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I finished cleaning my plate and turned back to the men. “I’m beat, so I’m headed to bed.” I walked toward my brother, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and running my fingers through his hair. “I’m glad the shit is over, and I’m happy you’re here.”
He stiffened for a second in my arms, but only a second. It passed quickly, and then he was reaching up to wrap his fingers around my arm, relaxing into me the way he had as a little boy. “Love you, Sis. Thank you for letting me stay with you guys.”
“Where else in the world should you be?”
I did my best to ignore Spencer’s stare over Shane’s head. I kissed his head, his hair smelling less like dried blood and more like Spencer’s preferred brand of sandalwood shampoo. Letting go, I turned away from the both of them and started heading for the door. Once I got outside of the kitchen, I heard Spencer speaking softly to my little brother.
“Really, though, Shane, do you need anything? Is there anything else that I can grab for you?”
“No, man. I should be good with the food.” The two of them were quiet for a second, save for the sound of chewing. “I am sorry I just butted in on you guys. It seems you two were having a good time before I got here.”
“Trust me. Nothing can stop me from having a good time with your sister,” I heard Spencer respond with a cocky yet humorous tone.
“Ah, shit. Are you trying to get me to kick myself out of your house?”
“Perhaps,” Spencer said with a chuckle.
The two of them laughed, and I smiled as I listened to them teasing each other.
“Well, make yourself at home,” Spencer said. “If the jet lag starts getting to you, the fridge is full of whatever you need to make yourself comfortable. You’ve got a place here as long as you need it, okay?”
The two of them fell silent once more before Shane spoke quietly, “Thank you. Seriously. You’re a good man.”
“I know,” Spencer answered. “But it’s no problem. I also want you to know I will help you in any way possible. There’s nothing worse than a parent who’s out to destroy the health and happiness of their child. It’s fucked up, and I know that game all too well.”
I stepped away from the kitchen door, feeling those raw emotions rising in my throat as I headed for the stairs.
When I got to the room, I lay on the bed, gathered the silken comforter into my hands, shut my eyes tightly, and tried to fight the helplessness creeping in.
As a kid, the inability to wrestle my life into compliance felt crushing. The beautiful, wealthy home projected to the outside world, worthy of compassion because of its widowed father and motherless children, was a hollow façade, held together by the efforts of a girl who was barely managing to get her little brother to eat enough to put on weight.
The beauty and grandeur of this room suddenly felt overwhelming, and I brought one of the pillows over my head to shut out the world.
The noise in my head was starting to grow, building to a massive crescendo, and I didn’t know how to cut through it.
A familiar, sturdy grip on my arm jolted me back into my body, and I lifted the pillow off my head to look at the man who’d been destroying all the safeguards I’d spent the last decade and a half firmly putting into place. Spencer’s handsome face was creased in concern, and he dragged his finger down my cheek as he looked me over.
“He’s okay,” Spence said, lying beside me and wrapping his arm around me. “Shane went to bed a little bit after you did. It seemed like he was pretty beaten to shit in more ways than one.”
I gave him a tight smile before looking up at the ceiling. “Thanks for being so understanding with him.”
“How else would I treat him?” he asked, running his knuckle down my arm.
I shrugged, and his fingers fell away. “Not entirely sure. I couldn’t have predicted he’d fly out here, so I definitely couldn’t predict how you’d treat him.” I sat up, pulling my knees into my chest. “My brother has been through a lot of shit. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
“Uh-huh,” he said. “About that.”
His voice trailed off, and I turned to look at him. His face didn’t have the quiet, loving concern it had when he lifted the pillow from my face. Instead, I saw the indifference I’d started to associate with his desire to figure out something that someone was keeping from him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I finally asked.
He pursed his lips as he balanced his elbow on his knee and tilted his head to the side. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this stuff about Shane or your dad? I knew he was a dirtbag, but I never knew about the beatings and—”
“You can call that what it actually was,” I said, my voice taking on a dead tone I rarely heard myself use. “Child abuse.”
He pursed his lips, waiting for me to explain.
“It didn’t need to be said,” I replied, looking down at my fingers and examining my cuticles. “I didn’t want to contaminate what we were doing with my family’s bullshit.”
