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“It’s okay,” I say, though my voice cracks a little. “The last few days have been a lot to process, though. Everything about my life has changed and it feels like you’re the one in control.”
“I don’t want to control you, Hadley.”
Tears burn my eyes as I nod. “I know you don’t. At least, that’s what I’m working on coming to terms with. It’s difficult. I’ve relied on myself for so long that having someone else who gives a shit is hard to wrap my head around.”
Jovan sighs and looks around at the room. “I’m going to paint it white again tomorrow and return everything. Whenever you’re ready, we can go shopping for everything together.”
Some of the tightness in my chest starts to ease. I feel like I’m getting a little bit of control back in my life. Even if it is just this tiny amount, I appreciate it.
“Thank you,” I say. “I really do love the color you got for the walls, though. Why don’t we keep it that color?”
Jovan smiles at me, his entire face lighting up again. It’s nice to see that he is excited about the baby, even if it brings a thousand different fears surging to the surface.
My baby isn’t even through the first trimester and I already have to accept the fact that their life is going to be forever connected to the cartel.
I just have to make sure that I don’t fall into the same shit that my parents did.
20
JOVAN
Hadley takes off her heels as we stand at the edge of the dock. I reach out a hand to help her onto the yacht before hopping on after her. She grins as she looks around, the warm breeze blowing through her hair.
“If I had known that you owned a yacht, I would have asked to come out here sooner,” she says as she climbs the stairs to the upper deck.
“I don’t make a habit of going around and announcing that I have a yacht. People start wanting to party on the yacht and that makes it hard to impress a beautiful woman with a night alone.”
Her cheeks turn a bright pink as we reach the upper deck. The captain nods to me as he disappears inside the boat.
“Where are we going to head tonight?” she asks as she sits down on one of the lounge chairs and tucks her heels underneath.
I take off my own shoes and put them beneath my chair. “I think the captain is going to give us a tour of the coast. The chef is going to be making some food too.”
Hadley nods and leans back in the chair, looking up at the stars as the crew start to untie the yacht from the dock. “It’s a beautiful night to spend some time out on the water.”
“Even if it wasn’t, the view from the bedroom is pretty great,” I say as I pull my chair closer to hers before sitting down.
Hadley laughs and shakes her head, her eyes sparkling in the dim light. “You really are something else, aren’t you?”
“I like to think that I’m a man who knows what he wants.”
“And what do you want?” she asks, her tone teasing as I reach out and take her hand.
I lace our fingers together and kiss the back of her hand. “I think I’ve made it clear by now that I want you. Shit isn’t easy between us but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I like that you make me work for your affection.”
“I don’t make you work too hard, do I?”
Smiling, I kiss the back of her hand again. “I wouldn’t be interested if you weren’t hard on me. Not a lot of people have the balls to stand up to me the way you do. Hell, Rio is the only one who comes close most days and even he has a limit. Not you, though. You tell me to go fuck myself with the same mouth you wrap around my cock.”
Her cheeks turn a violent shade of red as one of the crew appears with glasses of sparkling apple juice. The steward clears his throat and sets down the drinks before spinning and walking away.
“Well, at least that’s likely not the worst thing he’s heard while working for you.”
“Wouldn’t know. You’re the only woman I’ve ever brought on a solo trip here.”
The smile that she gives me is worth all the hell that we’ve gone through in the last few weeks and all the shit that we have yet to go through. I know that it’s only a matter of time before Felix makes a move and tries to take her from me.
Then there is the matter of her connection to the Domingos cartel. I still don’t know what it is and there is a very large part of me that never wants to find out.
