
Maria sighed. “If you don’t put this on, the boss will hurt you. He will break you and destroy your spirit. He will crush you.”
I stared at her in disbelief. “What did you just say to me?”
She looked down at the ground. “I’m sorry.” The words came out forced. “I’m only trying to keep you safe from the boss.”
Something was wrong with Maria; I didn’t know what it was, but she seemed strange. Maria wasn’t my problem, though, this shitty marriage with Andrei was, so I grabbed the dress from the bed and skedaddled out of the room.
I ran down the stairs and to the foyer, screaming, “Andrei! Come out here you fucker!” I was seeing red and couldn’t get myself to think straight. “Where the fuck are you, Andrei? I’m burning this house down if you don’t get your pervert ass out here.”
I panted, my blood boiling with rage. I could use my dagger right now, really.
“The priest will be here any moment.” Andrei’s voice came from the stairs, so I tilted my head up to look at him. “You should get dressed.”
I laughed like I was crazy because I was certain I’d really gone insane. “Get dressed?” I started to rip the dress apart, biting it, chewing it, all while screaming and laughing maniacally.
Andrei didn’t try to stop me. He stood on the stairs watching me with a displeased look on his face which was exactly what I wanted.
“Fuck you!” I screamed as I ripped a part of the dress with my bare hands. “If you want a bride that badly then you can become one yourself.”
Satisfied with the damage I’d done to the dress, I tossed it to him and it landed just in front of the banister he was leaning on. I smiled victoriously. “Now, what did you say about us getting married?” I panted.
