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“Paris?”
Nicholas agreed and he was smiling, but he stopped when he realized that I wasn’t digging the idea of it at all. How could he have thought that I would like this idea? I didn’t want to be reminded of all the things that had happened in Paris. It had been some of the worst times in my life, so going back wasn’t something I would have imagined.
“You don’t like the idea of it?”
I agreed that I didn’t, and he wanted to know why. Seriously? Did he really not understand why? “No. I don’t want to go back there. I don’t know if I ever want to go to Europe again.”
He scoffed and told me that I couldn’t let him mess up the whole continent. I didn’t see the humor in it, but Nicholas was smiling. He was in a good mood, we were just married, but Paris?
“It will be good, Lara, you’ll see.”
I nodded my head, but that didn’t mean that I agreed with anything that he was saying. I couldn’t believe that he would pick Paris when he could have picked anywhere. It really didn’t make any sense to me. Why there?
I tried to get some rest on the flight. I didn’t think I would be going here again, but Nicholas was convinced that I would forgive him soon enough. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to. Paris? I was a bit thrown off that he would pick the place.
By the time the flight was over, I was no closer to an answer and Nicholas didn’t offer another one. He slept the whole flight, not something he would usually do, but I left him to sleep. I didn’t know what to say about anything. When we landed, I still couldn’t believe I was back in Paris. It felt different because now I was Nicholas’s wife, but there was still a part of me that wondered what was going to happen next. I worried about the answer to that question.
Nicholas was excited to be there and again, I had no idea why he was acting the way that he was. It was weird to see his mood change so quickly, but I had no idea what it was about. I wish I knew.
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” I finally asked.
“Come on, you will see.”
I didn’t know where we were going, but I had a feeling it was going to be something good. I hoped it was anyway. I was still trying to figure out why else he would have me come back to Paris. I really needed there to be something good at the end of this. If not, why here? I was still asking myself that question on repeat, so I really wanted it to make sense.
First, he said that we were going to go to the hotel. I was under the impression that was where we were going to go first, so that wasn’t that big of a surprise. That wasn’t what I thought was the surprise. The hotel room was nice, likely the best they had, but I wasn’t thinking about it or what we were going to do in the bed. At the end of it, all I wanted to do was go home. There were too many memories here.
“Do you want to get something to eat?”
I agreed, I didn’t like Paris, but that didn’t mean that I had anything against all of the wonderful food that was there. It had some amazing places that I could stand to go one more time. It was like saying goodbye all over again.
Nicholas had a smile on his face, and he was so chipper. I tried to smile in the same way, but I was forcing it for sure. I just wanted the two of us to start our new life together. That wasn’t here, in Paris. This was my past, and I was ready to move on a while ago.
He followed me to the place I wanted to go, and it was on the way back from before. I wanted to do the rest of the routine, find that store front. It had been a while, too long for the design to still be there. It would be like torture, but still I wanted to go that way. If I would have been alone, I definitely would have gone to see it. With Nicholas though, I was able to turn the desire down. I didn’t want him to see that it still bothered me after all this time.
Dinner was amazing and Nicholas was acting like the perfect host. He had this smile on his face that I really wanted an answer to why it was there. He was content and I loved how chill he was. I felt like I was on edge and since there was some kind of surprise involved, I was even more out of my element. I hated not knowing what was going on. I tried to get him to tell me what was going on, but he was content to let me simmer a little while longer.
“Nicholas, you know that I hate when you keep things from me.”
He promised that it wasn’t for that much longer. I wanted to believe him, but I was finding out that he was better at holding it in than I would have liked. Nicholas didn’t say a word, ordering a dessert that took a while, and I was to the point where I wanted to know what was going on. This was ridiculous and I swear that Nicholas was having a good old time with it. The grin was back on his face, and it got wider the more aggravated I got.
“This isn’t fair.”
Nicholas fed me some of his dessert. It had enough chocolate to sidetrack me, but not for very long. By the time we were ready to leave, we had probably been there well over an hour. It was a far cry from our quick dinners at home. I would have much rather had one of those right now.
Leaving the restaurant, it was clear that his moseying around wasn’t over. He then wanted to go for a long walk, and I wanted to tell him that I wasn’t going to let him do that, but I was lost in the moment. He was surely going to tell me what was going on soon, but I had to wait just a bit longer.
We were taking a familiar route. It was the same path that I had taken so many times when we were here before. Nicholas knew about all of that, so he knew where I was, but likely not what I was doing. Was that a coincidence? It felt like it couldn’t be. There was no way. That meant…
I didn’t know what that meant. I was more confused than ever before. I was about to ask Nicholas again what was going on, but then I saw it. I was at a loss of words. I looked to Nicholas, but his eyes were straight ahead. He wasn’t even looking at me, but I was ready to come to tears. This man…
What I was looking at was something that I’d been waiting for my whole life. I knew that sounded like a dramatization, but it was true. I was looking at not only one of my designs in a store front window, the store window that used to have my old design. This time though, it was mine, my name, and I think that I was going to pass out from the shock of it all. It’s what I’d been waiting for, but I’d thought that it might not happen. I’d worried that it wouldn’t. Now though, I could put it all to rest and that was a lot for my nerves.
“How did you?” It was all I could get out.
“You told me this is what you wanted, Lara.”
I agreed, I knew that was what I’d said, but that didn’t mean that I thought he’d actually do it. Nicholas was asking if he could help, and I had flippantly said that he could get my fashions in the store windows. He had. I didn’t know how he did or when he did it, but there was nothing better than that feeling.
