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“Am I correct in assuming you’re here about resuming your position at Saint John’s?” Jim asked directly. The friendly side of the man I’d known was replaced by the James Mitchell I’d only heard about from people intimidated by him.
“Partly, yes,” I answered. “I’m unsure where I should start, though?”
“Why don’t you start with why you requested a meeting with me a week ago?” Jim said. “I’ll be honest with you, Dr. Aster. I am not a man who appreciates having his time wasted. I’m talking about hearing bullshit excuses. I expect you to be direct and to the point.”
If I weren’t acutely aware that I’d put myself in this position, I would have been angry that Jim had the nerve to speak to me this way. He was one of the most intimidating men I’d ever been in the presence of, but I’d been dealing with powerful men my whole life. Being spoken to like I was a child after what I’d just gone through with my family wouldn’t get us anywhere.
But I knew better than to buck up and try to be a big shot. Mea culpa—I’d done this to myself.
“Allow me to translate,” Jake said, a bit of humor in his voice because the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. “Don’t start blaming everyone but yourself for your decision to abandon your job, your patients, and anyone else who depended on you to act like a grown-ass man and not a child whose doctor failed to cut the umbilical cord between you and Mommy.”
“That’s enough, Jake,” Jim snapped at his brother.
I quickly discerned how badly my actions had pissed off everyone, and at this rate, I was becoming terrified to see Mickie again, much less explain myself and beg for her back.
“I get it,” I said, reminding myself they had every right to be disappointed by my actions. “You are pissed off at me.”
“I don’t get pissed,” Jim said. “Anger displays weakness. And I am not weak unless my wife is working her charms on me. However, I’m extremely disappointed by how you abandoned your patients and resigned from your duties at one of the best hospitals in the country. If I allowed every physician to play those childish games, everyone would take their jobs, which are selectively appointed, for granted. So, no, I’m not pissed. I’m disgusted by your lack of ethics and decency, given you come from a family that prides itself on being honorable and loyal to business, friends, and most of all, charitable cases.”
“I understand, and I should’ve started by apologizing for how I chose to leave,” I said.
“While Jim doesn’t need your sympathies, I do,” Jake said, raising an eyebrow at me. “My brother is right when he says he doesn’t get pissed off and allow anger to show weakness,” he mockingly eyed his brother, most likely hoping I didn’t see it, then looked at me, “but I do get pissed off.”
“Is that why you’re here?” I asked.
“He’s here to help me determine whether or not I’ll allow you to return to Saint John’s and resume the position you resigned from if that’s why you’re here?”
“As I said, that is part of it, yes,” I answered.
“Well, before we get to the other parts,” Jake cut in, “I want a fucking explanation about why you abandoned your patients—cancer patients—and vanished into thin-fucking-air.”
I nodded, knowing his wife was one of the patients I left behind. “It was extremely unprofessional of me.”
“Unprofessional? Your patients trusted you with their lives, John. Ashley trusted you with her life,” Jake’s voice nearly cracked when he said it, and if I didn’t already feel like the worst man on earth, I would’ve now because he was right. “Again, I’m not Jim, who doesn’t want excuses regarding your cowardly actions, but I do. Why the hell would you just walk out on everyone and everything like you did?”
“Jake, as much as I appreciate your candor, I won’t allow your personal feelings to get in the way of this meeting. John,” Jim looked at me, “why should Saint John’s rehire and allow you to treat their patients when it has been made extremely clear that you only serve your interests and no one else’s?”
“Over the last several months,” I answered Jim firmly, “I’ve learned a lot about myself and the life I was raised in. Before the events that led to my resignation, I loved being an OB, and more than that,” I looked over at Jake, “I love oncology and all the patients I treated.” I returned my attention to Jim, “It wasn’t until recently that I realized I shouldn’t have been hired or trusted to put a patient’s life over my own.”
Jim frowned. “Go on,” he said after I paused for a response.
“I was raised to believe I needed my family’s endorsements for everything I did, although I rebelled against most of it because my passion truly was my career. However, I didn’t realize how much I mentally depended on their approval. So, in trying not to blame anyone but myself for my resignation and leaving the way I did, I must admit that I did it out of fear of my parents and what they are capable of.”
“Speaking of what your parents are capable of,” Jim started, “your family and the investors who are friendly with them have recently withdrawn all of their support to Saint John’s. Are you aware of that?”
“That was one of the threats made if I didn’t resign and return to the family. Knowing I’ve returned, I can’t say I’m surprised they acted on it.”
Jim’s countenance changed entirely as if the mood had lightened and the sun came out from behind a thundercloud. “Your parents certainly have you by the balls, don’t they?”
“They did,” I said. “That’s the main reason I resigned and didn’t stick around to give any farewells.”
Jim unexpectedly smiled, “I would’ve spared you a lot of fucking trouble if you had only chosen to speak to me about this first. However, it does appear that since you managed to give me an acceptable reason for your lack of professionalism and have held yourself accountable, I feel that if I were to rehire you—after the board’s approval, of course—you would likely be a better physician than before you left.”
“I would appreciate the chance and opportunity to prove myself,” I answered.
“And prove yourself, you will, buddy,” Jake said, smacking me a little too hard on the back. “I’ll tell you something, though. I’d hate to be you.”
“Why, because of Mickie?”
