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I heft my laptop bag higher up on my shoulder. “I don’t know what to tell you. I have a lot going on in my life and then there is this on top of it.”
“I get it. I really do. I know that this is a lot for anyone to handle, but the truth is that you are in danger. If allowing us to follow you around all day means that you are going to be that much safer, then stop worrying.”
“Rio, I’m scared.”
He offers me a soft smile. “I know. Jovan is scared too. It doesn’t excuse how he acts, but it is an explanation. I was with him when his family died. He’s never dealt with that pain. He’s going to tighten control now that you’re in danger.”
“I know I’m going to have to deal with some of his protectiveness, but I think this is a bit much.”
“Yeah,” Rio says, sarcasm dripping from his tone. “Because murders — especially in a crime-filled city — don’t happen anywhere at any time.”
My cheeks warm and I lower my eyes to my shoes. “You’re right.”
“I know I am.” He lifts my head up with a finger curled under my chin and gives me a toothy grin. “Now, hold your head high and let’s go to class. If you don’t give a shit what other people think about you, you’ll have a much better day.”
I nod and the other man joins us. He doesn’t say anything as he follows me to class.
There has to be more to the rest of my life than this.
When I get home later that night, Jovan is standing in the hallway, nearly bouncing up and down. His grin stretches from one side of his face to the other. A sinking feeling appears in the pit of my stomach as guilt claws at me.
I was planning on walking in here and trying to argue with him about having two people follow me around all day. I was going to see if he would lower it to one person.
When he looks this happy to see me, it kills any thought I have about trying to alter the agreement because I know he is just trying to keep me safe. I want my baby to be safe. He knows more about what Felix is capable of than I do.
It’s time to stop fighting Jovan every step of the way. I just need to let him take control in this one area of my life. It’s not just me he is protecting, but our baby too.
“Hey,” he says, reaching out to take my bag from me. “I’ve been working on something that I want to show you.”
He puts the bag in the home office he deemed as mine before linking his fingers with mine and towing me down the hall. I smile, trying to enjoy whatever he is about to show me even though I feel terrible.
“What do you think?” Jovan asks as he opens one of the doors across the hall from his bedroom.
I step inside the room and that sinking feeling only intensifies. “What is this?”
“I got the nursery together.”
As I stare at the nursery, I try not to cry. I bite back the tears as hard as I can as I look around at the light wood furniture and the pale sage walls. The window is open to air out the smell of drying paint.
“What is this?” I ask, my voice hollow as my chest constricts.
“I saw you looking at some of this stuff while we were in bed last night. I thought that I could get it and set the nursery up while you were at school.”
He beams at me like he’s given me the best surprise in the world. I feel like shit for feeling as if I’ve been robbed of something. Jovan is trying to do something nice and he picked out everything I like.
“This is beautiful.” It feels like I’m choking on the words.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his eyebrows knitting together as he looks down at me. “Do you not like it? If this isn’t what you wanted to do, then I can return it all and we can figure something else out.”
I take a deep breath and try to find the words to explain everything that is going through my mind. This is just one more thing to pile onto all the ways that I feel like my life has been invaded.
There is no privacy in my life anymore. No safety. No time to figure things out on my own and work for what I want.
I know that Jovan means well, but it is a lot to process.
“I like it and I really do appreciate the effort you went to. It’s beautiful. I just thought that I would have been involved with setting up the baby’s nursery. I thought that I would get to be there for the shopping and the painting.”
Jovan’s smile falls completely. “Fuck. Hadley, I’m sorry. I honestly thought that this was a surprise that you would like. I never would have overstepped if I had stopped to think about how important this was for you.”
