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He was so damn hot like this. I knew he was playing me, but I didn’t even care. It felt too amazing. And I deserved that. I deserved pleasure from him after the hell he’d put me through.
I rammed into him, and the sound he made was everything I wanted. He sounded wounded, scared, and needy. I was sick to get off on that, but it was only with him, only because he deserved it. “You’re so fucking tight. How long has it been since anyone took you like this?”
“You. Only you.”
“No one had your ass while you worked for the enemy? For the men who wanted to kill us all? For the ones who don’t care about anything but themselves and how to make a profit?”
“No one.” His whole body was tense. His ass was squeezing me so hard it hurt. The words seemed to be squeezed from him as well, but I heard him clearly.
His ass was mine, and that made me so much happier than it should. I knew he rarely bottomed for anyone, but I’d figured he would have bargained with his body like he had with his soul.
“No one else is going to do this to you. This is only for me.”
He nodded frantically. “Yes. Just you.”
Dear God, what was I saying? What did I mean? He wasn’t going to stay here. I didn’t want him in my life. Once I had his secrets, he could crawl back to the CIA or do whatever the hell he wanted.
Liar. He’s yours, and you know it.
I pushed that thought away as I leaned forward, letting more of my weight settle onto Matteo, not caring how tightly his arms were pinned. He was the fool who’d begged to be cuffed like this. If I wanted to cut off his circulation, I damn well would. I wrapped a hand around his throat and squeezed. His eyes went wide, and for just a second, I saw fear there. Good, he should be afraid.
Of you? You can’t bring yourself to really hurt him.
I want to.
No, you don’t. You want to fuck him, and you want to know why he chose to do what he did. But you can’t hurt him. You can’t leave him for dead. You can’t send him back to those men who will surely know he double-crossed them.
I squeezed harder, and he fought me, trying to get away, but I had him pinned down with my dick, my hands, my cuffs. He wasn’t going anywhere. I could kill him if I wanted to.
I eased up the pressure and ran my thumb up and down the front of his throat feeling him swallow. “Do you like being at my mercy?”
“Fuck yes.”
“Do you like being used by me?”
“I…Carter….”
I squeezed hard again, not wanting to hear any more. I wasn’t completely cutting off his air, but I was making him wonder how far I would really go as I worked my hips, driving into his ass, fucking him hard and rough. He was fighting me, trying to free himself. I wasn’t sure what he wanted more, for me to let him come or to get away.
“Do you regret what you offered?” When he tried to answer I squeezed his throat until he couldn’t breathe. When I finally let go, he gasped for air, his face red, his body covered in sweat. “I’m giving you what you begged for, but I’m not going to make it easy on you.”
“Never. Nothing about you is easy.”
I gripped his hips and slammed into him harder than ever. “Don’t you dare act like I’m the one who is difficult. You made everything harder than it needed to be. You never gave an inch, you….”
I clamped my mouth shut, afraid I might say something I’d regret, something like how he never showed he cared, how I never knew what to think about him, how he made me fucking love him. I was never going to admit that. He knew he had power over me, but if he knew I’d loved him, he’d truly be able to kill me then.
You still love him.
No.
I yanked his hips higher, needing access to his dick. When I reached under him and wrapped my hand around his length, he whimpered. The sound was delicious.
I worked his cock as he tried his best to thrust into my hand. “You like that. You like me jerking you off while your ass is being rammed by my cock.”
He whimpered again. I didn’t care if he was playing me, knowing what I wanted to hear. That sound alone brought me to the brink of orgasm.
I worked him until he was shaking. I was as needy as he was, but I fought to hold back. I needed this to last just a little longer. If I was honest, I wanted it to last forever so I’d never have to deal with the consequences, but my dick was begging for release, and my vision was starting to go dark at the edges from the combination of pleasure, exhaustion, and emotional upheaval.
