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“It wasn’t just fucking, and you know it.”
“Stop.” He shoved me away. “I don’t need your lies.”
Feeling him push me away was almost as painful as leaving him in the jungle had been. I was ready to talk now, to tell him the truth, but he wouldn’t believe me. He didn’t want to hear it, and really, that was what I deserved, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
I grabbed his bag from where he’d dropped it on the floor.
“Fuck no,” he yelled, tugging it back as I tried to keep a hold on it and unzip it.
“There have to be cuffs in here somewhere.”
“You think I’m going to let you?—”
“No, idiot, you’re going to restrain me, then I’ll be yours to tease, fuck, hurt any way you want.”
His eyes went wide. “What?”
“You heard me.”
I stomped over to the bed, stripped myself naked, then lay on my stomach and pulled my knees up under myself. When I crossed my wrists at the base of my spine, Carter sucked in his breath, and I turned my head so I could see his reaction.
His mouth hung open as he stared at me. His cock stood out from his body. Precum dipped from the tip, and I wanted to taste it again. I wanted to swallow his load. I prayed I’d get another chance to, but right now I had to work with what I had: Carter’s desperate need to punish me.
If I could force him to let go, to pour out his rage into me, to use me like he wanted to, then I had a chance. He wasn’t going to see reason until that was done. He wasn’t ready to consider that maybe I’d done the best I could. Would I be able to make him believe that, even if I never told him the real reasons behind my decisions? Even if he never knew just how big of a part he played in it?
I arched my back more deeply. “Come on, Carter. You know you want this. You want me at your mercy. You want to punish me for leaving you.”
“This isn’t about me. It’s about what you did to our platoon. It’s about you betraying us all.”
“It’s not about me shooting you, sending you through the jungle dripping blood, knowing you might die?”
“Fuck you.”
“Yes. I’m yours. Your prisoner. You call the shots now.”
“Stop fucking taunting me.”
“Then let yourself go and give yourself what you know you want.”
He growled.
“Come get me.”
He was shaking. I could see the tension in him as he tried to fight his instincts to do exactly what I said. He was still trying to play by the rules, by a code that no longer applied between the two of us.
“Stop being so fucking noble.”
“You think I’m noble? I just forced you to?—”
“No, you didn’t force anything. You know how much I love to have your cock down my throat.”
That did it. Carter reached into his bag and pulled out a pair of cuffs. I’d known they were in there.
No matter how much we both needed this, I had to momentarily fight back panic when he snapped the cuffs around my wrists. It had been a long time since I’d been willingly restrained, and my survival instincts kicked in—where had they been earlier?—forcing me to struggle against the cuffs. Carter slapped my ass hard, making me gasp.
“Do that again,” I demanded.
“No.”
