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I was ashamed it had taken me almost six months to realize that only I could help myself. And maybe Mickie wouldn’t want anything to do with me after what I’d allowed to happen—God knows I wouldn’t hold it against her—but I needed to take charge of my life again, and I’d stop at nothing to fix things.
Chapter Fifty-One
Mickie
I took one last bite of my chocolate chip birthday cupcake and dusted off the crumbs from my trousers before I pulled my lab coat back on. Today was a fantastic day. Ash was completely cancer-free after six months of chemo, and she was now on a frontline treatment to ensure it wouldn’t return.
I loved seeing Ash in high spirits with all the good news. It reminded me of the corner I was turning, bringing more positivity into my life.
“Hey, Mickie,” Presley said. She was a new intern, and her youthful and vivacious spirit was the main reason this doctor’s office had been jumping with excited energy for the past few months. “I heard you did a delivery for Dr. Harold today?”
I chuckled. “Yes,” I said, trying to keep gossip about the seventy-six-year-old doctor filling in for John at a minimum. “Poor guy must’ve eaten something bad last night…” I paused and looked at her with a defeated expression. “But, yes. The baby is happy and healthy, and so is Dr. Harold.”
“Honestly,” the intern cringed, “I think he needs to retire. How long has he been here?”
“Just because he was alive when Moses was a boy doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what he’s doing,” I teased, not wanting to disparage the man even though Presley was probably right. I just didn’t like the idea that people wanted you to step aside once you reached a certain age. “I understand why you say that, but he’s a brilliant doctor, that’s for sure, and sharp as a tack. He’s just here on a rotation sequence from UC Irvine. I’m not sure if he will be permanent, but thank God he came to Saint John’s because Dr. Aster was our only oncologist in the women’s clinic, and we would’ve had to outsource a lot of patients after his resignation if Dr. Harold didn’t.”
“I heard Aster was a really good doctor,” she said. “And like, hot, sexy, and funny.”
After not hearing a word from John or knowing anything about what happened to him, I’d done an excellent job moving on from the guy as best I could. The heavy aches in my heart came in waves, though, and sometimes, the agony of missing him was almost too much to bear.
It was all ridiculous, really, because it didn’t make sense to me why I would have to put so much effort into forgetting someone I was just getting to know. We hadn’t been together long enough for me to behave this way or feel this much grief, so I wasn’t sure why I missed him like this—like a piece of me was just gone, and if I acknowledged it, I’d be fucked up all day.
“He was pretty great,” was all I could manage in response.
“I’ve heard that you two?—”
“Nope,” I cut her off. “We’re not going there. Whatever hospital gossip that has been fed to you about my personal life is off limits.” I smiled as sweetly as possible, “Dr. Aster was a gifted doctor, but unfortunately, he resigned and moved on. That’s where we leave this, and I would appreciate it if you would help spread the word about the more important parts of Dr. Aster’s time here and leave me out of it?”
“I understand,” she said. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“Don’t apologize,” I answered. “Dr. Aster’s loss was felt by more people than me and his coworkers; his patients were also upset about his sudden resignation. Dr. Harold being here just goes to show that everyone is replaceable.”
I meant that, too. John’s disappearing act affected a lot of people, especially his cancer patients. He was vital to them—they trusted him with their lives—and he abandoned them.
“Are you going out for drinks with us tonight?” Allison questioned. “It is your birthday.”
I smiled at her and signed off the charts I’d almost missed before I got ambushed in the hallway about my birthday after my last patient for the day. “No,” I said. “You know Ashley Mitchell?”
“Yes, I heard Dr. Harold talking about how well she was doing on her maintenance therapy, completely cancer-free!”
I grinned at her excitement. That’s how we all felt around here whenever we watched our oncology patients have such positive wins.
“Well, I’m off to celebrate with her and some of the others tonight,” I handed her the charts I’d finished in my office while eating my cupcake. “They’ve planned a surprise party for her at Dr. Brooks’ ranch in Malibu.”
“That sounds fun,” she said, turning to enter the information I’d just handed her. “Is Miss Linda on two-week visits for prenatal care yet?”
“Not yet,” I said about our youngest mommy-to-be. “She’ll be moving into her third trimester next month, and then we’ll start seeing her more often.”
“Perfect,” she said. “Well, I’m going to finish this, and then I’m out of here.”
“Okay. I just need to see if Dr. Harold survived the day before I check out of here myself,” I chuckled at her, shaking her head as I turned and walked away.
After a fantastic hot shower and a quick change of clothes, I was finally on my way to Collin and Elena’s house to celebrate Ash beating cancer. I had to admit I was loving this side of working with cancer patients. It was very therapeutic, and it was helping me cope with the grief of losing my friend—something I never thought I’d be able to get through. Being around a fighting spirit like Ashley’s was an eye-opening experience to see that there were positive outcomes as well.
I pulled up a long asphalt driveway lined by white split-rail fences, in absolute awe of this home—or ranch. Horses grazed in green pastures, and seeing something so rural for the first time in forever made me smile. It wasn’t like the ranches and farms I was used to seeing in Tennessee, though, because this place had a majestic ocean view.
I thought I’d seen it all, winding down this driveway that led up to the lodge of a home that made John’s Aspen place look like a hut, but I hadn’t. I parked my car next to the rest of the fancy ones, looking entirely out of place, and then got out to take in the beauty of the view.
