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“I’ll need to draw some blood for the test. You’ll feel just a little prick.”
I offer my hand and turn away. A tiny pinch later and she’s done.
“We’ve taken a swab sample from your partner and the result should be out in three days."
Three days later, I’m sitting in the waiting room to confirm something I already know. My emotions are all over the place, as I await the result. My panic is strangely not the result of not wanting this life growing inside of me or giving the baby away because I never wanted to be a mother. Despite my previous position, I can’t deny I want this baby, even though the very thought of it terrifies me. Although there is yet to be any visible evidence of my current state, I rub my belly, a nervous smile crisscrossing my lips.
I’m going to be a mom. That’s insane.
The alarming thing is I’ve come to realize I’m happy to have a child with Enzo. There is no doubt about it I want to do this… and as screwed up as it is, I love that annoying bastard. I have tried to lie to myself to the contrary, but I might as well try to hold a puff of smoke between my fingers than deny my feelings.
I sigh deeply, recognizing this is the most vulnerable I have ever been, carrying Enzo’s child and being wholly in love with him despite the fight we have been having.
You’re really screwed, Kelly.
Enzo walks in with an envelope in hand and casually sits by my side. His eyes are firmly fixed on the result. He takes a deep breath, his nervousness leaking through the confident front he’s been cultivating.
Is he worried the child isn’t his?
With the way he vehemently pushed to get the paternity test, you’d think he had no doubt whatsoever. But here he is, just as nervous as I am — an unnecessary test result at hand, seconds from finding out something I can already confirm but refrain from doing so.
He rips the top of the envelope. I watch as his eyes scan the information it holds and then pause. Slowly, a smile forms on his face, seeing he is, indeed, the father of the child.
“We’re going to have a baby!” he half shouts, wrapping his hands around me and kissing the side of my face.
“Yes, we are.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, the intensity of the moment catching up with me. My eyes water, tears threatening to fall as I realize what this moment means. From this point, we can either make it together as a couple or this could spell the beginning of the end.
So far, I have given him several chances to get serious, but how does one even begin to get serious with a man who is so closed off about his past? I’ve had the door slammed in my face at every attempt to secure the kind of emotional connection I want. His resistance to going deep with me puts us at a crossroads.
I sniff, blinking away the tears. I substitute a worried face for a smiling one as he releases me from his embrace. I give him a look; he seems genuinely ecstatic at the prospect of being a father for which I’m grateful. It means he is open to settling down and having a family with me as opposed to running for the hills.
One less thing to worry about. Maybe everything will be okay after all.
We arrived at my apartment, and I quickly discarded my clothes. After the day we’ve had, I’m exhausted and want nothing more than to take a shower and get some needed sleep.
“I’m headed for the shower. Care to join me” I beckon, already making my way to the bathroom.
“I’ll be with you in just a moment. I have a quick business to handle. I’ll join you shortly.”
I almost wanted to take my phone with me after the last incident, but decided against it. What kind of relationship can I have if I don’t trust him? Besides, he apologized for his actions, and I believe there will be no repeat occurrence. At least, I hope so.
I finished the shower without Enzo having joined me. I walked into the room to find both Enzo and my phone missing. I grit my teeth in anger and make for the living area, fearing the worst.
And there he is, on my phone, I distinctly asked him to stay away. He is typing away without a care in the world.
“What the fuck are you doing with my phone, Enzo?” I bark. I can’t restrain my rage. Messing my phone and sending those awful messages the first time was bad enough. I dread what he might have done this time around.
“And send,” he says, his remorseless eyes following me as I leap the stairs in bounds and snatch my phone from his grasp.
“Give me!” I hiss and check the recent texts on my phone.
Kelly: I’ve had a great relationship with each one of you so far, but I regrettably have to call it quits now. While you might find this sudden and without reason, it’s something I’ve very clearly thought through. You see, I’m pregnant now and have to focus on raising my new family.
“You ass,” I spit at him, furious. “You had no right to do that.”
“Well, can you blame me?” he asks, his arms spread out in front of me. “I have to mark my territory. I definitely cannot have the mother of my child gallivanting with various men. I won’t have it.”
