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I agreed that was the case. “I mean, I remember going out, the first shot or two, dancing, and that’s about it.”
Nicholas got quiet for a moment, and it looked like he was so mad. It looked like he was going to kill someone. His beautiful green eyes were flashing. “What’s the matter, Nicholas?”
“I don’t know what to say. You were dancing with some guy and he roofied you.”
His words had me pausing. Did I just hear him say that? I was given something. I felt like crap, it made sense, but what happened?
“Did you stop the guy?” I felt violated and suddenly wanted justice for something I hadn’t known about moments before.
Nicholas sighed and said that he had to take me to the hospital. “I didn’t know what he had given you, and he took off when I stopped him from taking you with him.”
I didn’t remember that part of it, but I certainly didn’t like the way that Nicholas was framing it, like it was my fault. Was it? How could it be if I didn’t remember anything? “Well, thanks for that.”
“I was just really worried about you. I thought that something bad was going to happen. I didn't know what he had given you. I don't ever want to be scared like that again,” Nicholas concluded.
He wasn't blaming me, but maybe he was blaming me a little because he cared. I wasn’t really sure, but whatever it was, it was a bit confusing. Nicholas was such a stoic guy, but he wasn't being that way now. He looked all worked up, and I wanted to tell him that it was going to be okay, but how could I lie? I didn't know what was going on, but I did know that I was feeling rather strange about it all.
“I'm in your room, aren't I?”
He agreed that I was and, of course, my next question was why I was there. “Why did you drag me into your room? Were you trying something with me, going to have your way with me?” I said it with a smile.
I knew the exact moment that he was offended. He just had this blank look on his face. “Is that really what you think of me?” Nicholas accused.
He was so serious there was no way that I was going to be able to even joke about it. It didn't have to be so serious. Why was he acting like it had to be so serious?
“You came into my room and wouldn't leave. I mean, you were all up on me like you were some kind of cat in heat,” Nicholas said. I felt my face getting red with his words. A cat in heat? Yikes.
I was thinking that I couldn’t believe that he had said such a thing, but whatever I had done, had affected him. I saw the way he looked at me with apprehension. Considering how badly I wanted him, that definitely didn't feel like something that I was completely above or anything. I believed him, I probably did act a fool without a filter, and now I was so embarrassed.
“How bad was I?” I asked quietly.
He shrugged. “It's fine. You’re still intact, if that's what you're wondering.”
That got a groan out of me, because I didn’t know what he knew. Had I told him my big secret? God, I hoped not.
“Intact?”
Nicholas agreed, and I swear that if the floor would have swallowed me up, I would have jumped without a second thought. What had I said to him last night? Even worse, what had I done?
I was feeling better, so I told him that I was going to get up. He told me that he would go get me some clothes. It was then when I looked down from his words, that I realized I didn't even have anything on. “I got naked in front of you?”
He agreed and from the twinkle in his eyes, I had done way more than just strip off in front of him. I tried to be mad at him, but it was impossible. It’s not like he had done any of it. I wanted him and it had come out in the worst way. I was never going to be able to get over this embarrassment.
“I guess I should be thanking you for that too.”
“You can. I think it was harder on me, than it was for you.”
I scoffed, “Was it really so bad?”
“Yes, seeing you, hearing your dirty mouth and secrets and not being able to touch you was torturous. I never want that to happen again.”
“Well then, put your hands on me,” I told him. “We will fix it right on up.”
Nicholas didn’t find what I said very funny. He actually clicked his tongue at me and said that I needed to lie back down. I was going to tell him that I would do what I wanted, but trying to move was a mistake, and I did as he wanted. It wasn’t because I wanted to though. It was because the world was spinning around me and the best thing I could do was get it to stop.
He helped me settle back in and asked me if I wanted anything. I didn’t. I wanted to lick my wounds and get over the feelings I had of being an idiot. I’d gone out once and if Nicholas wouldn’t have been there, I could only imagine what could have happened. I wanted there to be a reason that it had worked out the way it had. Why was I so stupid? Though, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how I could have changed what happened. Maybe if I wouldn’t have taken the drink…
I wasn’t going to beat myself up over it. I laid back down and closed my eyes. Nicholas didn’t say anything for a time and neither did I. I had a lot to think about, as I imagined he did as well. He started to get up though and I asked him to stay.
