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If I’m going to impress the agents and have any chance to get signed to a record label, I have to put on a couple of good shows this week. I have to be able to make them fall in love with my music in only a short time.
Nerves race through me as I start to go through a setlist in my mind. I have several new songs that I want to perform but covers of some of my favorite songs could be a better idea.
Although, I want to get signed for the music I write.
This is going to be a long week.
I take the long way home, needing the time to think about what I’m going to do once I get back in the studio.
The studio is where I’m going to spend most of my time until the performances, working on recording as many of my songs as I can. I need something to occupy the time that I would otherwise spend worrying about Christian.
As I pull up in front of the house, I know that no amount of hiding in the studio is going to erase the worry from my mind.
Stop that! Christian is a grown man, and he can take care of himself. Everything is going to be fine.
When I stop the car, I take a look toward the door.
My father is sitting on the doorstep, his hands clasped in front of him.
My eyebrows knit together as I look at him.
He doesn’t look at me, instead staring off into the distance.
I sigh and get out of the car, trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever game he’s about to play.
That sitting there and looking into the distance is the same trick he used to use on me when I was younger. He would sit there, looking miserable and then proceed to tell me how much I had disappointed him that day.
Nothing I did was ever good enough.
Though I have no idea what I might have done this time, guilt rolls through me in waves as I climb the steps and take a seat beside him.
I love my dad.
Even though there are times when we aren’t on the same page, or even in the same book, he’s still my dad. He loves me. He just has a hard time loving the person I became instead of the one I used to be.
“I didn’t know that you were going to be coming over,” I say, my tone guarded as I stretch my legs out in front of me.
“You know, if anyone asked me how my youngest daughter would be spending her life, this isn’t what I would have said. Seeing you get married to a criminal is a travesty, Zoe.”
Dad sighs and looks at me from the corner of his eye. “I thought that me and your mother raised you better than that. I thought we taught you to know right from wrong.”
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Dad, you were arranging for me to get married to Christian in the first place.”
“I needed to arrange the marriage. But I found a way to call it off. And then you go off and get married to him anyway.” Dad sighs and sits up, crossing his arms. “Can’t you see that this isn’t the life I want for you?”
The security teams are sitting in the car in the driveway, giving us space but watching us.
I nod to them, letting them know that everything is alright. If they get out of the car and come over here, then Dad is only going to get more agitated.
“This isn’t the life that I thought I wanted for myself.”
Butterflies beat their wings against the inside of my stomach. “But now that I’m living it, I’m happy.”
Dad scoffs and shakes his head. “You don’t even know what happiness is. Not if you think that you’ve found it here with him.”
“I love Christian. I am happy here. I get to live out my dreams, and I don’t have to fall into the little box that you and Mom made for me.”
I run my sweaty hands down my pants, trying to dry them out. “I love you too, Dad, but you don’t get to decide what life is and isn’t right for me. I like it here. I love being with Christian. He’s a good husband.”
