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“I’m sorry. I should have thought about that.” I run my hands down my face.
I don’t know where to go from here. This conversation has been less than productive.
“Whatever,” Christian says as he heads for the door. “I have business I need to take care of.”
He walks out of the room and slams the door behind him.
Though we weren’t yelling at each other, it feels like our worst argument yet.
I don’t know where we go from here or what I’m supposed to do with the way I feel for him.
This was supposed to clear everything up. We were supposed to be able to move forward after we spoke.
I need to get out of this house for a little bit.
Christian said that I could go shopping with Ava a few days ago as long as I took the security detail with me. Maybe it’s time that I take him up on that offer.
I could use some sisterly advice.
Mom purses her lips and shakes her head when I pull a pair of jeans off the rack.
I need some more outfits for performing, but Mom is disagreeing with everything I try to buy. I don’t know why her opinion matters to me still.
With Mom here, I can’t talk to Ava about Christian.
It’s probably a good thing. I could use a little time to not think about him and the cartel, even though there are several men following us around.
“I don’t know why you continue to pick up clothing that does not suit you, Zoe. You know that you are supposed to dress appropriately, and yet you keep selecting shirts that don’t cover anything.”
Mom sniffs as I run my fingers along a suede bustier. “You are not going to purchase that.”
Ava glares at our mother as she digs through the rack and finds my size in the bustier. “She can buy whatever she likes. Not only does she not live at home anymore, but she’s her own person.”
I give Ava a warning look as she shoves the bustier into my hands.
The last thing I want is to fight with Mom in the middle of a store. She would insist that I’m going to bring bad press to the family and she’s right.
With who my husband is, it’s best to lay low. Even the security detail does their best to blend in whenever we go out.
“I don’t want this outing to turn into a mess,” I say, keeping my voice quiet as one of the saleswomen looks over at us. “I don’t have to buy this today. I just need something nice to wear to La Neige next week for my performance.”
Mom rolls her eyes. “I still can’t believe that you are chasing after this silly little dream of yours. Have you even thought about what people will say to your father? Do you think that you’re making it easy for him to be in the public when you want to spend your days parading around naked on stage?”
Anger bubbles up, but I try to stuff it down.
Mom is always going to be who she is. I learned a long time ago that I was going to be a disappointment in her eyes.
It doesn’t make it sting any less, but as I get older, I start to move on faster.
“Dad is perfectly capable of managing his public image.” I hold the top a little tighter and start looking for some flared leather pants to go with it. “There is no need for me to pull back on my career when he has an entire team of people to help him with his.”
Mom rolls her eyes and tries to take the bustier from me.
I scowl and hold onto it a little tighter, my heart pounding in my chest.
After all our years of shopping together, I know that she has no issue making a scene in a store if I don’t do what she wants.
I’m tired of being that person, though.
